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David J. Ley

The Myth of Sex Addiction Paperback – July 10, 2014

by David J. Ley (Author)

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The media today is filled with powerful men in trouble for their sexual behaviors, and invariably, they are diagnosed as sexual addicts. Since Adam first hid his nakedness from God and pointed the finger at Eve, men have struggled to take responsibility for their sexuality. Over the past three decades, these behaviors have come to reflect not a moral failing, but instead, evidence of an ill-defined disease, that of “sexual addiction.” The concept of sexual addiction is a controversial one because it is based on questionable research and subjective moral judgments. Labeling these behaviors as sex addiction asserts a false, dangerous myth that undermines personal responsibility. Not only does this epidemic of sex addiction excuses mislabel male sexuality as dangerous and unhealthy, but it destroys our ability to hold people accountable for their behaviors. By labeling males as weak and powerless before the onslaught and churning tide of lust, we take away those things that men should live up to: personal responsibility; integrity; self-control; independence; accountability; self-motivation; honor; respect for self and others.

In The Myth of Sex Addiction, Ley presents the history and questionable science underlying this alleged disorder, exposing the moral and cultural judgments that are embedded in the concept, as well as the significant economic factors that drive the label of sex addiction in clinical practice and the popular media. Ley outlines how this label represents a social attack on many forms of sexuality—male sexuality in particular—as well as presenting the difficulty this label creates in holding people responsible for their sexual behaviors. Going against current assumptions and trends, Ley debunks the idea that sex addiction is real, or at least that it is as widespread as it appears to be. Instead, he suggests that the high-sex behaviors of some men is something that has been tacitly condoned for countless years and is only now labeled as a disorder as men are being held accountable to the same rules that have been applied to women. He suggests we should expect men to take responsibility for sexual choices, rather than supporting an approach that labels male sexual desire as a "demonic force" that must be resisted, feared, treated, and exorcised.

Print length

270 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Publication date

July 10, 2014
Dimensions

5.77 x 0.77 x 8.89 inches
ISBN-10

1442213051
ISBN-13

978-1442213050
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Ley, a clinical psychologist and director of a behavioral health clinic, examines the position that the diagnosis of sex addiction is heavily influenced by social norms and values and is not a legitimate medical condition. He shows how what is labeled sex addiction is based on culture's social norms and covers a multitude of mostly male behavior. The fact that this behavior may be in conflict with social norms does not mean the individual has a psychiatric condition. In addition, the author argues, telling people their behavior is uncontrollable is a self-fulfilling prophecy. In chapters with titles like "Gender and Libido" and "Ignored Aspects of Masculinity," Ley examines the range of male sexuality and how that range is different from that of females. When norms are set based on female behavior, normal male behavior can be construed as pathological. "The label of sex addiction," writes Ley, "undermines our efforts to enforce expectations of responsibility, holding ourselves, and especially men, responsible for their choices and actions." The writing style is personal and easy to follow, and the book is well referenced with frequent case histories to clarify points. Summing Up: Highly recommended. ― Choice Reviews

Sex addiction and its attendant diagnosed celebrities and reality TV shows may have been wholeheartedly embraced by the media, but this work of pop psychology takes issue with what clinical psychologist Ley (Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them) deems a dubious disorder. Here, Ley asks whether sexual addiction is really a bona fide ailment or merely a "culturally bound concept reflecting changing social views of sexuality rather than medicine or scientific research." Ley suggests that the label of "addiction" removes the issue of morality from the conversation, whereas in fact--whether we like it or not--he asserts that "sexual behaviors involve choice." However, Ley acknowledges the appeal of calling it an addiction, quoting an anonymous ex-spouse of a so-called sex addict, who affirmed that it would've been easier to cope with her husband's serial infidelity had it been the product of impulses literally beyond his control. Ley makes a thoughtful and persuasive argument, using case studies and ample references to the work of other psychologists to flesh out his case. While serving as an excellent resource on sex addiction, Ley's study also sheds light on the myriad cultural and sociological factors that influence relationships.
― Publishers Weekly

Ley has clearly thrown down the gauntlet, and hopefully the debate will continue. ― CNN

I cannot stress enough how important this book is, not just to the helping professionals but to the general public who get the read and hear (incessantly) about someone famous who is called a "sex addict"....If you are a teacher, therapist, or just a sexual person, I cannot encourage you enough to read this book. It contains an enormous amount of data, is well written, and has a great index and endnotes. ― Electronic Journal Of Human Sexuality

For anyone who has cringed once too often at the term “sex addiction”—or questioned the blanket use of “addiction” as an explanation for behavior that is really a matter of moral choice—Ley’s demolition of the bad science and worse reasoning behind the sex addiction industry will be refreshing. ― The Weekly Standard

Dr. David Ley raises crucial questions in his latest book—questions that demand serious consideration before we allow American society to drift even further toward declaring all pleasure potentially dangerous and pathological. Ley shows that the puritanism underlying our politics may also be distorting our medical sciences. This book is well informed, well argued, and well worth your time.

-- Christopher Ryan Ph.D, Co-author of Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

David Ley's book raises one important question after another about the nature of sexuality, the social phenomenon of "sex addiction," and the effects of our pathologizing so much of Americans' sexual feelings and behavior. -- Marty Klein

This book’s exploration of the available science will fascinate any reader. Beyond observing that there is no credible body of evidence to support the notion of sexual addiction, David Ley describes many historical problems in attempting to define it.... Ley’s writing style is highly accessible and entertaining. The structure and layout are excellent. He is meticulous in providing citations for his assertions, often preferring direct quotes to summaries. ― ATSA Fourm

About the Author

David J. Ley is a clinical psychologist in practice in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He provides clinical and consultative services in numerous other states. Dr. Ley currently serves as Executive Director of a large outpatient behavioral health agency in Albuquerque and maintains a current caseload of clients. He is the author of Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them (Rowman & Littlefield, 2009).

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Rowman & Littlefield Publishers; Reprint edition (July 10, 2014)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 270 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1442213051
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1442213050
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.77 x 0.77 x 8.89 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #726,183 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #294 in Sexual Health Recovery
- #596 in Medical Psychology of Sexuality
- #901 in Psychology & Counseling Books on Sexuality

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4.5 91 ratings

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David J. Ley Ph.D.

Dr. David Ley is a clinical psychologist in practice in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Dr Ley earned his Bachelor's degree in Philosophy from Ole Miss, and his Master's and Doctoral degrees in clinical psychology from the University of New Mexico. Dr. Ley provides clinical and consultative services in numerous states and has provided consultation and media interviews around the world.

Dr. Ley currently serves as Executive Director of a large community behavioral health agency in Albuquerque. Dr. Ley has been treating sexuality issues throughout his career. He first began treating perpetrators and victims of sexual abuse, but began to expand his approach to include the fostering and promotion of healthy sexuality, and awareness of the wide range of normative sexual behaviors. Insatiable Wives was his first book and won a Silver Medal in the Foreword Magazine Book of the Year contest for 2009. His second book, The Myth of Sex Addiction, triggered a firestorm of controversy nationwide, and has led to a growing movement against the pseudoscience and moralizing of the sex addiction industry. Ethical Porn for Dicks, A Man's Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure, is Dr. Ley's third book. It was written in an accessible, generally-available manner, to assist men in informing themselves about porn use, and is meant to combat the modern fear-based porn-panic.

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Donald F. Sullivan TN Technologies

A Testimonial Not A Review

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 17, 2013

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I was going to write a review for Dr. David Ley's new book, The Myth Of Sex Addictions, and then I realized that what I really wanted to write was more of a testimonial, but there was no category listed for that. So maybe I can combine the two in such a way that my intentions will be clear to you.

Ley's book was one of maybe three books which I have read, that I can say without any reservation, had a transformational effect on my life. The other two were AA's Big Book and Self-Defeating Behaviors, by by Milton Cudney and Robert Hardy (Jan. 1993).

I have been fighting what I called maladaptive sexual behavior for over sixty years. I am currently seventy-two years old. I stopped drinking and using illegal drugs in 1986 and conquered a three and a half pack a day cigarette habit in 1987 so I am familiar with how difficult it can be to overcome self-defeating behavior.

Ley addresses three key points in the debate about sex addictions. His first point is that there is no clinical or hard science that supports the addictive nature of the sexual function in human beings. Secondly, he shows how normal sexuality varies greatly and is related to many social, physical and genetic factors and is expressed much differently by gender.

I was especially impressed by Chap Two of the book that delineates the difference between true addictions, alcoholism or other drugs, and behaviors that may be thought of as addictive, sex, food, gambling, shopping ad nauseam.

Throughout the book Dr. Ley uses case study examples to illustrate how male sexuality is and has always been different from female sexuality for reasons that are related to both physical factors and Darwinian evolutionary forces. Which leads to his conclusion that the concept of sex addiction is really more of an attempt to impose a set of values on society that are driven by religious and or feminine ideals than science and, which are in conflict with the true nature of male sexuality.

In the final chapter of the book Dr. Ley does a great job of showing how the sex therapy treatment industry and the mass media have colluded to try and foist the idea of sex addiction on the public and how dangerous this is to both the individual suffering from some of these behavior problems and society as a whole.

I stated that I meant this review to be more of a testimonial to the book and a comment on the transformative experience reading it was for me. I find it difficult to put the reasons for this experience into words. I mentioned some of the parts that I found remarkable, but for me reading it was more of a holistic experience rather than an educational process.

Ley's style is a bit formal and probably would be better in a text book, but he presents his information in a clear and concise matter. This is not a self-help book and if you are looking for that you will have to go to the sex addiction bunch of 12 stepping people that he mentions and decries.

In summary, I would strongly recommend The Myth Of Sex Addiction to both those who have experienced the needless pain, shame and guilt that can accompany a diagnosis of sex addiction and for those who wish to better understand how this diagnosis has gained such currency in todays world.

18 people found this helpful

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David DN

Great book!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 21, 2012

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Thank you Dr. Ley for writing this book. I have to admit that you are mostly preaching to the choir in my case as I've always been a little skeptical of many so-called addictions that seem to go in and out of fashion. This book, focusing on sex addiction, is clear, concise, and much needed.

There is an awful lot here, and I would hope that everyone who presumes to treat or even discuss sex addiction will take the time to read this. (I note that as of late Oct 2012 there are two negative reviews of this book, and both reviews seem to have been written by people who did not read the book. It's always a huge red flag for me when critics get angry and cannot even read or listen to the opposing viewpoint--it almost always indicates that their position is fatally flawed.)

As a substance addict who has lived clean and sober for several decades I take alcoholism and addiction very seriously. The trend of applying the addict label to almost any habitual behavior has long needed some serious examination.

One of the things Dr. Ley talks about in several places is the modern emphasis on powerlessness over addictive behavior. His discussion of this topic clarified a lot for me, partly reinforcing what I've suspected for quite some time. I learned early on in my own recovery that things would go better if I first and foremost understood that I was powerless over certain substances and could not drink or take them. In addition it was pointed out to me that I needed to get a clearer view of the world outside of myself and a better understanding of what I could control and what I could not control if I wanted to live comfortably in that real world as a clean and sober person. It seems to me that over the years the very concept of powerlessness in our culture has taken on a sick and mythical aspect that goes far beyond what is useful and has instead become a crippling notion, a robbing or an abdication of personal responsibility. The very idea that a person is powerless over a behavior (as opposed to an external substance or an external event) runs counter to any possible recovery or change, whether one is trying to break a bad habit, recover from an addiction, or whatever.

There is much more in this book than I can begin to discuss in detail, including Dr. Ley's frank and refreshing discussion of male sexuality. Again, please do read the book, whatever your preconceptions may be.

11 people found this helpful

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Musicals Fan

A really helpful and informative book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on June 27, 2019

Verified Purchase

I really enjoyed reading this book. The author skillfully presents facts and is very careful to allow the research to speak for itself. The book helped me to question my beliefs - as a therapist would I consider a client to be a sex addict if they were having more sex than me? I hope I didn't think that (although I might have felt envious of the client's sex life!). I liked how the author helped me to process my values connected around sex. I have marked a number of the pages as I shall be using the text in my client work.

Anonymous

An excellent, helpful read.

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on March 30, 2017

Verified Purchase

After being unfaithful to my wife, I sought help and was referred to a highly recommended sex and relationship therapist by my doctor. He quickly diagnosed me as a sex addict - within the first 20 minutes of the session. This had a dual effect, one good, one bad. First, it helped my wife come to understand that what I did had nothing to do with her - very important as it was completely true. Second, it made me feel like a pervert, a freak, and literally sick in the head. I was recommended a book - Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes. After reading it, the depression I was already in sank to an even lower level. It made me question every sexual thought I'd ever had and wonder if I would ever be able to live a life that didn't involve fighting thoughts that I had never thought as harmful or wrong before. It made me sick to my stomach and scared as hell. I didn't even want my wife to read the book as it made me feel like I could sit down with a rapist and a paedophile and have a lot in common. If my wife were to read it, I feared she'd think she was living with a barely contained monster.

I had already heard of Dr. Ley's book and had purposely held off on reading it. My fear was that I was trying to search for things to confirm my own beliefs - that I had done a bad thing, but the only moral failing was the deceit. After reading the book, it was hard not to see the enormous logical holes in the sex addiction argument. Dr. Ley's book is extremely well written and uses logic, objectivity and evidence to show that the addiction phenomenon (even beyond sex addiction) is a case of moralizing and social control run amok.

Lest anyone think that the book is excusing the behaviours of those currently labelled sex addicts - not even close - removing the addiction label places the blame securely on the perpetrator of the actions - me. I did it, I was wrong - it wasn't an illness. I chose wrong, but that doesn't mean was powerless or incapable of chosing right.

Before I was halfway through the book, my depression had lifted. I wasn't a freak and I didn't have to live in fear of my own mind and sexuality. I can now begin to work to understand myself more fully and how to move forward from my mistakes, rebuilding trust, enhancing honesty, and creating a healthy and mutually fulfilling sex life with my spouse.

3 people found this helpful

Susanne

Anyone that is denying his /her sexual addiction will like this book.

Reviewed in Germany 🇩🇪 on June 14, 2014

Verified Purchase

This book basically tells you why sex addiction is not real and something that organizations like churches use to say sex is bad!
I disagree with the author totally and it really feels like this is a good book for people that want to proof to themselves or others that they don't have a problem in their sexuality because sex addiction according to the author is a myth and not a real disease!

So if you are trying to find a book to feel better because you want to proof that you don't have a sex addiction or to others that this disease does not even exist you'll like this book.
If you truly want to get out of your addiction buy a good book that actually is talking about the roots and causes and also the ways out of a sex addiction.

2 people found this helpful

Book Addict

This did not help me to be helpful to people

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on February 18, 2015

Verified Purchase

The author is coming from a contrarian viewpoint, but I did not entirely understand his thesis. I think he just likes to knock things. Sure it's debatable what is an addiction and what is not an addiction, and a lot of people excuse their lack of morals as defined by societal norms play the "addiction" card when they get caught with their pants down. But sexual compulsions (like gambling) destroy families, marriages, health, individuals. (Maybe I've just said what the author took a book to say.)

2 people found this helpful

Savvy Shopper

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on April 12, 2016

Verified Purchase

A solid study of this area. Interesting book, worth reading.

2 people found this helpful

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