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My Secret Bully Hardcover – April 1, 2005
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From School Library Journal
Rosalyn Pierini, San Luis Obispo City-County Library, CA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
“This . . . bibliotherapeutic offering tackles the difficult topic of bullying, . . . [L]ibraries may want to purchase it because of the scarcity of material on this very important issue.”
Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out:
“Too few resources are available to families dealing with girl bullying. MY SECRET BULLY provides an important resource to help parents.”
Dr. Kathy Masarie, founder and director of FULL ESTEEM AHEAD:
“A must-read for any child who has ever been teased, ignored, or excluded by his/her peers. . . . A very useful resource for addressing social cruelty among children.”
Theresa Markowitz, Ph.D., Clinical Psychology:
"...a desperately needed tool to help parents, techers, and other professionals address the growing epidemic of relational aggression (emotional bullying)."
Top Customer Reviews
Monica is devastated; she and Katie had been friends since they were in kindergarten. She cannot understand why Katie turned against her. She tells her mother about the problem, but the two are at a loss as to what to do. To Monica's mother's credit, she does not tell her to be nicer to Katie or blame her; I know from personal experience that when I was a tween that was the kind of atrocious advice I would have been given.
When Katie's insidious hostility becomes so aggressive, Monica suffers from tension and stomach pains. She dreads school. Naturally, this forces her hand into telling her mother about the problem. Monica is empowered once she learns her mother is an ally and not beguiled and duped by Other People's Children, as I always believed mine was. (I never understood why people who are blessed with children sing the praises of Other People's Children to their own.)
Monica's mother comes up with an excellent solution. She said to confront Katie using mental strategy; instead of stooping to retaliation, Monica might say, "Does it make you feel good to say mean things to me in front of other people?" and comments of that ilk. That way the bullying behavior would be on record and Monica could stand tall and walk away, knowing she'd called Katie on her behavior.
Sadly, such insidious nastiness is very common among girls. This is to date the best book I've come across in openly and intelligently dealing with this subject. I highly recommend it to all parents and educators.
When Monica's good friend Katie starts excluding her and begins whispering behind her back, Monica is faced with a painful situation. She and Katie used to be good friends but now, for some unknown reason, Katie's turned their friendship upside down and is choosing to purposefully hurt Monica through avoidance, teasing and ridicule. Why? Monica doesn't know and the exclusion is causing her to have stomachaches.
It isn't until Monica confides in her mother about the situation with Katie, that Monica is taught an important lesson: Friends don't hurt friends.
Through role-playing with her Mom, Monica learns to take proactive steps, such as using humor, to help diffuse Katie's bullying. Monica learns that her mother is always there to protect her and to share constructive advice when handling Katie's bully tactics. Most importantly, Monica learns that Katie's behavior is not her fault and she does not need to accept the poor treatment from her so-called friend.
As parents and teachers we can use My Secret Bully as a tool to talk to our children and students about the issue of bullying and address positive ways to diffuse the aggression.
As adults it is important that we step alongside the children in our lives, protecting them from bullies, and teaching them how to be good friends to one another while creating a more compassionate, kindhearted world to live in.
Armchair Interviews says: Highly recommended for parents to read with their children.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
It perfectly described relational bullying and helped my daughter understand what was going on at the playground.Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
The author subtly introduces effective strategies for parents and victims of mistreatment and demonstrates how they are applied in the story. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Joseph Beckham, Ph.D.
Its a great book for emotional bullying amongst 'so-called' friends. It high lights exclusion, and isolation which is bullying on a social level especially amongst girls.Published 3 months ago by Sucraj garcha
My Grand Kids didn't comment to me about the book after they got it for a present. Still waiting to hear.Published 3 months ago by Stormynite