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The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity Paperback – January 2, 2013
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“Infidelity doesn’t have to be the end of the road, even though it often feels that way. Couples can, and do, often find their way to an ultimately deeper, more intimate bond, and I can think of no better guide to lead the journey than Tammy Nelson.”
―Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First
“The New Monogamy takes an honest look at infidelity and illustrates a clear path toward healing after an affair.”
―John Gray, PhD, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
“The New Monogamy sets Tammy Nelson apart from many other therapists. She doesn’t believe affairs simply involve a pathetic victim and an arrogant perpetrator―and that’s why she can actually help couples navigate this difficult challenge.”
―Marty Klein, PhD, author of Sexual Intelligence
“Provocative and juicy, far-reaching and intelligent.”
―Janis Abrahms Spring, author of After the Affair and How Can I Forgive You?
“This book is a game changer for couples dealing with the aftermath of an affair. It is unique in offering hope that this experience can be used to build a new and better relationship. But it offers far more than just hope; it provides detailed guidelines for how to make it happen. Tammy Nelson is a visionary in going beyond the immediate need to develop a new monogamy agreement to include the all-important process of revisiting and revising this agreement over time.”
―Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth and host of www.dearpeggy.com
“Tammy Nelson is a master therapist who can help you find hope and opportunity in the multiple crises caused by an affair. The New Monogamy offers safe, effective steps through the confusion, betrayal, and hurt―with guidelines for how you can create more honest, erotic, and soul-satisfying relationships.”
―Gina Ogden, PhD, LMFT, author of The Return of Desire and The Heart & Soul of Sex
“At a time when life can feel so murky and chaotic, along comes Tammy Nelson with this guidebook…. The New Monogamy is as crisp and clear as it is hopeful and realistic. A book to open again and again.”
―Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity
About the Author
Tammy Nelson, PhD, is a world-renowned expert in relationships, a psychotherapist in private practice, and a popular lecturer around the world on sexuality and human relationships and global relational change. She is a board-certified sexologist, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, a licensed professional counselor, and a certified Imago relationship therapist. She resides in the New York City area, where she works in her private practice treating couples who are looking to restore passion to their relationships, recover from infidelity, and create their new monogamy, one agreement at a time.
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I recommend it as a self-help aid for couples who experience infidelity. In addition, I put this book on a very short list of essential books for use in training couples therapists to help their clients deal with the aftermath of infidelity.
Up until now, the main book I have recommended to couples after an affair—and which I still recommend—has been Janis Abrams Spring’s After the Affair. Both Dr. Spring's and Dr; Nelsons books are excellent. They complement one another. However, Dr. Nelson’s exudes a compassion, and emphasizes a mutuality in the healing process that I find lacking in Dr. Spring’s approach. Janis Abrams Spring’s concept of “earned forgiveness” is a great contribution to the couples therapy field and she deserves to be recognized and praised for it. However, Dr. Spring, emphasizes the resulting polarity-- victim and victimizer—that often becomes entrenched after an affair as a central condition of the healing process. Dr. Nelson does not ignore this polarity but her approach emphasizes compassion, empathy and validation in the healing process. Dr. Nelson’s book also provides much needed step-by-step guidance in helping partners move towards creating a new vision for the relationship that survives the affair. While Dr. Nelson’s approach is down-to-earth and pragmatic, she succeeds in articulating a tone that encourages kindness, and acceptance in the face of the excruciating pain that couples who experience infidelity feel. The book has genuine healing power.
I met the author at last years SSSS meeting. Interesting, helpful therapist from East Coast .
Top international reviews
Mutig, offen und frei von Verurteilung, zeigt es alternative Wege an, um offene verbindliche Wege zu beschreiten in der es Gleichwürdigkeit für das Paar gibt und Liebe, Respekt und Wertschätzung als wichtigen Boden für eine tiefe Verbindung und Intimität schafft, in der alle Belange zumindest Platz haben dürfen und ausgesprochen werden können, damit gemeinsam ein Weg gefunden werden kann.