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No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending Paperback – January 10, 2017
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How we grieve is directly related to how we heal. Esther Fleece introduces the language of lament and argues persuasively that this is a prayer God never ignores. No More Faking Fine is a book for anyone wrestling with the unavoidable tension created when the faithful suffer. (Andy Stanley, communicator, author, and pastor)
For many of us, when someone asks how we’re doing, our automatic response is “fine”---even when we aren’t. Esther Fleece transparently shares her story of “faking fine” until she couldn’t anymore---and how God has brought emotional healing as she learned to stop pretending. This is an encouraging and helpful book. (Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family)
No More Faking Fine deepened and solidified my understanding of bringing God into every part of my life, especially when it comes to difficulties and grief. I know this will help heal, challenge, and encourage people wherever they are in life. This is such a needed book for our time! (Rachel Cruze, #1 New York Times bestselling author and personal finance expert)
In a culture full of facades, Esther Fleece unpacks the vital and overlooked role of honest lament in our complete healing from life’s harshest storms. No More Faking Fine leads us on a biblical yet scarcely traveled road, where God meets us in the midst of our deepest pain, in ways unlike any we could possibly experience in our greatest victories. (Benjamin Watson, National Football League tight end and author)
Esther Fleece exposes her personal pain to us in this book. She exposes what that pain did to distort her reality and shift her from truly trusting that God is near. Her pain forced her to the Scriptures, and the Scriptures exposed a way through the pain. This book is a gift to be led through the Word in this way---to be encouraged to give voice to our destructive thoughts and memories, to receive permission to let it all out to God. There is no judgment of our hurt or our painful experiences. All are worthy to be heard by God. Thank you, Esther, for sharing your story and teaching us to be free to lament. (Sarah and Matthew Hasselbeck, ESPN analyst and retired NFL quarterback)
Many days, it just feels easier to fake being fine. Esther Fleece’s powerful voice for lament, beautifully told through her splintered story, allures me into authenticity before God. She invites us to this ancient, yet out-of-fashion way and introduces another side of God to those of us who are hungry for more than those pat answers to what aches within our insides. (Sara Hagerty, author of Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet)
Esther Fleece’s powerful story encourages us to be honest to God and to each other. Life isn’t easy in a world under the curse, nor does God intend it to be. The poison of prosperity theology has set up countless Christians for disillusionment because they’ve been told they’re supposed to always be healthy, wealthy, successful, popular, and “just fine.” As Esther demonstrates, we need the authenticity of David and the prophets and Paul and, above all, Jesus, recognizing that God will be with us when our hearts are broken. He can infuse us with joy even when we are suffering. One day, God’s children will “live happily ever after.” Until that day comes, let’s give ourselves and each other permission to grieve and feel pain, loss, and discouragement. In other words, let’s quit faking fine so we can gladly embrace together the comfort of Jesus. (Randy Alcorn, founder and director of Eternal Perspective Ministries and author of Heaven and Happiness)
Esther Fleece writes an authentic and vulnerable book that we all need to read. Esther helps us to recover the language and practice of lament. This is for anyone who has been disappointed in life but is determined to overcome and live honestly and sincerely. (Brady Boyd, pastor of New Life Church, Colorado Springs, and author of Speak Life and Addicted to Busy)
I have walked with Jesus my entire adult life and never read anything so powerful calling us to lament. Esther Fleece is the real deal. Her life is a genuine lament of brokenness and celebration of God’s redemption. (Dr. Juli Slattery, president of Authentic Intimacy)
Esther Fleece is a gift to the church. No More Faking Fine is just the book many Christians need to understand the biblical call to lament. The only way out of the valley of sorrow is through the path of lament. Let Fleece be your guide on the journey to joy. (Phillip Bethancourt, executive vice president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission (ERLC))
About the Author
Esther Fleece is an international speaker and writer on Millennials and faith, leadership, and family, recognized among Christianity Today’s “Top 50 Women Shaping the Church and Culture” and CNN’s “Five Women in Religion to Watch.” As founder and CEO of L&L Consulting, she works to connect influential individuals and organizations to their mutual benefit. You can follow Esther’s global adventures on Twitter @EstherFleece and at www.estherfleece.com.
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Esther offers readers an authentic glimpse at a life of faith. By sharing her own story and journey, she gives readers a language for the raw emotions that we might otherwise try to bury. She honestly and candidly reveals her own discovery of how lament not only renews and restores our OWN faith, but empowers us to help others find restoration as well.
If you’ve spent any time stuffing your emotions or just trying to move forward and get past a hurt of any kind, Esther dedicates an entire section of her book to learning to lament honestly. It’s permission to own your pain, not to wallow in it, but to own it and talk to God about it. Take the time to care for yourself by learning to lament honestly so that you can heal, and you can move on.
“Lamenting is actually a testimony of God’s great love for us. It demonstrates that we have a God who listens to us, a God who hears us, and a God who concerns Himself with every area of our lives, both big and small.” — Esther Fleece, No More Faking Fine
Giving yourself permission to grieve and allowing yourself to feel the physical anguish of that grief is extremely difficult. This book fell into my lap only a few short weeks after experiencing the greatest loss of my life. When you work for a church, expectations of where the bar sits for you publicly is high. This book not only confirmed what God was laying on my heart, it also gave me the dignity to know that I really was "Fine".