- File Size: 7413 KB
- Print Length: 355 pages
- Publisher: Hump and Circumstance Press; 2 edition (January 6, 2015)
- Publication Date: January 6, 2015
- Sold by: Amazon.com Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B00R07TZQ6
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #456,197 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
|Print List Price:||$15.99|
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My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory Kindle Edition
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I really could relate to most of the issues Cooper tackled. He offered his experiences in first hand accounts. He talked about the good and the bad. His admittance to feeling like a rock star, or some sort of genius for figuring out how to make an open relationship work, were very relate-able. Although his view is from the male persuasion, he is a very open minded individual. I am so glad he penned his experiences. It was very refreshing to see such honest sexual exploration being described so openly with loads of tact.
The only problems I had with this book, and they are minimal, is that a newbie may not be ready to tackle such subjects in the order they are delivered. Chapter two jumps right into the double standard, and I thought that should have come later. Maybe more gushing over the ups before we get down to it and talk about the problems. Some people will never be ready to hear that, and it may turn off readers. He comes across, at times, as preaching that his lifestyle is the best and that will not be well received. (although, I completely agree with Cooper on this, I know that some people won’t. Let’s not forget that the recent show Neighbors with Benefits was cancelled because it wasn’t selling, even though it was more about voyeurism then actually swinging. Sex always sells, people were scared. That’s all.)
This is not an erotic novel about Cooper’s conquests. It is more an open dialog about what it means for him to be open sexually. He also includes what he and his wife Marilyn get out of it. Even today some of his topics will be seen as taboo, but it is my hope (and indeed his) that more conversation and sharing of information could occur before judgement is passed. One in seventy Americans identify themselves as swingers, on average. That number is small in my experience compared to the reality I know. It has become common to be more sexually open. I loved this book for the open and the curious. When you are ready, it is there for you to find.
I learned some of my concerns about non-monogamy were well founded, and learned how Cooper dealt with them. I learned that someone else realizes life is a journey, that the worst thing we can do is stagnate. I learned all relationships take effort, there is no magic way to make things work out without effort. This one I already knew but it was good to hear it from someone else in different circumstances. Yes, much of what I learned involves some confirmation bias, but I also learned I can consider myself non-monogamous and live my life in a way to use that to help me have good experiences and be happy from time to time.
I had the feeling I was non-monogamous but felt there were only certain ways to deal with that part of me. I didn't seem to fit any of the labels I had been reading about. Based on Cooper's points in some of the essays, I'm not alone. I remember my father telling me no one lives long enough to make all the mistakes so learn from what others are willing to share. I have hopefully learned from the author's mistakes and successes and will now move forward experiencing my own.
He doesn't set himself up to be some kind of swing god, but as an experienced human. He doesn't say, "Don't do XYZ. It's a bad idea," but more like, "Don't do XYZ, because I did it once, and here's what happened..." He's spent years in the world of non-monogamy, learning from mistakes, gaining knowledge in success, and writing a whole lot of hilarious, true stories and serious essays on important matters. He talks about how to find people, body image, orgasms, jealousy, orgies, private dates, parties, STIs, sex toys, and safer sex practices, just to name a few of the many subjects he discusses. He goes over a lot of practical information, but does it with humor and charm.
The book is never boring. I had never been partway through a chapter and wonder how much more I had left. I always wanted more. Further, it's not just entertaining for people interested in ethical non-monogamy, but would be entertaining for everyone, regardless of relationship orientation. Even monogamous people can learn from his thoughts on body image, jealousy, and self confidence. And that's part of what makes this book so awesome: priceless for non-mon people, but great for *everyone.*