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My Husband Wears My Clothes Paperback – August 17, 2003

4.0 out of 5 stars 48 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

My Husband Wears My Clothes, now in its second edition and seventh printing, has become the number one book on the unique topic of crossdressing and transgendered relationships. The author, Dr. Peggy Rudd, describes both the positives and many of the concerns and problems faced by wives and partners of crossdressers and transgendered individuals and suggests solutions. This book is a "must read" for anyone in a transgendered relationship or anyone interested in the phenomenon of men and women who cross gender lines. This book is frequenlty the first book to be read when a spouse or partner discovers that her/his partner is a crossdresser. Yes, there are many women who are crossdressers!

From the Author

Today the expression, "Clothes don't make the man," has a new meaning for me. My husband is as loveable in my clothes as in his. He is a more complete person when the feminine side of his personality is openly expressed by wearing feminine clothing. For me acceptance and understanding have been accomplished by reading on the topic, interacting with other men who crossdress and their significant others, and being sensitive to my husband and his needs.

In writing this book I am not exalting or advocating crossdressing. My purpose is to help eliminate many of the misconceptions. Society has been repressive. This is because people do not understand the true feelings and behavioral patterns of crossdressers. What people do not understand, they tend to fear, and fear breeds prejudice. As the reader grows in awareness my hope is that tolerance and understanding will grow proportionately. I do not expect readers to accept all of my thoughts and theories, but I do hope that the topic of crossdressing can be approached with an open mind. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 148 pages
  • Publisher: PM Publishers Inc.; 2 edition (August 17, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 096267625X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0962676253
  • Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.4 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (48 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,172,779 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I am in a serious relationship with a crossdresser and I felt very alone since I didn't understand him and he couldn't understand why. I had never been exposed to crossdressing and this book allowed me to see that it's "unusual, but not abnormal." We have both read it and I enjoyed the fact that it not only puts the woman in tune with what the man is doing, but on the flip side also emphasizes to the man that he has to pay attention to his girlfriend/wife's needs and desires as well outside of his crossdressing. I feel much more comfortable in our relationship after reading this book. If you can look past the issues of the fact that it was published by a small firm and there are typos and other formatting issues, the core of this book is quite meaningful and helpful, especially to someone who has little or no knowledge about the subject. It's a very caring, compassionate read for those who want to succeed in this type of relationship.
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Format: Paperback
I learned about my husband's crossdressing 15 years after our marriage and was devastated! I knew that I loved this man but was fearful of what would happen next. Did he want to become a woman! Was he gay? I sought counseling and was given the book, My Husband Wears My Clothes, by Dr. Peggy Rudd. Dr. Rudd, who also is the wife of a crossdresser, should be nominated for sainthood. Reading this book, which presents the bad with the good, helped saved my sanity and my marriage. I love my husband no matter what he wears - if he would only let me borrow that cute dress which is his/her favorite dress. Betty B.
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Format: Paperback
Although this book is directed mainly to the wives and significant others of crossdressers, it contains a lot of very good advice for the crossdresser as well. Dr. Rudd opens with her own struggle to accept crossdressing, sharing her formula for a happy marriage. She states, "Ours is a home where Melanie can be herself without fear of rejection, embarrassment or condemnation." She describes her concept of gender as a continuum and goes on to state that, "Crossdressers are probably ... permitting the evolution of their true identity, which is a blend of masculine and feminine traits," and that "crossdressing is love motivated."

The second paragraph on page twenty-seven, wherein Dr. Rudd's husband is sharing his story, sums up my feelings about crossdressing admirably. "To me being a crossdresser means that I can experience all the finer qualities of life that may not fit my life as a man. I enjoy being a loving person; I enjoy being like my mother and my wife. For me to give up crossdressing is out of the question. Why should I? I believe that my reasons for crossdressing are positive rather than negative. 1) I love beauty and enjoy being beautiful; 2) I want to become more like my mother and my wife; and 3) I feel a release from occupational pressures when dressed as a woman."

There are chapters on femininity, on dealing with parents and children, and a very powerful section for wives on how to make the marriage work. One chapter is entitled "The Effects of Suppressed Femininity". Having read it through several times it appears to me that she doesn't really tackle the issue. However, in the next chapter, one specific sentence seems to sum it up nicely; "Giving up part of the personality causes death also, but the death is slow and very painful.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As a crossdresser, I found this book to be very enlightening. I am fortunate to be dating a wonderful woman who I felt was open-minded enough for me to tell the truth and reveal my secret. As I had hoped, she accepted it and wanted to know more about it. I had heard about this book and together, we ordered it. I read it first and wrote some of my thoughts in the margins throughout the book...things that rang true with me, things I disagreed about, and my experiences with crossdressing. She is reading it now and is doing the same. We are planning on discussing it further once she finishes the book. We have already had several discussions and we both feel the situation is making us a closer couple as we share our thoughts. I feel this book has helped tremendously in me opening up to her and explaining things that I couldn't find the words for.
I will admit that the author does get a little rah rah here and there. And some of her generalizations bothered me...as a rule, I hate generalizations. Then again, I suppose hating all generalizations *IS* a generalization. Hmm. But overall, I highly recommend this book for crossdressers and their S/O. And I recommend that the two people share the reading experience together. It is quite an easy read and a good look into the thoughts of a crossdresser.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I was very pleased with this book. It was weird to read other people's experiences to be honest, but I found them to be very insightful and helpful. Not all of them mirrored my own experiences and thoughts, but it was nice to hear other "voices" in regards to this. The author has definitely spent some time researching this subject matter and has presented it in a clear and reader friendly way. It's easy to understand and she brings in a lot of other people to share their experiences which makes this book really great. A lot of books like this you just hear the author's perspective and thoughts. Although this is driven by her thoughts and her perceptions, she brings in others to tell you of their experiences on different parts of the cross dressing experience. If you or your loved one is either struggling, experimenting, thinking of, or engaging in this fun activity, then purchase this book. It will open your eyes to the possible pros and cons of cross dressing. There is a lot of information in this book, but I didn't feel I was bored or struggling to get through it. It was a simple and easy read packed with a lot of thoughtful and well organized information.
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