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The New Vampire's Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night Paperback – September 8, 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Scott C. Sherman, MD is Assistant Residency Director, Department of Emergency Medicine, John Stroger Hospital of Cook County, Chicago, IL.
Joseph M. Weber, MD is EMS Medical Director, Stroger Cook County Hospital, Chicago, IL.
Top Customer Reviews
Yes it's a danged HUMOR book, get over it. It's quite funny, well presented, well worded, and you won't put it down until you're finished. The authors aren't dealing with wanna-be goths, blood-drinking fetish humans, movie vampires, or other crap but present the vampire as if they were real. There are influences from the Anne Rice books, a little Buffy, and old folklore to present them in a tongue-in-cheek fashion that will get you to laugh. Can go hand in hand with the The Werewolf's Guide to Life: A Manual for the Newly Bitten although this vampire guide is much better written. Worth picking up unless you are over-the-top and take the subject of vampire reality far too serious. It's not like we're talking about zombies here.
In any case, for you new vampires, you will gain some helpful information to adjust to your new condition by reading this book. This volume is organized into six parts. The first part deals with your health and welfare issues. Feeding tips are covered in part two. Part three explores the vampire-human relations. Society and culture factors are discussed in part four. The fifth section reviews various lifestyles a vampire can follow. The final section is actually the appendices and it has information that is also valuable for vampire hunters. You will find the ruling famlies of various vampire communities around the world and other interesting information to better hunt down vampires.
In conclusion, this is a book for all newly created vampires and vampires who want to increase their survival knowledge. Most vampire hunters know most of this information, but if you are new to this kind of hunting, you might pick up a few pointers. JUST ALWAYS KEEP YOUR TONGUE FIRMLY IN YOUR CHEEK AS YOU READ THIS EXCUSE FOR A HUMOROUS BOOK.
Rating: 3 Stars. Joseph J. Truncale (Author: Predator Hunter: A warrior's memoir)
Once I started I could not put it down ! It is one of the funniest books I have ever read ,
these writers are fantastic ! Miles' advice and anticdotes are priceless .
Don't forget to carry sunflower seeds or grains with you on dark spooky
nights , it can prove more useful than garlic !
Even if your turner is still around this is a good little book to bring up subjects with them they may not have realised was important before you get caught out and burn up. I mean I had never even thought about the fact that even though you catch a red-eye flight the plane may get delayed and sit for hours on the runway while you burn up with no where to escape the sunlight.
Vampire Miles Proctor also knows how to write in a humorous and very entertaining way. This is no boring book or rules or how to manual. In fact if humans ever get hold of a copy, and I've got to confess I'm actually in that category, even though there is nothing of immediate use to the non vampire inside we are quite entertained.
The main topics inside fall under the five main headings Health and Welfare, Feeding, Vampire-Human Relations, Society and Culture and Lifestyle. There's also a few appendices and a glossary of words the newly turned vampire is likely to hear but not quite know what they mean. Vampires will learn about their new body, weaknesses, mortal enemies, fangs and oral hygiene, selecting and luring prey, disaster preparedness, vampire fanatics, human-vampire love, faking your way through a meal, getting into invite only buildings, acting your age, coffins, travel and much more.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I recommend you read this book. It provides very good information, tips, and facts that are very helpful to vampiresPublished 20 months ago by Danielle Otery
No humor absolutely disgusting, i actually had to black out parts just to finish the thing it actually considered children so low that the people who know them wouldn't bother to... Read morePublished on July 23, 2014 by Jason Hansen
This was one hilarious book! Made me laugh all the way through it. It's funny and...well, just funny. I really enjoyed the way the author wrote it.Published on January 13, 2013 by Jennifer Fisher
When I first picked this up I wasn't sure what to expect, but being a fan of non-sparkly vampires I had to give it a try. Read morePublished on May 27, 2011 by Sam
I love this book and it is a joy to read. It is a scientific version of all vampire myths. I love mythology in general and this book is a great read.Published on December 4, 2010 by Janel
Since Stephenie Meyer unleashed her abominations on the world, vampires have been the subject of constant adoration, and that really should not be, considering they are supposed to... Read morePublished on May 31, 2010 by R. Laracuente
I bought this book up on a whim, and didn't set it down (or stop laughing!) until I reached the last page. Read morePublished on September 27, 2009 by Ross Mudrick