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The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation Kindle Edition
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The New Codependency is one of the best ones. It has all the usual qualities of her work:
*She uses an empowering tone: of course you can make it. And to be honest, when she describes her life of a former junkie, you cannot help thinking: well, if she managed to get out of this mess, Surely I can get out of mine.
*Her book is packed with examples. The fact of the matter is, I can see problems and solutions so much more easily when I read about someone else. Examples allow me to do that.
*There is a lot of practical, down to earth advice. I cannot count the number of books I've read which describe my dreadful problems, but then leave me there with a vague "well I guess you need therapy" chapter. I hate it. Don't talk to me about my issues if you are not able to offer one hint of advice on how to solve them.
In The New Codependency, Melody Beattie tackles important concepts she wrote about before (boundaries, taking care of oneself, deprivation, control...), but with a higher level of maturity . Because she does not go back to the basics, I would advise not to read this book without reading first her earlier work. If you have, then it provides additional hindsight and a wiser point of view.
There are also new ideas. She insists to de-stigmatize codependency, explaining that it is just "normal behaviours, plus", that it is just a stage of grief - and I must say I find this new idea really interesting. There is a chapter about nurturing that I liked - she did not write about it earlier because she did not know what it was. And there is a whole section about emotions that I found really useful - I am one of these folks who have difficulties simply feeling.
Beattie is effective because she has "been there" and has compassion for those of us who are still there. I am struggling my way through the book and am learning new things everyday.
This book is similar to Bill W's "AA Comes of Age" in that it introduces recovery to a new generation of people. Codependent behaviors can occur anywhere and there is a process of beginning to love myself by getting rid of those behaviors and reactions. I feel that Beatty knows this process and she makes it accessible to anyone who desires change. Highly recommended
I did like the quizzes; although, wondered on what data the author used to base her ranges.
Still a fan, so intend to read the book on grief and any articles published.