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My Miserable Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy Paperback – April 28, 2008
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
"Funny, sad, unblinkingly honest--I would give this one to any pregnant friend and a few who aren't."-Joyce Maynard author of At Home in the World, The Usual Rules and To Die For
"Andrea is the lesbian Annie Lamott. Her book makes me want not to donate sperm."-Taylor Negron, actor -- More Praise for Andrea Askowitz
"Hilarious and all too true. After my own miserable lesbian pregnancy, Andrea Askowitz's confessions cheered me up immeasurably."-Ariel Gore author of The Hip Mama Survival Guide
"Andrea Askowitz, is warm, funny and filthy"--Slate.com -- Praise for Andrea Askowitz
"This is one whiny, bitchy pregnant lady--and you can't help but love her. Askowitz is funny and fearless." -- Louise Sloan author of Knock Yourself Up: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom
"You don't have to be a miserable, lonely, pregnant lesbian to adore Andrea Askowitz's awfully funny story. Anyone who enjoys schadenfreude, laugh-out-loud asides, and frank depictions of biological horrors will love this wonderful book. You will read it dog-eared and quote the most outrageous parts at length to all your friends. An awfully funny story." -- Jennifer Traig author of Devil In the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood
From the Back Cover
Top Customer Reviews
I didn't find Ms. Askowitz endearing in any way. She came across as whiny and petulant, and I spent the whole time wishing she'd just shut up and quit complaining. As a lesbian, it's not like she became pregnant on accident. I know that pregnancy isn't always blue skies and perfection, but do I really need to hear someone b*tch about it for an entire novel? I'm actually upset with myself for finishing the book, since it didn't end any better than it began.
The one thing I'll give her is that she does admit that she's a pain and her attitude was poor at times. Even with those admittances, I still found her memoir disheartening and ugly.
When I bought this book, I read all the reviews saying it's a cheeky, cute, funny memoir and thought to myself that it would be a good read for me, a lesbian hoping to conceive a child soon. I was completely and totally wrong. My partner and I were both horrified by this novel. If you're looking for a nice, funny memoir about a lesbian pregnancy, THIS IS NOT IT. The title is less tongue-in-cheek than you might think. I considered re-selling it through Amazon, but I'm not even willing to put this book back into circulation!
But she's not happy. At all. She misses her girlfriend fiercely, and is still dealing with the harrowing death of her lifelong friend. Both of these events, the breakup and the loss of her friend, form the backdrop to the growing life inside of her. Yet they don't stop Askowitz from being scathingly hilarious, sparing no one, including her siblings, parents, extended family, friends, exes, coworkers and Lesbian Camping. When talking about how her ex-girlfriend Kate gained 40 pounds while they were together, Askowitz doesn't hide her revulsion, and upon being asked "Would you want my body?" Askowitz replies "No, but it's perfect on you." Askowitz then wonders, "Why couldn't I have said nothing, or changed the subject?" It might be tough to take if your its recipient, but as a reader, Askowitz has taken her best moments and turned them into something that readers can laugh at.
Oh, and she also rightly calls Sex and the City on a particularly self-loathing moment, which Amazon probably won't let me repost (it has the "p" word in it). Prepare for a lot of profanity. Prepare to sometimes get sick of Askowitz's whining. Prepare to laugh uproariously at very simple but moments, like her reflections on one of her potential sperm donors: "5599's brother was diagnosed and treated for obsessive-compulsive disorder at 21.Read more ›
It's hard to enjoy a book when you really dislike the person. It's a pity as its not a bad book. I've just rarely disliked an author more. So self absorbed & thoughtless. And just plain mean.
After breaking up with her girlfriend of five years, Askowitz decides to try pregnancy alone. She goes to the sperm bank, sifts through donors, falls in love with her OB/GYN, becomes deeply depressed, disses her brother, obsesses over everything that could go wrong, self-diagnoses non-existent cancer, gets "fat," learns what "doula" and a thousand other strange words mean, and ultimately gives birth to a child. Some of the fun along the way is certainly born of her self-absorption and misery and malcontentedness, but Askowitz is looking for witness as much as laughs. She imagines a party in which she invites her closest friends, insists they wear black and listen to her recite her top ten complaints about her life. "Thank you for coming," she writes. "Do not have fun."
Askowitz writes in a manner so immediate that the emotional surges, flashes of envy and of fury, and instant judgments as to people's worth are visceral. I didn't like those people Askowitz didn't like, and for those who complained about Askowitz's uncensored mouth, I stood by her in saying, Get used to it! I even winced when her nether parts ripped from stem to stern during birth.
A selection of some of Askowitz's choice humor:
* Days before Askowitz gives birth, "Nurse Jones ...Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I love this book. So funny. A really great read! It shipped so fast and was in great condition. Will buy from seller again.Published 13 months ago by Caitlin Loera
Very few books make me laugh out-loud, this one did. The author's style of writing is shameless, open and raw. You feel like you are truly being let into her life. Read morePublished on March 13, 2009 by Jade Blue
My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy is author, Andrea Askowitz's brutally honest memoir recounting the months she spent trying to get pregnant, actually pregnant, and as a new... Read morePublished on July 7, 2008 by Alexandra
I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more . . . Andrea's story was funny and very real -- everyone can identify with some aspect of this lonely, lesbian, pregnant (and very funny)... Read morePublished on June 30, 2008 by Dana Levine
Okay, so as a gay man I wasn't really interested in reading this book but a friend of mine insisted her and her friends thought it was hilarious and biting, which they seem to... Read morePublished on June 19, 2008 by B.A.W.
I loved this book. I felt like a voyeur, an experience that felt
both naughty and satisfying. I got to know Andrea Askowitz. Read more