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My Secret Garden Paperback – February 5, 2008
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My Secret Garden has the prurient appeal that made it one of the most passed-around books in high school study halls (it boasts chapters titled "Insatiability" and "The Thrill of the Forbidden"), but its premise, underneath the tales of lusty longings, is a serious one. Friday, also author of My Mother, My Self and Women on Top, is appalled at how parents, especially mothers, instill in their children a deep fear of sexual pleasure, and she advises how to do away with this stultifying force. While Friday can get a little histrionic at times ("Women's lust ... could bring down not only individuals, but society itself"), that doesn't make this book any less enthralling. --Erica Jorgensen --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Library Journal
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Top Customer Reviews
I am especially grateful to the women who commented on making the decision to share, or not share, their fantasies with their lovers. This was crucial for me. At a time when my thoughts were to be confessed on demand, I deprived my lover by depriving myself: those weren't fantasies, they were just random weird thoughts that made me uncomfortable. However, after getting out of a bad relationship and realizing that my mind was my own toy, I realized that I could explore those thoughts without fear of exposure to anyone but myself.
One I allowed myself my own secret garden, I found that I could share with myself and my current lovers in a way that previous ones had tried to coerce out of me. Living well is indeed the best revenge, and I thank Nancy Friday for her subversive assistence.
There are sections and chapters. Here's a listing of the section headings:
Introduction: Twenty-Five Years in the Garden
1. "Tell Me What You Are Thinking About," He Said
2. "Why Fantasize When You Have Me?"
3. The House of Fantasy
4. "Where Did A Nice Girl Like You Get An Idea Like That?"
5. Guilt and Fantasy, Or, "Why The Fig Leaf?"
6. Fantasy Accepted
7.Read more ›
Mind you, that was 10 years ago. I've re-purchased the book many times over, because I keep on losing it or giving it away. This book is a fantastic combination of the psychology behind women's sexual fantasies and the actual fantasies themselves. I'll be honest - I haven't masturbated to these fantasies in years.. although I did constantly when I was still a teen.
This book opened my eyes up to the 'taboo' of sexual fantasy, and helped me understand at a crucial time in my life that fantasy is healthy and a necessary part of anyone's life. I no longer have ANY sexual taboos.. and it's mostly because of this book.
I found this book to be sad, fascinating, and moderately terrible in roughly equal proportions. Some of the fantasies fell into the horrifying category, as one might expect, but so did some of the revelations made about the contributor's actual life experiences. The distinction between these categories was consistently defended throughout the work. What women would like to experience, what women think about but would not like in reality, and what they actually were doing each came up, and any overlapping was clearly mentioned. After all, Friday's stated intention to use her findings to help women realize that there is nothing wrong with them for fantasizing, even if the ideas are a bit more perverted. To think can cause action, but to think is not to act, after all. I have to say that some of the things they wished for, or experienced were quite saddening.Read more ›
I was very saddened by most of these fantasies. The sexual world of women in this book, in my opinion, came off shallow and unconcerned with their partners pleasure. The fantasies seemed to only exist to allow the women to bear through the unsatisfying sexual experiences with their men since time after time the women make it clear these fantasies are used during sex and were always of other men. The beautiful chapters in Men in Love where men talk of getting aroused from giving pleasure are absent from this book since the few times a woman is giving a man pleasure, she is being forced to.
While there is nothing wrong with these fantasies in general, putting so many of them in the book makes the book unbalanced. There are even several chapters dedicated to how a woman's sexual frustration can lead her to these fantasies! While I'm sure there are many sexual frustrated women, it made me sad that a woman's sexual world is put forth as simply a by-product of frustration, not a secret world that she loves, just like a man.
My main issue with this is that in the introduction, the author herself reveals a traumatizing experience where she told a lover about how she was fantasizing about another man as they had sex. He became upset and left.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This is an incredibly impactful book. It should be required reading.Published 13 days ago by Lenbert Shropshire
If "normal" women really have these fantasies, they are mentally-deranged. Which would explain a LOT, esp. why they're so easy to pick up. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Michael J. Maier
Merchandise as described, well packaged, prompt delivery - Thank you...Published 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
Honestly I am not sure if some the fantasies narrated in this book are wished for by the author, for, if they are real, these people are really sick and need medical attention. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Abba
It was not what I expected I didn't read this book and would not recommend it.Published 5 months ago by Terry Beaver