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Navigating the Land of If: Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options Paperback – May 5, 2009
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"Solutions [covered in Navigating the Land of If] range from having fertility treatment, using donor gametes, surrogacy, adoption and living child-free. The "IF" in the title of the book not only is connected to the online definition for infertility, but also refers to the notion that there are so many ifs involved in the problem, [Ford] writes in her book. There are what ifs and if onlys and if this, then thats. …Being here is all about living in uncertainty and doubt and wonder and hope… "
Top Customer Reviews
However -- the shadow of infertility & loss continue to hover over my life, which is why, even after all these years, I continue to read books, articles & blogs about it -- including Mel's blog, Stirrup Queens, which I love. She is a great support for those of us in the ALI (adoption, loss & infertility) community, and so I was keen to read her book.
Even though I found some sections more interesting/applicable than others (as I'm sure most readers did, or will), I loved the book, and I wish it had been around when I was going through treatment. Most infertility guides that I've read tend to be a tad clinical. Not this book. The tone is that of a slightly older/wiser girlfriend who'd already been there/done that and is filling you in on what to expect when you're NOT expecting and trying to do something about it.
It's a book I would definitely recommend to anyone going through infertility. It would also be fabulous to read if you're a fertile person hoping to gain some insight into what a friend or family member is going through and how you can best support them.
Because my husband & I wound up living without children, I was particularly interested in what Melissa would have to say on the subject, and went straight for the chapter on childfree living first.Read more ›
The pluses- it is a handy overview if you're new to the world of infertility, better for those who have trouble getting pregnant than those who struggle to stay pregnant.
The minuses- Her advice about generally trying not to worry when you do get pregnant is at best insensitive for those with RM. And also inaccurate. If you've had 3 miscarriages, and you're over 30, - your chances of another miscarriage are pretty high. She also repeats some irritating misinformation commonly thrown around in the popular press. There is nothing magic about age 35 where fertility suddenly drops off and risk of downs syndrome spikes. Its a steady change over time.
While these issues may seem petty, i'd posit they are no more petty than a number of the issues she is very sensitive and thorough about.
A big thank you to the ultimate Stirrup Queen!
The pregnancy stuff now at the end is comforting to me as well and so were the recalls of Melissa's experiences. I always felt Uunsung Lullabies was missing that... a personal touch that helped you know the writers had been there with you. I also really liked the snarky aspect. It makes you feel like you weren't alone in some of those bitter feelings and shows that even someone as kind and inclusive as Melissa has been has had them. In short, it validates, and that's all any of us want. Well done.
It covered places other books may not have, such as conversations and when people give unwanted advice (Which as anyone might know, can be rather unpleasant all around.) I liked the three levels on reply she offers up, and examples for each.
While other's advice may be unwanted, her advice was quite sound. I'd definitely recommend this to others.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I'll keep it short, but I needed this book. I'm so appreciative that the author wrote it. She hit the nail on the head: infertility is a whole different world and it's impossible... Read morePublished on January 19, 2012 by The Rekindled Reader
This book would have been very helpful at the beginning of the infertility journey. Not for people that have already sot help with an AWESOME RE or done an IVF cyclePublished on July 12, 2011 by kangirl
There were times when it felt like this book was written specifically for me! Even though I know that's crazy because my situation is unique, just like all of the people that will... Read morePublished on August 26, 2010 by Donna
I really enjoyed this book. It was very helpful and articulated a lot of difficult feelings about 'infertility' that are hard to explain often.. Read morePublished on March 23, 2010 by A. General
I have read enough books to have a decent grasp on what is involved in the various treatments offered for fertility. Read morePublished on February 15, 2010 by Ska Fan
I've not experienced infertility issues myself, but I'm a reader of Melissa Ford's blog and really enjoy her honest and earthy writing style. Read morePublished on January 27, 2010 by House Reader
I just finished this book, and I LOVED it. Its real. Like, its not some fancy medical journal, written by someone who has never experienced infertility. Read morePublished on January 7, 2010 by Sarah
Firstly I haven't read this book from front to back, only because some things don't relate to our IF journey, but I have read parts that have been relevant to me and our procedures... Read morePublished on August 10, 2009 by Vee
This was the best book on this topic that I have ever read. I really enjoyed it and want to buy it for everyone I know. Read morePublished on July 30, 2009 by Jennifer Gabriel