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My Horizontal Life by [Handler, Chelsea]
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My Horizontal Life Kindle Edition

4.1 out of 5 stars 1,530 customer reviews

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Length: 213 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Opening with a cute story from when she was seven and photographed her parents having sex, stand-up comedian Handler goes on to discuss the virtues of the one-night stand, which amount to having sex early enough so you're not months into a relationship before you discover he's into "anal beads and duct tape." She discusses her quest for sex with a "black man," which doesn't work out because the date she finds on ChocolateSingles.com has a penis so large, she "would have had to be the size of the Lincoln Tunnel to accommodate that thing." After him, there's a "little midget," but she sobers up before sleeping with him. Next come a number of would-be partners with penises too small to consider. Finally, there's a guy Handler does sleep with, only an embarrassing incident involving a "giant skid mark" prevents her from seeing him again. By the end, Handler considers settling down with one man, which might actually net her more sex than these mostly unconsummated one-night stands. Anyone who laughs at the mere mention of vaginas and penises may find Handler's book almost as much fun as getting drunk and waking up in some stranger's bed.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Offbeat and laugh-out-loud-funny essays... smart, funny, and quick read." (Library Journal Review)

"Where have I been all of Chelsea Handler's life? I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is…she is too clever for words." (Liz Smith New York Post)

In a word: hilarious. In two: absolutely hilarious. These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they're also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt."
(Laura Zigman, author of Animal Husbandry, Dating Big Bird, and Her)

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer."
(Jay Leno)

"This book is no-holds-barred hilarious."
(Jennifer Weiner, author of In Her Shoes and Little Earthquakes)

"[Chelsea] just might be funnier than David Sedaris."
(Dallas Observer)

"Prime reading material for anyone looking to laugh their hiney off."
(About.com)

Product details

  • File Size: 463 KB
  • Print Length: 213 pages
  • Publisher: Bloomsbury USA (September 6, 2008)
  • Publication Date: September 6, 2008
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B002UM5BIM
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Screen Reader: Supported
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #301,010 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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