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Michael Ian Black

My Custom Van: And 52 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face Paperback – July 14, 2009

by Michael Ian Black (Author)

158 ratings

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Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.

Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*.

How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade."

Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all.

Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead.

And this flap copy.

Enjoy.

* Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.

Print length

256 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Gallery Books
Publication date

July 14, 2009
Dimensions

5.31 x 0.8 x 8.25 inches
ISBN-10

1439153531
ISBN-13

978-1439153536
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Michael Ian Black has proven that even the most simple-minded among us can occasionally create works of genius." -- Stephen Colbert

"Like all custom vans, Michael Ian Black's book is customized to fit all your needs and wants for the journey of your life. It's luxurious, entertaining, spooky, disturbing, and hilarious. Devil's in the details! It's stocked with tacos, vampires, squirrels, a cleaning lady, scented candles, salami, tundra, and a foreword by Abe Lincoln himself -- now that's Class with a capital C. Enjoy the ride of your lifetime." -- Amy Sedaris

"This is a great book for shut-ins, for people who like to laugh at sentences, and people who like to move their belongings from place to place. In fact, anyone who likes to pack or ship anything will find a lot to like in these pages." -- Dave Eggers

"Fun to read while you're pooping." -- Sarah Silverman

"I always walk away jealous and a little fearful of Michael Ian Black's sharp comedic wit. If you like your comedy dry, absurd, and unforced, you will love this book." -- Jim Gaffigan

"Michael Ian Black speaks to the laughless in all of us and asks, 'Why aren't you laughing?' Then he takes the laughless in all of us roughly by the shoulders and INSISTS THAT WE LAUGH, usually by writing exceedingly funny and compelling essays such as those included in this volume." -- John Hodgman

"Michael Ian Black is so wrong that he's right." -- Lewis Black

About the Author

Michael Ian Black is a writer, comedian, and actor who has appeared on Another Period, The Jim Gaffigan Show, and Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp. He created and starred in many television series, has written screenplays, and regularly tours the country as a stand-up comedian. Michael is the bestselling author of the book My Custom Van, the memoir You’re Not Doing It Right, and the children’s books Chicken Cheeks, The Purple Kangaroo, A Pig Parade Is a Terrible Idea, I’m Bored, Naked!, Cock-a-Doodle-Doo-Bop!, and I’m Sorry. Michael lives in Connecticut with his wife and two children.

Product details

Publisher : Gallery Books (July 14, 2009)
Language : English
Paperback : 256 pages
ISBN-10 : 1439153531
ISBN-13 : 978-1439153536
Item Weight : 7.2 ounces
Dimensions : 5.31 x 0.8 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,422,097 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3,554 in Humor Essays (Books)
- #4,373 in Humorous American Literature
- #4,676 in American Literature Criticism

Customer Reviews:
158 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		71%
4 star		8%
3 star		5%
2 star		8%
1 star		8%

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Top reviews from the United States

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Scottsoyingo

Laugh out loud funny!!

Reviewed in the United States on March 13, 2019

Verified Purchase

I read his other book, You're not Doing it right, and loved it. I started this book and initially thought it wouldn't be as good. His warped sense of humor is amazing. I literally laugh out loud all the time reading this. My wife has kicked me out of bed twice this week because I couldn't control my laughter. He's a great writer, and I love his crazy sense of humor.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

JM Brazil

Squirrels, Flokati, and Festive Raccoons...

Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2012

Verified Purchase

I can sum this book up in 2 simple words - This book was hilarious.
Amazon "recommended" this book based on past purchases, and sure enough, they found my kind of humor. Actually, they recommended Michael Ian Black's more recent 'You're Not Doing it Right', but after reading the introduction, I figured it would be better to test-drive his first book prior. I'd never heard of Mr. Black even though he's (very famous), but based on the reviews decided to give it a shot. I agree with many other posters that it really depends on the style of comedy one prefers, this book could probably piss someone off just as easily as it made me fall out of my chair. It's very off-the-wall, somewhat dry humor, sometimes subtle, sometimes in-your-face, but never immature. I now can't wait to get his next one.

Helpful

Gerry

I have read a couple of Micheal Ian Black's other ...

Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2017

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I have read a couple of Micheal Ian Black's other books and found them enormously entertaining. However, I found his collection of essays rather disappointing in comparison.

One person found this helpful

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tim beckman

I love Michael Ian Black. Stella 4 ever

Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2019

Verified Purchase

Contender for my favorite comedy book, ok it's my favorite humorous book, next to Ol L Ron Hubby's Dianetics: How to Have Diarrhea of the Mind 4ever. Michael Ian Black soothes the savage soul and grooves ravaging wholeness towards enriching arts

Helpful

J. Wright

Michael Ian Black is HILARIOUS!

Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2008

Verified Purchase

This is a very funny collection of stories. However, I will warn the potential buyer that if you are very familiar with Michael Ian Black's work then you will find many of these stories to be repeats from his online blog and his live shows. But that is not necessarily a bad thing since they are still just as funny in this format, and there is plenty of new material here as well.

All in all a great purchase for fans of MIB, The State, and Stella. If you aren't familiar with this kind of humor, then you might want to do a little research so you know what you're getting into! I find it absolutely HILARIOUS, but fans of the likes of Dane Cook likely will not! :-)

7 people found this helpful

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Lauren M

B+

Reviewed in the United States on July 26, 2008

Verified Purchase

In this collection of humorous essays, Black takes stereotypes and turns them upside down and twists them into satirical caricatures. From a chapter mocking over-zealous party-goers to a monologue from a self-loathing high school football coach, Black has a range of memorable characters and events that give endless variety to a book that could have been very monotonous. The beautiful thing about his work is that the author never outrightly mocks anything. Instead, he uses skillful exaggeration and the point-of-view of the type of person he is skewering to effectively commentate on society...and to make us laugh. Of course, there are the obligatory sex jokes, and some of the essays seemed a bit boring and pointless. Annoyingly, Black also recycled some jokes that brought down what otherwise would have been near-flawless prose. But dominating the book is a great sense of humor - reading each essay is fun, and in the last sentence, Black delivers a punch line that is perfectly timed and immediately effective.

2 people found this helpful

Helpful

Mr. Brad Bauer

My Custom Van-tastic

Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2008

Verified Purchase

It's been a long time since I have openly laughed/giggled at a book. I have been a fan of Michael Ian Black through his "I Love the..." series on VH1 and even bought his last comedy album (which wasn't too great). However, these essays have moved into my top ten list of the year.

I have read a few of these before. The "Billy Joel" piece, easily the best of the book, was posted on McSweeney's a few years back. Still, I laugh and laugh. The hardcover is a little pricy for the book's length, but it was worth every penny. It makes it even better if you've heard him before, as you can imagine his sardonic and sarcastic voice saying every word. Genius and highly recommended.

2 people found this helpful

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A. Hoerner

Super funny!

Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2012

Verified Purchase

This book was so funny! Not all the essays were funny to me, maybe because I didn't know who he was talking about or had no reference point for a couple of essays. But I giggled my way through the book. I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I read along! It's a quick, fast read... Just read it. It's totally worth it. I love Michael Ian Black. Also, read You're Not Doing It Right!

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