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Jasmine Warga

My Heart and Other Black Holes Paperback – May 31, 2016

by Jasmine Warga (Author)

4.6 3,189 ratings

Goodreads Choice Award nominee

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A stunning novel about the transformative power of love, perfect for fans of 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher.

Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution—Roman, a teenage boy who’s haunted by a family tragedy, is looking for a partner.

Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together.

Print length

320 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Balzer + Bray
Publication date

May 31, 2016
Grade level

9 - 12
Reading age

14 - 17 years
Dimensions

1.1 x 5.3 x 8.2 inches
ISBN-10

0062324683
ISBN-13

978-0062324689
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“At times poignant, bitter, and funny, this narrative captures [a] unique voice that questions what it means to die-and to live.” — Booklist (starred review)

“My Heart and Other Black Holes is alive with intensity, gut-wrenching honesty, moments of humor, and-of course-heart. This is an extraordinary debut by a striking new voice in YA fiction that left me in awe and moved beyond measure. Not to be missed.” — Nova Ren Suma, author of IMAGINARY GIRLS and 17 & GONE

“With high intelligence and a massiveness of heart, Warga gifts us with a novel that has the music of Mozart, the logic of advanced physics, and the vision to see the link between them. This is something utterly new, a book that is kinetic and beautiful and unexpectedly life-affirming.” — Chris Lynch, National Book Award Finalist for Inexcusable and Michael L. Printz Honor-winner for Freewill

“[The book] addresses serious issues with complexity and humor . . . thoughtfully presented.” — School Library Journal

“Earnest and heartfelt . . . any teen who’s ever felt like an outsider will be able to relate to Aysel’s and Roman’s fully realized characters.” — Kirkus Reviews

“Debut novelist Warga addresses adolescent depression and suicide with honesty and grace” — Publishers Weekly

“Debut author Warga unflinchingly tackles the grim subject matter with empathy, sensitivity, and honesty, without trivializing her protagonists’ disturbing thoughts or emotions . . . [with an] utterly endearing romance.” — The Horn Book

“Warga delves honestly into the very difficult issues of teenage depression…sometimes sad, sometimes funny, but ultimately filled with hope.” — Voice of Youth Advocates (VOYA)

About the Author

Jasmine Warga's debut middle grade book, Other Words for Home, is a Newbery Honor Book. She is the author of the novels for teens My Heart and Other Black Holes, which has been translated into over twenty languages, and Here We Are Now. She lives and writes in Cincinnati, Ohio. You can visit Jasmine online at www.jasminewarga.com.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Balzer + Bray; Reprint edition (May 31, 2016)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0062324683
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0062324689
Reading age ‏ : ‎ 14 - 17 years
Grade level ‏ : ‎ 9 - 12
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 1.1 x 5.3 x 8.2 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #29,841 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.6 3,189 ratings

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4.6 out of 5

3,189 global ratings

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khe

worth it

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 16, 2023

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phew! this was such a beautiful read.

i was engrossed from the beginning and my interest never once swayed. i was desperate to find out what tragedy took over the MC’s heart and how/if it was going to be overcame.

my heart and other black holes centers around aysel, who’s struggling and doubts that she has any reason to live. she’s convinced that she has a “black hole” consuming her insides and is unable to foresee any sort of happiness for herself. she meets roman, the sweetest-grumpiest boy and they both want the same thing which is to not be alive. overtime aysel’s views and heart changes, the black hole gradually closes, allowing her to find reasons to live, love and be happy.

sadly, roman is still suffering himself, trying to claw his way out of the “black hole” and aysel tries to be there for him, encouraging him to stay alive. but sometimes, people have to learn how to support and appreciate themselves on their own. it’s more personal and it brings forth self reflection and a sense of self realization.

in the end though, we all want somebody to hold onto us, cradle us and reassure us that they’re here for us and present with us.

i had all the feels reading this, love, sadness, happiness, hope and i ugly cried reading the last few chapters. this book is for the people who has lost hope and need that kinetic energy to give them a boost .

i annotated so many things from this, i couldn’t stop tbh, some things were relatable, some were sad, some were funny, sweet & hopeful. this is in my top 5 of books of last year!

i read the ebook but needed the physical copy, it came in good condition!

One person found this helpful

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𝙠𝙚𝙣𝙯

read. it.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 14, 2023

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as someone who has always struggled with depression and anxiety, this book gave me so many new outlooks. it’s a deep story and the feelings are so real. i cried so hard reading this.

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Larry Hoffer

Do you fight to die or fight to live?

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 8, 2015

Verified Purchase

I'd rate this 4.5 stars.

Aysel is a 16-year-old high school student growing up in Kentucky. She's obsessed with science, particularly physics, but she avoids participating in school because she doesn't want to give her fellow classmates even more fodder to whisper about her. She's also tremendously depressed, and fears that the mental illness which plagues her father will affect her in the same way, so she has made up her mind that she's ready to die.

"Something inside me is wrong. Sure, there are things in my life that make me feel alone, but nothing makes me feel more isolated and terrified than my own voice in my head."

Aysel spends a lot of time on Smooth Passages, a website for people who want to die. In a section of the site called "Suicide Partners," which is dedicated to people looking for others to make their final plans with. It is in this section that Aysel meets Roman, a 17-year-old who lives in the next town over. He, too, wants desperately to die, wants to do it with someone who lives within an hour of him, and he wants to die on April 7. That's non-negotiable.

As Aysel gets to know Roman, and gets drawn into his life, she realizes the depth of his sadness, but she is uncomfortable sharing her reasons for wanting to die, for fear she may alienate him. As the days draw closer to April 7, she starts to wonder if death is really the answer for the two of them, or if she's better off finding them reasons to live. But Roman isn't interested in changing his plans, no matter how Aysel makes him feel.

"I once read in my physics book that the universe begs to be observed, that energy travels and transfers when people pay attention. Maybe that's what love really boils down to—having someone who cares enough to pay attention so that you're encouraged to travel and transfer, to make your potential energy spark into kinetic energy."

My Heart and Other Black Holes made me sad, and it gave me hope. It painted a tremendously accurate, effective, and emotional picture of teens dealing with depression and despair, and how the need to escape those feelings becomes greater than anything else, even connections with others. Jasmine Warga created memorable characters you truly feel for, and I've been thinking about them even after finishing the book.

This book will generate comparisons with Jennifer Niven's amazing All the Bright Places , and while the two share a general theme, they're very different books. This book is a little more straightforward; I felt as if Roman and Aysel talked more like teenagers and dealt with more teenage-like problems that Violet and Finch did in Niven's book, but I felt as if the plot in this book was a little more predictable. This book is no pale imitation of Niven's, however; it is tremendously well-written and affecting, and it deserves to be read on its own merits.

In the end, it's important to realize that even if your problems seem insurmountable, there is always a solution other than suicide. Anyone dealing with those feelings needs to get help, needs to let someone else in, even if the thought is overwhelming. Give someone else the chance to listen to you, to hear you, to help you.

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Ali

AMAZING

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on March 5, 2019

Verified Purchase

Without giving too much away, the story follows 16 year old Aysel who loves physics.
It also follows popular 16 year old talented Roman who has the “perfect” life.
Aysel and Roman meet online and become partner, but not as you would expect.
Aysel and Roman have a special date set for April 7th.
Aysel and Roman both want to die.
Aysel and Roman are suicide partners.

After meeting online on a website called Suicide Partners, Aysel and Roman arrange to meet in order to arrange the details for April 7th.

MY THOUGHTS
I have been really enjoying reading books about mental health this year. After reading
If I Was Your Girl, Under Rose Tainted Skies, Mockingbird and El Deafo in January for a read-a-thon, I knew I had to pick some more up as soon as I got the chance, and as soon as I started reading I was hocked. It is a real page turner for contemporary, YA, lit lovers, and anyone who wants to know more about mental health.

I thought the whole idea of this bought a new look at how people both deal with and perceive mental illness. It was obviously from the moment they had their first meet that they were extremely different people, and thought of death in completely different ways to one another, even though the ultimate outcome would be the same.

There was so much more to the story than just suicide which is what I really enjoyed. It drew a honest, insightful and concise picture of 2 teens living with depression. I liked that we took a look into both teens lives and got to know how and why they felt the need to end their lives so young. Aysel feels scared and alone after her father committed an unthinkable act, whilst Roman is struggling to get over a family tragedy that he blames himself for. I honestly believe that more people than we think can relate to these characters throughout the book.

Personally I really liked how the author ended the book. Contrary to a lot of reviews I have read, it did not disappoint. However the part where Aysel seems to reconsider her plans so early on in the book (this is not a spoiler as the synopsis states that “Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it”) was a slight disappointment as it just seemed to laugh a little at those with the mental illness, and how quickly someone can change their mind so easily with no help after so long of feeling suicidal. It was for this reason that I actually preferred the character that Warga created in Roman, as his story just seemed a lot more genuine.

I would encourage more people to pick it up and read My Heart and Other Black Holes. It taught me a lot about how people with suicidal thoughts and mental illnesses think (more so with Roman) and why they believe they “deserve to die”. Obviously all cases are different, but we need to start understanding it a little more so that the everyday person is more capable of seeing the signs and therefore would be able to offer help, support or take control.

MY FAVORITE QUOTE
“Maybe we all have darkness inside of us and some of us are better at dealing with it than others.”

4 people found this helpful

Sean

An amazing book that could’ve been so much better with a different ending

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on July 17, 2022

Verified Purchase

Up until the final 50 pages I was absolutely in love with this book. **major spoilers ahead, suicide tw** I was ready for it to be my new favourite book. The narrator of this book, Aysel, is a 16 year old girl suffering from severe, chronic depression after she felt to blame for a murder committed by her father, who finds a ‘suicide partner’ online to make sure she goes through with taking her own life. The parter, Roman is a (17?) year old who blames himself for his sisters death. One thing I really liked about this book was that the author depicted depression really well, with Aysel often referring to a ‘black slug’ that drained any possible happiness from her. This all changed when suddenly (although I was expecting it, I wasn’t expecting what happened afterwards) she declared her love for Roman, and seemingly after doing so she was cured of her depression. Long story short, *more spoilers*, Roman ends up attempting suicide before the date they planned as he can tell Aysel no longer wants to go through with it. He survives and they decide to keep living for each other. I am not saying that I’m mad that they survived, although I was hoping for a heartbreaking ending, but I’m mad that Aysel’s chronic depression was suddenly cured due to her love for Roman. Also, I’d like to add that Aysel & Roman’s relationship wasn’t very romantic in general so even if you like romances I would personally avoid this book. Despite this though I did absolutely love this book, the ending was just…awful.

Sydney at the Mental Health Book Club Podcast

An interesting view point about depression

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on January 4, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book covers the topic of suicide and a suicide pact – if you feel that these topics may trigger you this is not the book for you. If you need urgent help and are in the UK you should call 999. Alternatively, you can contact the Samaritans on 116 123 or call Childline for free on 0800 111.

Aysel, a sixteen-year-old who has decided that she wants to die. She finds Roman (Frozen Robot) in an online chatroom for people seeking a suicide partner as she is unsure if she can do this on her own and he has a very overprotective mother. Both Asyel and Roman have suffered unimaginable tragedy, a father who has killed and a sister under her brother’s care dies from a seizure in the bath means both don’t want to continue.

As a result of their friendship and the fact that Asyel has someone to talk to about how she feels, she begins to notice her mood changing, and her depression lifting allowing her to see that she doesn’t want to die. However, Roman has a differing opinion and she spends her time trying to convince him to live.

Even though Roman had made up his mind and regardless of him being able to open up to Aysel the main positive message from this book is to talk about how you feel, don’t hide it because when you are deep in depression you find it hard to see the reality. A very realistic message that can be understood by people who have been touched by depression, and that people who haven’t been there should know.

I think this is a very important topic to explore for all ages. Suicide is not something routinely talked about in general society, but hiding your feelings and any thoughts about suicide are dangerous. There is still so much stigma surrounding suicide that getting help should not be viewed poorly.

I was a little taken aback by some of the language and the concept of suicide pacts and partners in themselves. The advert that is posted by Roman states he doesn’t want a “flake” someone who will back out of the pact and this is referenced several times during the book. My issue here is that there could be some legal ramifications as there have now been cases where people have been prosecuted for encouraging another person to commit suicide. I couldn’t help but wonder for a more impressionable person that by telling them I don’t want a flake could add additional pressure if that person changes their mind. (For me as a person with borderline personality disorder and find self-identity tricky I generally go along with the thoughts and opinions of others around me).

Whilst I think this story could happen in reality and that the book covers an important topic, but be aware that some of the language may make you feel conflicted.

4 people found this helpful

Bex

A Snapshot Of Sadness.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on March 1, 2017

Verified Purchase

"Anyone who has actually been that sad can tell you that there's nothing beautiful or literary or mysterious about depression".

Warga captures that so perfectly. I fully expected to find this book uncomfortable. It's a book about suicide, so it was never going to be a happy read. But I didn't expect Jasmine Warga to display the brutal, ugly truth of how people suffering through depression, social anxiety and grief feel. She doesn't pretend to understand the way everyone feels, she doesn't sugarcoat anything or make it seem like a small issue. In fact, Warga delicately captures some insight into the confusing, sad and destructive moments of two lives as they commit to making a decision to end everything.

Whilst each reason might not make sense to everyone, to Aysel and Roman these reasons are everything. They are enough to need to escape. Aysel has been planning her own death for a while. Probably since the fatal moment her father caused the death of one of her schools best known athletes. Aysel feels like she's constantly weighed down by his shadow; that somehow she will become just like her father - unpredictable and violent. Roman has been planning the same. Since the death of his sister, a sister under his watch during that time, he can't escape the guilt. But he can escape this existence.

Both complete strangers but with similar sadness inside them, they join an online Suicide Partners scheme. It's essentially a website to connect you with someone else who wants to die, but is afraid they won't be able to follow through, they might get caught, or they need someone to go through it with. The sad truth is just that. A sad truth. Things like this happen all the time, and often get brushed under the carpet.

I loved the way Warga captured some of the inner turmoil of each character, and sometimes in such a small, subtle way that these snapshots were all the more powerful. It just goes to show how important the tiny signs, which seem so insignificant, can be telling us so much about a person and how they truly feel. Things like pulling down your sleeves to cover your hands when you're anxious, picking at food because your mind is somewhere else, the urge to tell silly jokes in social situations; these are all things close to home for a lot of people, and this cleverly woven element to the story really affected me.

Whilst these elements force you to feel that heaviness of being depressed, Aysel and Roman, despite being desperately sad, hide their sadness well. In fact, they are not depressing characters to read about at all - Aysel is in fact really funny most of the time. It's just that her depression is a part of her as well. And I really like that this author has been quite frank about this, that awareness of depression not being "just a feeling" but rather being something tangible you can't escape is really quite powerful.

The romance element of this story is kept quite small. The characters are more interested in moving towards their end goal. I did however struggle with the ending. Sometimes endings can be super obvious when lots of hints are dropped, and Warga does tend to spoon feed the reader a little with large clues (which even the characters notice and comment on, they're that obvious) and this spoils the story ahead a little. The ending was therefore entirely obvious towards the end, which was a shame.

Otherwise though, a really fantastic book with some clever ideas and an interesting approach to a difficult subject. I hope more people read this, if only to open their eyes to what might be happening to those around them, it certainly did for me.

Molly Terry

This book is something else.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on August 17, 2016

Verified Purchase

This book is something else. That’s all I can say for certain. I’m worried this review is going to come off the wrong way, but bear with me.

It was a slow start, but I’m almost certain it’s supposed to be that way. It lacked urgency, which of course mirrored Aysel’s depression in a very poignant way. The descriptions of depression were powerful and heartbreaking, and I think this book could help break down some barriers.

But it’s a tough read. It’s very heavy (not literally) and difficult to read too much in one go. It also made me feel isolated and sad in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. For this reason, it was a struggle to pick up because I didn’t want to feel too strongly what Aysel was feeling.

The characters were believable and realistic, and I could see them both clearly in my head. Aysel’s sarcastic comments were often pretty dark but they made me laugh – sometimes inappropriately. The book is filled with a layer of black humour. However, it’s also filled with a lot of beautiful thoughts.

There’s not much else to say. I’m not sure how much I enjoyed it. I’m not sure what star rating to give it. This book made me feel things in a way no other book has. But I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.

My Heart and Other Black Holes is so heavy it makes you feel like drowning, but it is well worth keeping yourself afloat till the end.

First Blogged on Movellas: [...]

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