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Next Time I Fall in Love: How to Handle Sex, Intimacy, and Feelings in Dating Relationships (Grow for It Books) Paperback – June, 1987

4.8 out of 5 stars 6 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Chap Clark (PhD, University of Denver) is Associate Provost for Regional Campuses and Special Projects and Professor of Youth, Family, and Culture at Fuller Theological Seminary. Chap s extensive books, articles, and videos focus primarily on relationships. Among his many books are Hurt and Hurt 2.0; When Kids Hurt; Disconnected: Parenting Teens in a MySpace World (co-authored with his wife, Dee); and Deep Justice in a Broken World. Chap and Dee currently live in Gig Harbor, Washington. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
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Product Details

  • Series: Grow for It Books
  • Paperback: 144 pages
  • Publisher: Youth Specialties (June 1987)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0910125082
  • ISBN-13: 978-0910125086
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,504,435 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
One of the best books that easily explains how to have a mentally healthy dating relationship that keeps to the minimum the stress and drama that can occur while dating this book also enables the reader to grasp how to fall in Love in such a way that a good foundation is built for the relationship for the future benefit of both parties and all those involved such as children. This book should be required reading in high school but because it would be so beneficial to everyone and the nation it is not required.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A college student recommended this book to us after he had read it several times. We loved it so much that we invited the author to come lead a workshop for other students! Practical, readable, funny, wise. Suitable for teens and for adults.
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Format: Paperback
Poor relationships are most often involved in psychological problems. It is always wise to prevent these problems before they even begin. Chap Clark's Next Time I Fall in Love tries to do just that. Although he claims his audience are the 13-25 year-olds, actually the book appears written for high school and college age.

Clark examines the nature of love, intimacy, breaking up, healing and forgiveness. The pictures and cartoons at the beginning of each chapter, as well as his discussion questions at the end of each chapter, both liven the book up and get the reader involved.

Although many might agree with his standard treatments of the words for love (eros as temporary, conditional and self-centered, and agape as exactly the opposite), I find them not only grossly inadequate, but very misleading for the person coming to grips with his or her own sexuality and feelings. Clark writes against the experience of "falling in love," but praises a conscious, cognitive agape love. When it comes to dating his entire analysis of love seems contradictory: agape love lasts forever, until the couple breaks up. "Agape lovers never tire of their partners. Now as the dating relationship deepens, you may sense that it's not best or even what you really want" (p. 31). I wonder if he would apply this agape type of love to the marital relationship? To a parent-child relationship? Agape love is committed love, until you decide that you don't want the commitment.

There is much good in Clark's book, however. He has some helpful comments about having and keeping self-esteem, as well as the giving and receiving in relationships. He encourages teens to trust in God for their needs and self-esteem, rather than in relationships or even themselves.
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