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Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time Hardcover – Laser printed, February 22, 2005

by Keith Ferrazzi (Author), Tahl Raz (Author)

615 customer reviews

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There is a newer edition of this item:

Never Eat Alone, Expanded and Updated: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time

Never Eat Alone, Expanded and Updated: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time
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Do you want to get ahead in life?

Climb the ladder to personal success?

The secret, master networker Keith Ferrazzi claims, is in reaching out to other people. As Ferrazzi discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships—so that everyone wins.

In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi lays out the specific steps—and inner mindset—he uses to reach out to connect with the thousands of colleagues, friends, and associates on his Rolodex, people he has helped and who have helped him.

The son of a small-town steelworker and a cleaning lady, Ferrazzi first used his remarkable ability to connect with others to pave the way to a scholarship at Yale, a Harvard MBA, and several top executive posts. Not yet out of his thirties, he developed a network of relationships that stretched from Washington’s corridors of power to Hollywood’s A-list, leading to him being named one of Crain’s 40 Under 40 and selected as a Global Leader for Tomorrow by the Davos World Economic Forum.

Ferrazzi's form of connecting to the world around him is based on generosity, helping friends connect with other friends. Ferrazzi distinguishes genuine relationship-building from the crude, desperate glad-handling usually associated with “networking.” He then distills his system of reaching out to people into practical, proven principles. Among them:

Don’t keep score: It’s never simply about getting what you want. It’s about getting what you want and making sure that the people who are important to you get what they want, too.

“Ping” constantly: The Ins and Outs of reaching out to those in your circle of contacts all the time—not just when you need something.

Never eat alone: The dynamics of status are the same whether you’re working at a corporation or attending a society event— “invisibility” is a fate worse than failure.

In the course of the book, Ferrazzi outlines the timeless strategies shared by the world’s most connected individuals, from Katherine Graham to Bill Clinton, Vernon Jordan to the Dalai Lama.

Chock full of specific advice on handling rejection, getting past gatekeepers, becoming a “conference commando,” and more, Never Eat Alone is destined to take its place alongside How to Win Friends and Influence People as an inspirational classic.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The youngest partner in Deloitte Consulting's history and founder of the consulting company Ferrazzi Greenlight, the author quickly aims in this useful volume to distinguish his networking techniques from generic handshakes and business cards tossed like confetti. At conferences, Ferrazzi practices what he calls the "deep bump" - a "fast and meaningful" slice of intimacy that reveals his uniqueness to interlocutors and quickly forges the kind of emotional connection through which trust, and lots of business, can soon follow. That bump distinguishes this book from so many others that stress networking; writing with Fortune Small Business editor Raz, Ferrazzi creates a real relationship with readers. Ferrazzi may overstate his case somewhat when he says, "People who instinctively establish a strong network of relationships have always created great businesses," but his clear and well-articulated steps for getting access, getting close and staying close make for a substantial leg up. Each of 31 short chapters highlights a specific technique or concept, from "Warming the Cold Call" and "Managing the Gatekeeper" to following up, making small talk, "pinging" (or sending "quick, casual" greetings) and defining oneself to the point where one's missives become "the e-mail you always read because of who it's from." In addition to variations on the theme of hard work, Ferrazzi offers counterintuitive perspectives that ring true: "vulnerability... is one of the most underappreciated assets in business today"; "too many people confuse secrecy with importance." No one will confuse this book with its competitors.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Ferrazzi grew up in rural Pennsylvania, the son of a steelworker and a cleaning lady, yet his ability to connect with others led to a scholarship at Yale, a Harvard MBA, and a prestigious partnership at Deloitte Consulting. His skills at creating and maintaining a network of contacts are nothing short of those of a serious presidential contender. All business hopefuls seek to enter a sphere of players more powerful than themselves, and Ferrazzi says that sometimes all it takes is asking. The book is dense with suggestions. Seek out mentors to guide you and introduce you to the people you need to know and then become a mentor yourself. Use your initial conversation to show the other person what you have to offer them, and never keep score. Make others feel important by remembering their names and birthdays. And don't be afraid to open up and show vulnerability--it's a great icebreaker. Ferrazzi presents a whirlwind of ideas to widen your circle of contacts that goes way beyond the usual stale concepts of "networking." David Siegfried
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product details

Hardcover: 309 pages
Publisher: Crown Business; 1 edition (February 22, 2005)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0385512058
ISBN-13: 978-0385512053
Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 0.9 x 9.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 615 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #91,627 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #502 in Books > Business & Money > Job Hunting & Careers > Guides
- #587 in Books > Business & Money > Skills > Communications
- #978 in Books > Business & Money > Business Culture > Motivation & Self-Improvement

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Christine Kenney

Caveat Networker

March 12, 2005

Format: Hardcover

It seems like much of the efficacy of Ferrazzi's tactics lies in blurring the distinction between the personal and the professional connections. Not even church-going remains sacred.

At what point does a close-knit network become more invaluable than acquaintanceships struck during in-flight snackbreaks? Are 500 people willing to answer your calls (after the umpteenth time you've attempted to ambush them on the phone during their off hours) really an asset? Readers should keep in mind that one will not be able to fool all of the people all of the time with false pretenses of friendship. Ferrazzi's work would be more effective if he differentiated between intensities of friendship and the tactics most appropriate for each.

Further difficulties include:
-Networking Plan of Action (unfortunately acronymed NAP) includes scarcely a page of information about how to construct one.
-The arguments are often internally inconsistent: receiving an invitation to a 15 min coffee break is an affront, while sending one tops the personal arsenal list. Katharine Graham is eulogized as a champion of both "somebodies" and "nobodies." Yet Ferrazzi's lists of "people he'd like to meet" and his incessant extolling of the virtues of name-dropping seems to indicate "nobodies" are nobodies in his book. Finally, the distinction between a "networking jerk" and commendable behavior is, at best, subtle.
-For an individual so concerned with connectedness, it is curious that a bibliography or appendix of suggested reading is entirely absent.

May I suggest:
*How to Win Friends and Influence People: soft skills development
*Big Fish (a novel of "mythic proportions" by Daniel Wallace): a more sympathetic view on spin, for contemplating your own self-marketing plan or why Ferrazzi really left Deloitte.
*The Tipping Point: Chapter 2 is a more rigorous exploration of the roles the uber-connected play in social networks.

821 people found this helpful

Comment

Hardly "revolutionary"

December 29, 2005

Format: Audio CD

The book isn't that bad, but it isnt worth buying with so many other masters out there writing about how to get it done. Here's what's wrong....

First, it's billed as "revolutionary" concepts which I found to hardly be true. Almost evey idea was something that I've read in a Covey, Mackay, Peters, etc book. Recycled.

Further, he's so proud of his accomplishments it becomes exhausting to keep up with all the great things KF did in his life.

Finally, he writes often about how he was from poor, underprivileged family and he had nothing but his "revolutionary" concepts to break him into The Club. I believe it at first, until he started (and then repeated) to tell the reader about how he went to a private elementary and HS, then to Yale and Harvard BS. He was IN the club from first grade - hardly a life course that demonstrated how unique and terrific his practices were.

342 people found this helpful

Comment

Come out of your shell and network already

July 17, 2014

Format: Hardcover

The rise in social networking tools like Facebook and LinkedIn have made it very easy for individuals to make contact with others in their field. Many people, however, are still reluctant to reach out on anything other than a superficial level to others, especially those who might hold a higher position than they do. In the book Never Eat Alone, author Keith Ferrazzi stresses the importance of creating a large network of people who can help and be helped by you. By having contacts across many different areas, he argues that you will be creating opportunities for generosity which will ultimately benefit you in ways that might not at first be apparent.

The book begins with attempting to overcome the reluctance to reach out that many people have. The author mentions many times that he offered to help people newly starting out in their fields with job interviews, introductions or internships, only to be rebuffed because the recipients of his generosity didn't want to feel indebted to him. He goes on to stress the importance of creating connections precisely so that you will be able to help those who need it when you seen an opportunity to do so -- without "keeping score." Although he does also frequently mention how he "keeps up" with how young people he's helped are doing in their careers . . .

Once you have accepted that you need to increase your personal and/or professional network, strategies are offered that will help achieve this. He advises how to "do your homework" to make connections as well as keep a list of "aspirational names" of business leaders that you hope to meet one day. He also gives advice on how to make the dreaded "cold call" to make connections and how to get around gatekeepers that are employed precisely to protect their bosses from people like us! This new edition of the book has also been updated to include information on how to network, market yourself and gain followers on the newer social platforms.

One thing I found amusing was the chapter titled, "Never Give in to Hubris," because on nearly every page there is reference to the awards the author's been given, the celebrities he's worked with, the many young people who are clamoring for his knowledge, and generally how important he is. It felt like a lot of bragging and name-dropping and honestly took away from the message of the book. He should re-read his anti-hubris chapter before the next edition comes out! If you can overlook all the self-congratulation, there are some good messages to take from the book about building connections and helping yourself by helping others.

Disclaimer: I received this book for free from Blogging for Books for this review.

35 people found this helpful

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