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No Cheating, No Dying: I Had a Good Marriage. Then I Tried To Make It Better. Hardcover – February 7, 2012
Deciding that the laissez-faire if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it adage shouldn’t apply to marriage, Weil set out to improve her own, a marriage that she and most people she knew considered an ideal one. For one year, Weil and her husband—fellow writer, coparticipant in what they long ago named their whole life creative act of writing and creating and raising a family, and colossally good sport—Daniel Duane, visit therapists, attend seminars and hippie-dippie workshops, and seek out financial counsel, knowing full well that they might scare out some snakes. Weil, whose 2009 New York Times Magazine story Married (Happily) with Issues forms the basis for the book, approaches this creative act with unfaltering self-awareness, and this is what makes her pursuit so successful and readable. Indeed, the author’s own surprise at what she finds when rooting around the depths of her union translates to moments of unanticipated beauty on the printed page. The best kind of popular-psychology title, probing without proposing self-help, this book will appeal to a broad range of readers and start conversations among them. --Annie Bostrom
“A whip smart and contagiously humorous attempt to address the eternal conundrum of domestic ennui and its discontents.” --Elle
“Witty, honest . . .” -- People
“Weil has a voice that charms, full of wit, intelligence and compassion.” -- O, The Oprah Magazine
“The story of their marriage-improvement journey is both hilarious and insightful.” -- The New York Times Book Review
“Quite wonderful . . . an astonishingly intimate, hilariously self-deprecating, vibrant and thoroughly modern memoir.” -- San Francisco Chronicle
“An engaging, often funny and heartfelt memoir about the not-so-romantic realities that can follow 'I do.'" -- Tampa Bay Times
"What ultimately makes No Cheating, No Dying such a thrilling read is the way Weil fiercely includes the reader in the secret life of her marriage." -- Knoxville MetroPulse
“Weil approaches this creative act with unfaltering self awareness, and this is what makes her pursuit so successful and readable. Indeed, the author’s own surprise at what she finds when rooting around the depths of her union translates to moments of unanticipated beauty on the printed page.” -Booklist
"This is such a smart and rich and insightful book (sometimes painfully funny, other times funnily painful) about what it really takes to keep the turbines of modern marriage going. Reading this memoir, I found myself rooting not only for Liz and Dan, but for all of us -- all married couples who've been humbled by life and stress, but who keep struggling and striving, year after year, to somehow keep it together." --Elizabeth Gilbert
"Part experiment, part memoir — told with candor and grace. . . . " -- New Jersey Star Ledger
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There was a nice lack of formula that one often reads in these types of books, you know where the stories usually seem to be processed and trimmed into neat little packages to deliver the predetermined little lesson or to achieve the 'closure' that media loves and is rarely achievable in real life. She's a great writer, with smart, interesting way of writing about her marriage and life, a little deeper and more honest and less defensive than one usual reads.
I felt this book was a 5 star until near the end when she lost me a little when I felt she failed at what she had succeeded at so wonderfully before and that is making her and her husband both flawed like we all are but nevertheless likable and very appealing. That may be a little harsh, they didn't become unlikable it's just that I could no longer see her perspective and so therefore it lost me a little as a reader.
There has been some criticism on her husband Dan but I thought Dan equally adorable and real in all his crazy obsessions, he seemed interesting, tender and smart and even his angry outbursts made him real but still cute. But those last two chapters kind of lost me. Personally I couldn't see why she was labeled terrible because she lied about her true sexual relationship with an old boyfriend but the fact that Dan had spent years writing this sex obsessed book about an ex girlfriend while he with his wife was okay? I mean why was her thing so hurtful and his not hurtful? That needed to be explained to me to allow me to continue seeing them equally flawed and equally likable. Same with his hatred of the grandparents weekends, I get that he didn't like it and wanted to do more real stuff but it's really hard to relate to trying to see her as the bad one in this - let's see, the grandchildren get to spend time with wonderful grandparents, in a luxurious but maybe fake type of setting that may not Dan's idea of fun but hey hardly a hardship right? I would say just suck it up and be thankful the kids have interested engaged grandparents to bond with in a lovely setting and you get some free time. And so I wasn't able to see his perspective and that is needed for this book to work completely. Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe that just means that they are real people and that means we aren't always (or even usually) rational in our feelings.
Nevertheless, it was a fun quick read and would highly recommend it!
It's a quick and fun read. I wouldn't look to it for someone wanting to improve their own marriage, but rather just someone who wants to be entertained by a real and not overly dramatic story.
I found this book to be annoying a poorly written. The story is OK, and it is always interesting to get an insider's view of other people's lives, which is why memoirs can be so interesting, but the author has laced her story with so many quotes and obscure references that it was oftentimes hard to understand where she was going with her points. I found myself frequently saying, "Why did she put that reference here? It doesn't really make sense to this part of the story." It was like she sat down and wrote this book in a stream of conciousness sort of fashion, or like she had read an interesting quote and wanted to use it, so she just plopped it in somewhere. It was very annoying. Also she would make these references to obscure people or places and not properly explain them. I am very well educated and not unintelligent, but I was often left wondering if I was supposed to know what she was referring to. Her chapter structure was also off. She would start a new paragraph on a new subject, and then the chapter just ended. It was like someone told her that the book needed to be shorter, so she just went in an chopped off the end of some chapters to make it fit.
I gave it three stars because some of the memoir part of the story is interesting, and because I am often a little generous with my star parceling, but don't waste your time with this book.
No Cheating, No Dying is about two writers who are well enough along in their marriage that the wife has concerns about the partners drifting apart and then she tries to make the marriage better. They partake of many of the helps available and provide hilarious information about what they found.
It is not the length and depth of The Social Animal. Where Brooks effort was a contrived novel to bring some life to his thoughts, No X 2 is real life and fall off your chair funny.
A most enjoyable and valuable one hundred and seventy two page read by a superb Elizabeth Weil.
Am going to send both books to our five grand-daughters.
Most recent customer reviews
Disappointed. I agree with another reviewer that if you are looking for a good marriage book, get The Five Love Languages by Gary...Read more