- Hardcover: 272 pages
- Publisher: Touchstone (September 22, 2015)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1476785686
- ISBN-13: 978-1476785684
- Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 74 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #701,309 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me Age Hardcover – September 22, 2015
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"A guide for understanding our own narcissism and for figuring out the roles these people can play in our lives. Clear, easily digestible pop psychology." (Kirkus)
“Joseph Burgo helps us recognize the variety of ways narcissism can look. By unveiling the early pain and trauma behind these extreme defenses, he not only gives us a way to make sense of these vexing and often cruel behaviors but to feel some compassion for those who, out of desperation, resort to them. A clear and useful guide to navigating the Extreme Narcissists in your life.” (Jasmin Lee Cori, MS, LPC author of The Emotionally Absent Mother and Healing From Trauma)
“A terrific book! Dr. Burgo has written an extremely readable and clear exploration of Extreme Narcissists. He presents effective strategies for protecting your emotional well-being and your self-worth from their bewildering and often destructive behavior. I highly recommend this timely and important book.” (Susan Forward, PhD author of Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can’t Love)
“Dr. Burgo explores the many faces of narcissistic personality, among the least studied and understood of psychiatric conditions. In layman’s language he describes various sub types of narcissism, venturing past the usual stereotypes of unsympathetic and unlikable grandiosity. Dr. Burgo presents guidance in dealing with 'the narcissist you know.'” (Jerold J. Kreisman, MD co-author of I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality)
"Engaging and spot on! Joseph Burgo explains the many faces of Extreme Narcissism and what you need to know to stay out of trouble.” (Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW author of Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism)
“Aninteresting and insightful book on a problem that confuses and frustratesalmost everyone: narcissists and narcissistic personality disorder. As theworld catches on to the importance of dealing with narcissists effectively,this book will be one of the primers. It describes a wide range of theirdysfunctional dynamics, as well as revealing many of their childhood traumas. Dr.Burgo has provided an important blend of wariness and empathy -- both fornarcissists and for those who know them all too well.” (Bill Eddy co-author of It's All Your Fault at Work: Managing Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People)
"A smart, fresh, andinvaluable guide to the types of narcissists and their behaviors, as wellas life- and soul-saving advice on how to deal with them or fend themoff." (Peg Streep author of Mean Mothers)
"Freshinsight into the troubling narcissism epidemic, providing us with signs to helpus recognize and disarm ‘the narcissist we know.’ A fascinating, timely bookby a leading expert who offers a real guide to dealing with self-absorbedindividuals in our 'all-about-me' culture. Highly recommended!" (Michele Borba, PhD author of UnSelfie)
"Just when we had girded ourselves against the sociopath next door, Burgo alerts us to the narcissist across the street. What a neighborhood!" (The New York Times Book Review)
"Many of us hear the word 'narcissist' and automatically think about a self-absorbed person who constantly talks about himself—and yes, that's a very irritating (but small) part of it. ... It can be very difficult to know if he's simply charming because he's into you (normal),or he's charming because he's into you being into him (narcissist). ... Nobody wants that, so here's how to spot narcissists out there in the dating wild." (Glamour)
About the Author
Joseph Burgo, PhD, has practiced psychotherapy for more than thirty years and held licenses as a marriage and family therapist and clinical psychologist. He earned his undergraduate degree in English Literature at UCLA and both his masters and doctorate in Psychology at California Graduate Institute in Los Angeles. Dr. Burgo has been quoted or featured as an expert on NPR and in publications such as USA TODAY, Glamour, The New York Times, and numerous other publications. As a writer on mental health topics, he is a regular contributor to The Atlantic and a frequent blogger for Psychology Today.
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So my long-lost son called me that night. We talked for about 45 minutes. He never said the word "narcissist". But he did call me evil. That's the second time one of my children has said that to me.
So after the phone call, I opened this book. After about 10 minutes of reading, I could not find my son anywhere in the book. I saw myself. So I am doing the painful work of recognizing how I have managed to destroy my relationships with my three children. I am burning with shame as use this book as a mirror. I trust God, and I know that he can take this away from me, but I think it's too late to repair the years of abuse that I have heaped on my children. They will never let me get close to them again. I'm glad I found this book now. I have time to make better choices about how I behave, how I react to perceived slights and injuries. Many thanks to the author.
I truly loved this book and it would be helpful for everyone to read because in all likelihood you will encounter a narcissist in your lifetime and instead of being baffled and confused as I was, you will know how to engage and what to expect. Highly recommend!