- Paperback: 230 pages
- Publisher: Revell; 3 edition (February 1, 2001)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0800756800
- ISBN-13: 978-0800756802
- Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
- Average Customer Review: 10 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #414,486 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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The New Hide or Seek: Building Confidence in Your Child Paperback – February 1, 2001
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"A warm book of rare understanding with much practical material for solving family problems of insecurity." -- L.A. Times
From the Back Cover
Our children are in the midst of a crisis of confidence! From the moment they enter the world, children are subjected to a value system that reserves respect and esteem for only a select few. Those who fail to measure up to society's standards--primarily in the areas of beauty and intelligence--must learn to cope with feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Over the past twenty-five years, more than a million parents and teachers have benefited from Dr. James Dobson's insightful counsel in the classic Hide or Seek. Now revised and updated, The New Hide or Seek provides a new generation of parents with practical pointers for raising self-confident, healthy children. Dr. Dobson also offers specific instruction on how to: Ž build confidence from infancy onward Ž protect children from the pain of inferiority Ž compensate for ridicule and unfair value judgments Ž teach children to respect themselves and others Ž shape the will without breaking the spirit Ž avoid overprotection and dependency Ž maximize educational potential Each strategy is followed by an informative question-and-answer section discussing common problems that occur in the lives of children. The New Hide or Seek culminates in a discussion of the values parents should seek to impart to their kids. These values will give children the courage to seek their best rather than hide in fear. "A warm book of rare understanding with much practical material for solving family problems of insecurity." --L.A. Times "Dobson is specific in his advice . . . and balances the spiritual and psychological sides of the problem. " --Christianity Today
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Dobson is quite controversial in many of his beliefs, and I am okay with that. It's not about his beliefs here so much as it is me wanting to be a better parent. If you want to know what Dobson believes, then this book is for you, but if you want to really build confidence in your children, I do not reccomend it - and I don't say this lightly. I hate giving a bad review.
I happen to have a copy of both the original Hide or Seek: Self-Esteem for the Child--A Compelling Approach for Parents and Teachers from 1974, and the Hide or Seek: How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Child, Expanded and Updated from 1979. The basic text in the two is the same. The only differences are that the revised edition has a new preface and also an epilogue that contains two further strategies. In that epilogue, Dobson does draw an important distinction between Biblical pride, which he defines as an arrogant self-sufficiency leading us to violate the two most basic commandment of Jesus about loving God and our neighbor, and true self-esteem which is self-respect or self-confidence, and even warns "that the quest for self-esteem can take us in the direction of unacceptable pride."
He concludes, "Hide or Seek does not reflect the philosophy of Me-ism. I have not suggested that children be taught arrogance and self-sufficiency or that they be lured into selfishness. (That will occur without any encouragement from parents.) My purpose has been to help mothers and fathers preserve an inner physical and mental and spiritual health." While Dobson clearly bases his suggestions on Biblical principles and even points out the benefits of following God's ways, which I appreciate, he does not come across as "too preachy," so that even those who are not strong believers should be able to find useful information in the book. Young parents will especially benefit from it, but I think that anyone will find it helpful in developing a proper positive attitude towards self. The newest edition, The New Hide or Seek: Building Confidence in Your Child was published in 2001.
My girls are grown up now with children of their own, and I have told them that there are two books from the plethora that is out there that I consider essential reading. One is Hide or Seek, and the other is, Strong WIlled Child. Worth every penny.