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2.0 out of 5 starsA lot of regret - mine, for selecting this
ByCarol T.on January 4, 2016
The minute I read the first sentence of this book from the Prologue, I regretted selecting it.
Let me share the first sentence (yes, this is ONE sentence):
"As the rest of the guests wandered the deck of the beach club under an early-evening midsummer sky, taking pinched, appraising sips of their cocktails to gauge if the bartenders were using the top-shelf stuff and balancing tiny crab cakes on paper napkins while saying appropriate things about how they'd really lucked out with the weather because the humidity would be back tomorrow, or murmuring inappropriate things about the bride's snug satin dress, wondering if the spilling cleavage was due to poor tailoring or poor taste (a look as their own daughters might say) or an unexpected weight gain, winking and making tired jokes about exchanging toasters for diapers, Leo Plumb left his cousin's wedding with one of the waitresses."
First let me say that very rarely do I NOT finish a book but this book merited not finishing. While the story is somewhat predictable and cliché (just read the first sentence), it would not have been so bad if the writing had been better. All tell, no show, which I find maddening. And overwritten to the point where I wanted to claw my eyes out every time I turned a page. I can't believe all of the high ratings for this book, and surely, I can expect to receive a lot of down-voting from folks who are voting on my opposing opinion rather than the quality of my review, but this book was so awful, I'll take the heat.
In a nutshell, the book follows the events that occur after Leo "left his cousin's wedding with one of the waitresses" (see above) and in an inebriated state and receiving a service from the waitress, crashes his car, leaving the poor waitress footless. Thanks to this accident, their father's estate, poised for distribution when the youngest Plumb sibling turns 40 is redirected in order to deal with Leo's indiscretions, legal bills and to make the now footless waitress disappear from their lives.
Now that the four Plumb siblings have lost their inheritance or nest egg (aka "The Nest"), all of their shady goings on have nowhere to hide.
Leo, the oldest is a disgusting pig, a user of people, sucking them dry for his own personal needs. Next in line is Jack, a gay antique shop owner (really?) with a country house. I guess I'm just a little tired of seeing gay people portrayed in the same cliché businesses over and over and over so that annoyed me. Newsflash: Gay people work in all professions, not just antiquing. Oh and he has a lot of financial issues too.
Next cliché sibling is Bea, a wanna-be writer who can't get over lost love, because all creative people hold torches for their lost loves (Dante? Beatrice? Really?). Now she's too sad to move on.
Melody, the last of the Plump siblings was the most realistic of the four, trying to raise twin daughters and manage her expensive dream house in Connecticut. At least this portrayal is representative of the many people living outside of their means. But...
I closed the book forever on the first page of chapter 22, when I read the first few sentences:
"When Matilda was recovering in the hospital and found out how much money she was getting from the Plumb family, she had all kinds of fantasies about what to do with it. (Shamefully, she remembered that her first involuntary thought was a pair of suede boots she'd coveted, the ones that went over the knee and stopped midthigh, then she remembered.) She thought about the trips and clothes and cars and flat screen televisions. She thought about buying her sister her own beauty salon, which she'd always wanted. She thought about buying her mother a divorce."
I just didn't buy it.
That was it for me. Hours of my life I can no longer retrieve.
By the way, I selected this because Amy Poehler states (on the cover, no less): "Intoxicating... I couldn't stop reading or caring about the juicy and dysfunctional Plumb family." I think she meant to say. "I wanted to get intoxicated so that I could stop reading about the jerky and dysfunctional Plumb family."