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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Hardcover – May 17, 2016
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Chatty and friendly and packed with helpful resources, this is an intriguing approach to business and personal negotiations. (Publishers Weekly)
From the Back Cover
A field-tested, game-changing approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.
Never Split the Difference is a riveting, indispensable handbook of negotiation principles culled and perfected from Chris Voss’s remarkable career as a hostage negotiator and later as an award-winning teacher in the world’s most prestigious business schools. From policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, to becoming the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator to teaching negotiation at leading universities, Voss has tested these techniques across the full spectrum of human endeavor and proved their effectiveness. Those who have benefited from these techniques include business clients generating millions in additional profits, MBA students getting better jobs, and even parents dealing with their kids.
Never Split the Difference provides a gripping, behind-the-scenes recounting of dramatic scenarios from the gang-infested streets of Haiti to a Brooklyn bank robbery gone horribly wrong, revealing the negotiation strategies that helped Voss and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. As a world-class negotiator, Voss shows you how to use these skills in the workplace and in every other realm of your life.
Life is a series of negotiations: whether buying a car, getting a better raise, buying a home, renegotiating rent, or deliberating with your partner, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.
Advance praise for Never Split The Difference
“This book blew my mind. It’s a riveting read, full of instantly actionable advice—not just for high-stakes negotiations, but also for handling everyday conflicts at work and at home.”—Adam Grant, Wharton Professor and New York Times bestselling author of originals and give and take
“Emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence without sacrificing deal-making power. From the pen of a former hostage negotiator—someone who couldn’t take no for an answer—which makes it fascinating reading. But it’s also eminently practical. In these pages, you will find the techniques for getting the deal you want.”—Daniel H. Pink, bestselling author of To Sell Is Human and Drive
“Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss has few equals when it comes to high-stakes negotiations. Whether for your business or your personal life, his techniques work.”—Joe Navarro, FBI Special Agent (Ret.) and author of the international bestseller What Every Body Is Saying
“Your business—basically your entire life—comes down to your performance in crucial conversations, and these tools will give you the edge you need. . . .It’s required reading for my employees because I use the lessons in this book every single day, and I want them to, too.”—Jason McCarthy, CEO of GORUCK
- Item Weight : 1 pounds
- Hardcover : 288 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0062407805
- ISBN-13 : 978-0062407801
- Dimensions : 1.3 x 6.3 x 9.1 inches
- Publisher : Harper Business; 1st edition (May 17, 2016)
- Language: : English
- Best Sellers Rank: #718 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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My rating: This is one of the two best books anyone can read on negotiation. The other is Cialdini's famous, "Influence: The Art and Science of Persuasion." While there are many good books on the subject, I can't think of any others that are as complete and useful as these.
Advice: Remember that negotiation is a practice. You will be best aided by these books by taking a chapter at a time and practice the ideas and techniques. Practice them on your family, on your colleagues and on your friends. (Forget pets. Dogs are too obliging and cats too indifferent.)
For example, I caddy for my 9 year old son who has been playing golf since the age of 5. We have had this really bad dynamic during his games; especially when he gets tired. Chris Voss's book showed me different approaches that helped me address my son's anxiety and his emotional response to my "helping him". On Monday my son played his best game yet. He said after the game that he "felt determined" and I could tell how confident he had become. I owe this change in our relationship to this book.
At the same time, I made a recent change in career choice and my wife was really concerned. Chris's empathy approach really helped me to sit down and chat with her about what I was pretty sure her fears were. We ended up talking for several hours and the end result was that she has faith in my decision and trusts my judgment; because she now understands my point of view.
This is a great book with direct application to day-to-day interactions with other people -- including your family. It helps you sift through the conflicts and tensions and figure out better solutions that result in better outcomes for you.
On the academic side, I think this book should be essential reading in any negotiation class. Toss out win-win and analytical approaches and pick up on the emotions and drama of negotiations. Once you do that, all parties will end up happier -- because you will have validated their emotions and in the process will not have discounted your own.
You would fire the teacher.
This is my least favorite genre of book - the bait and switch non fiction. Expert promises to share expertise with you, then writes a book that is 90% autobiography and 10% useful, actionable information.
I've purchased both the paperback and audiobook so I can listen to during my daily comute.
My first impression after finishing the book is that I wished it was better.
I didnt feel very impressed by the content, nor do I feel more empowered to jump into a negotiation
more equipped with tools that will enable me to get a better deal.
I felt that sometimes the author (even though Michael Cramer's voice being completely fine) comes across as too
full of himself, and seems to be self aggrandizing, perhaps trying to implicitly pitch services from his black swan
company. Perhaps this is due to his assertive personality, as he states in the book.
I've found that he uses non-convincing cases and too simplistic and shallow examples and techniques, IMO.
Also, he says that his "hostage negotiations" style works "every time" and is at least just as good
and in many times superior to the best business negotiations tactics around.
I have doubts believing that. I know there are probably many similarities between the two approaches,
but there are also many differences which could either make or break a deal.
To name a few differences, during hostages negotiations you have the leverage of being the only
one who can provide what the kidnapper wants (typically a ransom and a means of escaping/avoiding
getting caught/punished) while in business you usually dont have this kind of leverage, specially if
you are the seller. Also, in a hostage situation you typically want to have 100% of your needs fulfilled
while the kidnappers gain 0%. Also, you can (and usually have to) lie to the kidnapper that you will
fulfill your part of the deal, and in the end you will get away with it because you are on the side of the law.
In business, if you resort to a lie and do not deliver what you've promised, you can (and will) get sue'd and face
reputation damage. Im sure there are many other differences.
Those examples above and many more throughout the book combine to lower
the credibility of the material, IMO.
But hey, maybe it's me... As I told before, Im just a beginner in the negotiations arena, so I cannot tell for sure
whether the techniques in the book will work or not for me. I'll have to try them in the real world.
And if they do work, I'll come back here and happily update my review.
For now, I have to be honest with my beginner impressions.
Overall this is a book that focuses only on the psychology of negotiation/persuasion, in other words,
it deals only with the tip of the iceberg. It is an important topic, but negotiation is way more than that.
It is a multi-faceted discipline that encompasses psychology of persuasion, diplomacy, planning, strategy,
emotional inteligence, business skills among many others.
And it's funny that so many reviewers seem to think that Mr. Voss invented empathy. Really? He didn't of course, and his take on empathy is highly questionable. Empathy to be effective needs to be real and sincere, not a tactic or something created by taking a "magic" phrase out of a book. Many people, or at least those without serious personal insecurities, will see right through fake empathy as the manipulation that it is, and it will backfire badly.
Top reviews from other countries
The summaries at the back of each chapter are good, the rest id filler.
I got halfway through the book and I thought, "I wish this were over, Please make it stop."
Fortunately I did stick it out to the end, and there was some better stuff.
This book is one of a pulp western trend. Every Navy Seal seems to have a book and/or consulting company. God bless em, but enough of the war stories already.