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My Husband Is Gay: A Woman's Guide to Surviving the Crisis Paperback – March 1, 2001
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
Top Customer Reviews
However, to my disappointment, but book seems far too slanted toward the gay spouse, his struggle, how horrible it must have been, is, for him. It seems to guide the straight wife down a path that leads to "it's okay, I still love him, we can still be friends". For me, this will never be okay,and it should never be okay. Unfaithfulness is NOT OKAY. That is not to say that I am going to be angry forever in a destructive way. I am angry now (1 1/2 years after my divorce and almost nine years after I first found out)but I know that will get less intense. Straight spouses need to stand up for themselves and be counted, need to say that this is NOT okay and that the gay spouses need to take responsibility for not knowing himself and not being honest with himself and women they married. It is not okay to be unfaithful to your wife, even if it is with another man because you are gay. You get the divorce first, take responsibility for any children and other practical aspects of the marriage, and then move on if you must. This book seems to pity the gay men in marriages and has not nearly enough support and sympathy for the wives who are almost invariably left with all the responsiiblity - the author herself admits that her husband spent time on vacation with other men, leaving her to shoulder the full load of the business they owned together. Just because someone is gay and married does not give them license to abdicate responsibility, and this author seems to let the gay men off way too easily.Read more ›
Instead, what we get from Carol Greever is a straight-forward, common sense, and bare bones snap shot of the challenges, blessings, ups, downs, pains, and hopes that occur anytime a marriage (especially a 10, 20, or 30+ year marriage) abruptly gets a disruptive jolt that likely signals the end of the marriage
One of the most valuable elements of the book is the realitic representation that there is no single example, no right way or wrong way, no template for how this phenomenon occurs, how it unfolds, how people MUST behave or react, and especially...no predefined way the story must end. So many of the books by supposed experts are ridiculously stuck in their own fantasy, delusion, or stereotyped biases that finding out your husband is bisexual/gay automatically means excessive pain, combat with your spouse, a focus on things like "blame" and "proof" and "betrayal" (all of which may be real elements of, or part of a phase of your process)..and that it's only a question of "when" you will or "must" divorce, and not a question of what you want, what's best for you, or both of you...and that, like all marriages where one partner decalres they've changed somehow and want a divorce ...Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Written with compassion and sensitivity. It was like reading all my pain written eloquently and with dignity. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Bookworm
This book's content is very helpful for the intended audience. I highly recommend this to any woman who finds herself in this terrible situation.Published 7 months ago by Renee
Very helpful if you know someone who is going thru this...Published on September 27, 2014 by Michele
Too many gay men marry straight women only to find it makes both people miserable. This book helps understand it all.Published on December 18, 2013 by forget-me-not
My Husband is Gay was given to me as a gift after my husband of 40 plus years came out. I was in shock and disbelief and felt so alone. Read morePublished on October 9, 2012 by M.R.
This review is written by Gwen Koehler former wife of a gay man
I am one of the women who's story is related in Carol's book, My Husband Is Gay: A Women's Survival... Read more
I was so glad to find this book during a horrible time in my life! It was a great help to realize I was not alone in this situation. Read morePublished on October 8, 2012 by thanks