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Katie Heaney

Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date Paperback – January 14, 2014

by Katie Heaney (Author)

3.8 328 ratings

Goodreads Choice Award nominee

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A hilarious, quirky, and unflinchingly honest memoir about one young woman's life-long (and totally unsuccessful) search for love.

"I've been single for my entire life. Not one boyfriend. Not one short-term dating situation. Not one person with whom I regularly hung out and kissed on the face."

So begins Katie Heaney's memoir of her years spent looking for love, but never quite finding it. By age 25, equipped with a college degree, a load of friends, and a happy family life, she still has never had a boyfriend...and she's barely even been on a second date.

Throughout this laugh-out-loud funny book, you will meet Katie's loyal group of girlfriends, including flirtatious and outgoing Rylee, the wild child to Katie's shrinking violet, as well as a whole roster of Katie's ill-fated crushes. And you will get to know Katie herself -- a smart, modern heroine relaying truths about everything from the subtleties of a Facebook message exchange to the fact that "Everybody who works in a coffee shop is at least a little bit hot."

Funny, relatable, and inspiring, this is a memoir for anyone who has ever struggled to find love, but has also had a lot of fun in the process.

Print length

272 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Grand Central Publishing
Publication date

January 14, 2014
Dimensions

5.25 x 0.75 x 8 inches
ISBN-10

9781455544677
ISBN-13

978-1455544677
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Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

The title of Heaney’s wry memoir could have readers believing she’s lived the life of a nun. Hardly. At 25, she has, in fact, had plenty of engaging encounters with the opposite sex, just no serious, long-term relationships. When it comes to courtship, Heaney laments that she is not a “lighthouse,” a luminous being who easily attracts others. Her lovely and slightly wild gal pal, Rylee, on the other hand, possesses maximum wattage, racking up scores of romantic attachments (Heaney calls her the “Babe Ruth of daters”). Heaney is a tall, attractive brunette, and there is nothing wrong with her libido; case in point, her caffeinated crush on a Starbucks barista. Heaney even survives a slightly frightening foray into online dating, describing her time logging on for love at matchup site OKCupid as tantamount to a free zoo. “There are some cute animals there that you can look at without paying a dime,” she writes, “but spending too much time there is just going to make you sad.” --Allison Block

Review

"Reading Never Have I Ever is a bit like reliving your most awkward moments -- but in the best way, because this time, the cringeworthy moments are happening to someone else. Anyone who's ever swooned over a boy whose name she didn't even know or overanalyzed a text message from a crush will see herself in Katie Heaney. You'll relate to her frustrations and admire her confidence, and probably wish she was your best friend."―Rachel Bertsche, New York Times bestselling author of MWF SEEKING BFF

"Katie Heaney is so hilariously fun to read that you may not notice right away how insightful she is about friendship, romance, and the essential weirdness of human relationships."―Emily Gould, author of And The Heart Says Whatever

"I challenge any reader to not feel like one of Katie Heaney's closest girlfriends as she examines, in the most charming, honest, original and amusing way imaginable, how she's managed to never have a date. But don't let the breezy language or topic fool you-this is also a brilliant examination of what it means to be a friend, a girl and a human being. The first guy to take Heaney out will be very lucky; in the meantime, we her readers are the lucky ones."―Anna David, New York Times bestselling author of Party Girl and Falling For Me

"No one has ever captured the angst and frustration of crushes as perfectly and humorously as Katie Heaney. Anyone who has ever fallen in love with a cute stranger on a train, on the street, in class, or at work, will instantly identify with it, and laugh and cringe along with her dating misadventures. But what is most admirable and impressive about this book is how unflinchingly Katie is able to examine herself. As hilariously cutting as she is when describing the male objects of her desire, she's also self-deprecating and introspective. And the book manages to point towards another (oft overlooked) great love in a woman's life: that of her friends."―Chiara Atik, Author of Modern Dating: A Field Guide.

Astute and tremendously witty, Never Have I Ever chronicles the romantic travails (well, almost romantic) of the very funny Katie Heaney. At some points, I actually got tears in my eyes from laughing too hard―Rebecca Harrington, author of Penelope

"Katie's writing is hilarious, and warm, and thoughtful, and reading this book is like having a little version of her to hang out with. What's that, Miniature Paper Katie? You don't like the bath??"―Edith Zimmerman, founder of TheHairpin.com

"Every twentysomething woman will relate to at least one of the disastrous attempts at courtship in this memoir. And then she'll want to buy copies for all of her girlfriends so they can discuss it over a few glasses (bottles?) of wine at book club."―Library Journal

"Katie's prose illustrates her life events by letting the voice in her head reveal all. Everything that ever crossed your mind while you were with your friends and crushes will echo back to you as you read about moments like a messy kiss with Eric or the feeling of helplessness when finding out that a friend of the opposite sex likes you and you just are not ready for that kind of information."―HelloGiggles

"Never Have I Ever is a strikingly profound and brilliant memoir that presents on-point observations about growing up, friendship and the confusing world of dating. Katie writes with such ease and skill that it's hard not to become completely wrapped up in her many relatable adventures. Her wit and intelligence effortlessly place her amongst today's great writers, and readers will be left thinking, "Finally, someone gets it." If you're a fan of Mindy Kaling, the New Adult genre or are simply looking for your next great read, Never Have I Ever is the book for you."―RT Book Reviews

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 1455544671
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Grand Central Publishing; First Edition (January 14, 2014)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9781455544677
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1455544677
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.7 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.25 x 0.75 x 8 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,620,533 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2,959 in Humor Essays (Books)
- #16,673 in Women's Biographies
- #46,394 in Memoirs (Books)

Customer Reviews:
3.8 328 ratings

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Katie Heaney

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Katie Heaney is the author of the memoirs Never Have I Ever and Would You Rather?, as well as the novels Dear Emma and Public Relations. Her YA debut, Girl Crushed, was published in April 2020. A senior writer at The Cut, her writing has also appeared in the New York Times, Cosmopolitan, and The Atlantic among other places. She lives in Brooklyn.

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3.8 out of 5

328 global ratings

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Emilie A.

Just okay

Reviewed in the United States on July 26, 2014

Verified Purchase

This book is about a 25-year-old single who has never been in a relationship. She goes on a few dates during the course of the book, makes out with some guys, but it never progresses beyond that.

I did find myself being increasingly frustrated as the book progressed. She ends by sort of asserting that she is not willing to spend time dating someone (even a second date) unless they are "the one". She hints that others who do so are wasting their time. But this author is very candid about her total lack of skills when it comes to dating, flirting and relationships. Going on second and third dates is HOW you obtain those skills. I am not suggesting you string anyone along, but dating a variety of men, in a variety of social situations, repeatedly, is how I came to hone those skills of flirting, dating and understanding the opposite sex. Those skills are not just used while dating, but carry over into long-term relationships and marriage (if that's the route you end up taking).

It is a fairly interesting read, but very, very, rambling. I like a conversational style (especially when one is transitioning from Blogger to Author), but it went a bit too far here. Overall I liked it, but I wouldn't jump to recommend it to a friend.

3 people found this helpful

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Lauren Guzman

funny...

Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2014

Verified Purchase

I mostly really liked this book. The growing up parts were really relatable and Katie has a mouth on her like I think we'd be friends. I guess my review is only partial... Like her story. I felt towards the end, her attitude was a little immature. But then I remember she's 25. As Wendy Williams says, "dumb 25." So she can't really be blamed for her immaturity due to her obvious lack of some life experiences aka having a boyfriend. But I did find the chapter about being secretly but not so secretly happy her friend was single again kind of annoying. But I do hope to read a follow up book by her... Hopefully about her getting married someday. Not that everyone needs to get married but I would be sad for her if her next book was still about her lack of prospects. I'm rooting for her! I like her voice and her tone and look forward to reading more from her in the future.

Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2017

Verified Purchase

I have to admit when I first read what this book was about I was nervous to read it. How is one not even to have a 2nd date by the time they’re 25? And who is ballsy enough to admit it? I thought I’d just be reading about some painfully socially awkward person, the kind that makes me uncomfortable with their very presence.

But Katie is funny AF. I enjoyed her brand of humor. If you like other lady memoirs (Kaling, Poehler etc) you’ll enjoy this. After a while, I almost forgot I questioned the premise in the first place.

SPOILER ALERT:

I also appreciated that she didn’t have a nice happy ending. Actually I would have loved if she had a happy ending but I like that she’s OK being single and that her publishers didn’t force her to tie everything up in a bow.

3 people found this helpful

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Marline

LOVED IT!

Reviewed in the United States on July 10, 2014

Verified Purchase

Katie, has a way of making you feel like you are talking to your best friend. She definitely touched on some subjects in dating that we have all been through and it is nice to see a girl own up to them. She is super relatable and if you can't relate to her you'll definitely be able to relate to one of her friends, it was hilarious reading about all her celebrity crushes as I think we all do the same thing we just don't admit it; she just makes the reader feel like it's ok to be silly and who cares if you're single. What I most took out of the book is that it's ok to not be ok with "fine", we can be picky being alone is better than being with a jerk. Favorite quote from the book "Falling in love is totally unimaginable to me. I think maybe the best things often are."

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Nene123

Every Girl Should Read this

Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2017

Verified Purchase

I wasn't expecting to relate to this book as much as I did. She was hilarious and I felt like so many times while reading, I was thinking "ME too!" lol I started this book after a breakup and kinda stopped once I got into another relationship. It sat on the shelf for a bit and when that situation fizzled I picked the book back up and finished reading. It was almost like I never stopped. And I love how it ended. (SPOILER COMING UP) The fact that she was ok with being single was just the kind of ending I needed to read. I am single now and just about at the point of accepting it. There is a freedom that I now dance in. Thanks Katie !

3 people found this helpful

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Jan C.

Laughing for days, can't stop smiling

Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2017

Verified Purchase

Fantastic!! Never stopped smiling throughout the entire READ. The author has a sense of humor that is darn near identical to mine. I see myself in pretty much every scenario an it's fantastic! Sometimes, it's just what you need for someone else to tell you about your own life and listen to their advice. I am confident that whatever is supposed to happen will happen in my life, but for now it's always a good reminder to live each day to the fullest. Enjoy where you are now, don't kill yourself thinking about the place you want to be someday; chill, all in good time. Thanks Katie!!

2 people found this helpful

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garli

Skip this one

Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2014

Verified Purchase

The author tries really hard to be clever on ever page and nails it at least 3 different times. Basically to cut to the chase, she's seen way too many Nicholas Sparks movies. She clearly wants to not be single (or at least claims that) but doesn't want to take any emotional risks.

If I could talk to her I'd tell her the following.

1. The reason people date when there's not an instant spark is that some times it's awkward meeting new people and you want to see if they get less awkward with time.
2. If you think you can skip bad relationships by not dating in your early 20's you are incorrect. They're either gonna be bad or good depending on the people.
3. No one's gonna see you from across the room and want to kiss you in the rain. It's not because you're not pretty and you don't deserve that it's because life isn't a movie.

36 people found this helpful

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PeterC

The second reading helped

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 17, 2014

Verified Purchase

After receiving my copy of this book a lot sooner than Amazon predicted, a hard copy as I couldn't get the Kindle version on amazon.co.uk, I sat down with a beer and a bag of jelly beans. The next thing I knew I had consumed several more beers, two more bags of jelly beans and finished the book. Given the alcohol and sugar induced haze I read the last few chapters in I resolved to re-read the book. I wasn't disappointed.
I doubt I am the intended demographic for this book but, I found it witty, well written and charming. As a man I could identify with some parts whilst, in others I marvelled at the insight into the female perspective of dating, similar to men's experiences but with little attempt to mask it through false machismo. I personally am as neurotic as a shaved weasel when it comes to dating.
It also, without really stating it, confirmed some of the worst parts of our society. The social norms we accept and aspire to, no matter how sexist or outdated they may be, especially when it comes to relationships.
These of course are my opinions. Read the book and make your own mind up.

9 people found this helpful

PerfectStorm

It's Okaaaay

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 5, 2014

Verified Purchase

Bit long winded and rambly, not what I thought it was going to be. I know she is talking about her life, but it doesn't have a conventional story line, or straight forward narrative. She hops around from one place to another, which gets irritating. Not a book that will grip you at all.

One person found this helpful

SushiGIrl

Never Have I Ever (Is Worth It)

Reviewed in Canada on February 4, 2014

Verified Purchase

I read this book after breaking up with my boyfriend, looking for someone to commiserate with on singledom, and what I found was a lot of hilarity and wisdom. I laughed out loud every chapter. It was lovely to read a book about a girl who is single and okay with it (despite her embarrassing life episodes).

J.Aubin

I really enjoyed this book

Reviewed in Canada on March 29, 2016

Verified Purchase

I really enjoyed this book! I read it in 2 days, an easy and entertaining book! I will be lending it to my sisters who I know will enjoy it too

HM

Not what I was expecting

Reviewed in Canada on March 13, 2014

Verified Purchase

She swears in the book, and she talks about getting drunk and high. And she did have a boyfriend, so the whole premise is a bit loose. I appreciated her honesty, but it was not my kind of a book…

3 people found this helpful

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Buy new: $7.91$7.91 FREE delivery: Monday, Aug 14 Payment Secure transaction Ships from Marlton Books Sold by Marlton Books Returns Eligible for Return, Refund or Replacement within 30 days of receipt

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