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Needing To Fall Kindle Edition
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"Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress"
Is the world really falling apart? Is the ideal of progress obsolete? Cognitive scientist and public intellectual Steven Pinker urges us to step back from the gory headlines and prophecies of doom, and instead, follow the data: In seventy-five jaw-dropping graphs, Pinker shows that life, health, prosperity, safety, peace, knowledge, and happiness are on the rise. Learn more
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The way the story begins.... I was so over the place. I wanted to cry and rant, and scream. It was just the few pages in the story and I already felt all of it. And much much more.
It was so emotional story. Reaching tender aspects of life. Of pain. Of torment. Of brokenness. Of choices. Of giving up or fighting to your last strength. But fighting for what? To continue living with the pain? With the hole in your soul, that you just know there is no way to heal? Every person you meet let you down. They always leaving you bleeding on the floor, without looking back. There's no happiness. There's no hope.
What I just said is just touching tip of the iceberg. The things heroine, Reign, gone through and still living with... I cried with her, I hurt with her, I bleed with her. I was there, when she hit rock bottom. I felt every little emotion she was through.
You had to know I never was in any way related with a person, who has depression, PTSD or other. So, when I'm reading something deep as this story, I always am... Thorn? On one way I feel the pain of the character with every step they take. On the other thought, it's seems so easy to fight for your happiness. Right? Wrong? Or maybe there isn't right or wrong in this situation. No matter how you look at it, no matter what you think, you would do in this situation, you would never know, until you are there to make the decision. But let's hope, that never comes to it.
I honestly can say, I was disappointed in Reign. Maybe disappointed isn't the right word. It just, when I was taking every step with her I felt beaten. It made me for the first time in my life to understand just a little, how helpless person can feel. You wanna stretch out your heand to help. But you can't. All you can do is just sit and watch a train wreck to happen.
Also at the same time I felt so proud of Reign. She was beaten. She was crushed. But she still struggled to stand up and live. It may be not the life you think she or human to should have, but it was something. Something not to give up completely.
And she was lucky. Reign may through her life meet the worst of the human kind, but she also meet someone special. It may be just one person at the beginning. But it's enough for just one person to catch you, when you need to fall.
There is characters that will make your skin to crawl. And there is character that will outweigh the bad ones. They will make you smile and impress you, with they endless support. And it makes you wish there will be more of them in real life. Because let's face the fact those kind of people is like a rare diamond.
One of those people was Lynx. Oh, man. That man stole my heart. And I don't want it back. He can keep it. Because I know it's in the safe hand. You will love him. You will worship him.
I don't know what more I could say. Whatever I would mention, it wouldn't be enough. It's one of those moments, when you need to personally experience it, to fully understand the emotions behind this bittersweet story.
This story is not your traditional love story. It touches on fears, doubts, and self worth in a way that will leave you so raw from the emotional toll.
Reign is a girl that just hasn't had the best life has to offer. When she reaches rock bottom, her friend is there to force her hand. Not given a choice, she must fight the demons from within to overpower them and come out winning. I think if you haven't been in the shoes of her before, that this paints an accurate picture as to what she is feeling on the inside. So much is in her head, but that's true, when you are depressed, PTSD, suicidal it is in your head. Showing that side was brilliant. It may seem chaotic or mundane to some but it paint the picture that some may want to say just snap out of it, but it's not that simple.
Lynx - Well isn't he just a hunk and a half. Didn't expect him to come in to this story, but the way he did it brought some light into Reign.
I really wasn't sure how this would end. I struggled with the thought that there would be a hindered codependency between them but Ryan made it flow and work. It was great to see some old faves from her MC series make an appearance.
There is serious subject matter covered and may be triggers for some people but if you have ever dealt with depression, contemplated suicide or know anyone that has this book will touch something deep down inside of you. "For once, it was under my control. This was the one tool I could use to make everything stop, to make everything go away, to make me go away. It was the answer to the end the pain."
There comes a time when you either need to make the pain go away or ask for help and Reign was dealt a life where she felt alone and that no one would help her. "I was drowning in darkness and losing what little I thought of myself." The flashbacks, dreams and memories are so vivid that you feel like you are there with Reign.
"I needed it all to end. I wanted to disappear, vanish, leave this life, not feel anything anymore, make everything whirling in my head stop and quiet. I needed to fall."
Reign met Lynx when she was in therapy and was diagnosed with PTSD. "So how I feel is I'm in a big, black void of thick, sticky tar. I've always been in it, unable to get above the surface as it keep pulling me in." Reign starts learning that she can take control of her life and that knowledge in her situation is power.
"Happiness isn't something you've had much of, but its out there, and you need to find it, hold on to it, and embrace it. Don't turn or push it away."
Reign and Lynx's story is one that is not "conventional" on it's face but it is real, it is genuine and it is one that will blossom and grow into something beautiful. "Babe, you'll be just fine. I'm not gonna let you fall."