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7 Myths of Working Mothers: Why Children and (Most) Careers Just Don't Mix Hardcover – December 23, 2008
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About the Author
SUZANNE VENKER is a former middle school English teacher. A writer and full-time mother, she lives in St. Louis.
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Top Customer Reviews
I also enjoyed Maternal Desire and several attachment parenting books (Attached at the Heart and Beyond the Sling) - even though I don't 100% practice AP - if you are looking for other recommendations related to this issue.
Do I feel like full time child care hurt us? Well, we survived. But as a small child I HATED IT. The days were very long. There was a lot to do at the "day school"...but there was a lot of anxiety too. At 3 years old there always is a fear that your parents won't come back.
So I agree with the authors premise. But I really wanted more meat. A sample of 2 (my brother and I) from a family in crisis does not constitute a good study. (For the record, I'm very successful, my brother is languishing). I wanted to know how young is too young, and how much is too much.
Another weak point of this book is that the author repeats a few times how its so terrible that women have so many choices today. Sometimes she gets very nostalgic for the days when women had only a few career options because then they had less to loose. And sometimes it seems like she's saying it would be so much better if we didn't get out into the workforce before having kids because we're seduced by the materialism and the glamour of it.
Well...as a professional woman in her early 30's who is hopefully going to have a child in the next year or so I'm so glad I've had the last 10 years to build a nest egg, to find a man I want to spend my life with, and to advance to the point where I'm making $55/hour. (If you're going to work part-time, its nice to have a well paying part-time gigg)
I think by going from having it all to motherhood and making very little if anything (depending on if I work part time or not at all) my life will be a lot richer than if I'd just stay the professional course. If I give it all up I can then be more devoted to my children...thats really having it all, and I feel very lucky.
I am also very concerned with how children are being raised in this day in age, especially women. Women are being raised with a "Corporate" mentality and raised to hold onto their careers for dear life as it will be the only way to protect themselves from THE SUM OF ALL FEARS(nasty divorces, abusive relationships, etc). Raising daughters this way will prevent them from shaping their priorities around starting a family and makes it harder for them to embrace unexpected motherhood. Any husband in this day in age, has a fight of his life coming for him if he marries a woman like this. Telling women that going into the workforce will complete them and give them a since of purpose is a ridiculous as it gets. Men work to support their families, but you'd be hard pressed to find men that claim that their joy in life is working 10-12 hrs a day and being away from their family, missing all the developments that take place.
Society paints full time mothers in the same light as a person with a 7th grade education, and thats not right. Regardless of what role you play in the family, both spouses are the reason for the success of the family and the career(s) as they both make it possible for everything to get accomplished. In society today, full time mothers are looked upon as people who have no profitable talent, and im sure that alot of husbands harass full time mothers, using their financial responsibilities as leverage.
Where this mentality hurts women is that it creates a divide b/w men and women and really stifles the support for raising children and family roles. No longer will the children have a parent at home to raise them, someone else will. In the end, children will suffer the most, the party that doesnt have a means to voice their opinion. Our society no longer values the sacrifices that raising a family demands.
I think the root of the problem is extreme feminist propaganda and husbands that have taken their full time parent spouses for granted. Due to both factors, society has undervalued (a complete understatement) the importance of part-time/full time motherhood, and women today are forcing themselves to reject the characteristics within their biological nature.