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No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life Hardcover – January 8, 2003
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As I said, I'm just a woman, but if your partner is feeling like theyre getting no where in life, or that they feel as if they have basically failed at everything, then read this book. If you see them struggling, read this book because it has a lot of insight of what is going on. And it can even help you.
What I liked
In this book, Dr. Glover gives a very detailed and thorough plan for recovering and kicking the "nice guy syndrome". This plan will 100% work if you execute it.
many sentences and descriptions in the book left me openmouthed, swearing under my breath, and even in tears once. This book can see right into the soul of the Nice Guy. The Truth about the way I lived life was a hard pill to swallow but one of the best things I have ever done
the Book includes some 50 step by step exercises designed to make you happier, more attractive, stop seeking approval, and enjoy life
-CURED ME OF THE NICE GUY SYNDROME
The Nice guy syndrome caused some major issues for me mentally when I was younger. To be able to break free of old patterns and create the future as something new Is a something that will stick with me for a long time.
What I didn't like
-EXCESSIVE NICE GUY MENTIONING
this book mentions the opposite of the nice guy the Integrated Male only ONCE. I really wished that the contrasted the two figures against each other to see how they handled different situations.
Summary: No More Mr. Nice Guy is a book for almost every man in this day and age. If you are intruiged by the concept, buy the book. It is something you will not regret.
It was a punch to the gut and a knee to the face all at once. The book reads like it was written about me and for me. I've been called a "Nice Guy" all my adult life and never understood why that was a problem. I've been called needy and clingy. Didn't understand that either. I am 48 years old and finally understand what I need to do to change my life for the better.
This book has in a short space changed how I approach my life; it’s taught me how to (and why I should) express my point of view and desires in work and personal relationships more directly. I now find something remarkable happens when I state my case clearly, I save all the energy I used to put into trying to “juggle” and turn things into what they weren’t and never could be, It made me aware of how I took for granted the state of emotional starvation I lived in, and how impossible I thought it was to change that. I learned how to admit and define my position in relationships. The title of the book suggests it’s going to turn you into a self centered aggressive a-hole. I found the opposite to be true, I found it let me open up to the love that was already around me but that I had been holding away, because I thought I wanted something else. I was ready for this book and it’s brought me new levels of peace and freedom. Many thanks Dr. Glover.
The negative reviews appear to be mostly from those who don't fit the profile correctly. It seems that you're either a pretty extreme "Nice Guy", or not a "Nice Guy" at all. I could see how this book wouldn't be very helpful for men who might generally lack confidence, but don't otherwise fit the profile.
The profile of a "Nice Guy" is:
Avoids conflict at all costs
Focuses on giving and is uncomfortable receiving
Constantly seeks approval from others, especially women
Hides their flaws and mistakes
Believes there is a "right" way to do things
Represses their feelings
Makes a distict effort to be different than their fathers
Are often more comfortable relating to women than to men
Have difficulty making their own needs a priority
Make their partner their emotional center
Has deep shame about themselves and a general feeling of "I'm not okay"
Basically everything a "Nice Guy" does is calculated to gain the approval of others in some way.
If this sounds like you I would highly, highly recommend this book.
Top international reviews
Dr Glover is focussing on men who for whatever reason cannot safely and openly be themselves. The consequence is that such a man cannot be assertive and open, but must present a 'nice' persona all the while being manipulative with others - hence Nice Guy Syndrome. This has all kinds of negative consequences for both him and those around him, and fundamentally is not actually nice at all. For example a Nice Guy may want sex, but will not want to do so openly for fear of rejection, fear of female sexuality or fear of being 'dirty' - and will therefore try manipulative strategies to get it, as if they will be owed it by a women as a consequence.
The book is very pragmatic and practical, although, as per the warning in the book, liberating yourself from Nice Guy Syndrome can radically change your life and relationships. The exercises are well worth doing and spending some real time with. This is a book to return to repeatedly to digest all the lessons.
This is well worth reading for all men, if only to ensure you avoid the problems it describes and learn to be a genuine person with those that are closest to you. This is probably most potent in the late teens when figuring out how adult relationships work.
It is probably also useful for women to understand the psychology of men who appear nice, but are also manipulative or underhand at the same time - or, in a word, 'creepy'.
Finally, this is not a 'red pill' or PUA type book; it's not cynical about people nor is it about maintaining some kind of manipulative grip on another person. It's actually about becoming a better, healthier man.
I certainly found it a harrowing to read, but it has done me immense good. Seeing my unconscious beliefs about myself and about life spelled out in black in white has been incredibly powerful in helping me to let them go.
I actually used to write about Nice Guy Syndrome some decades ago, but this book, No More Mr Nice Guy, goes into the topic in far more depth, for more profoundly and far more insight-fully than anything I ever managed to come up with - and that I have ever come across before. Hats off to Dr Glover and his book, No More Mr Nice Guy.
If in doubt, buy it anyway. You’ll know someone who needs to read it for sure.
While you are at it you might want to get my book so you can forgive yourself for all those mistakes and missed opportunities…
Stop ‘trying’ to be nice. Nice guys aren’t really nice at all. Learn to ask for what you want. This book will
change you if you want to change. I think I’m probably quite light on the ‘being too nice’ front. I know
some guys are crippled by their need to try and be nice. Woman hate it and can see it for what it
really is! This book will help nice guys stop being nice. It will help nice guys just open up and ask for what
they really want. Becuase doing the washing up doesn’t guarantee you a BJ that night.
It is a book that wants you to take care of yourself first and foremost, putting your needs as a priority first and allowing you to feel comfortable with being selfish
Just now around 5:45 PM IST, I got this book delivered by FedEx.
Just now started to read the Chapters and I am like, "What was I missing all these years?".
Very useful book for guys who think innocence is Good.
This book is a great gateway into deeper psychological themes of what makes Nice Guys Nice Guys - toxic shame. Women could probably do well from reading it too.
But now, I feel like more of a man and with a deeper understanding of what masculinity actually is. It's essentially a crash course in psychology of why we might feel inadequate and thus the need to hide our flaws and even manipulate others, followed by how to break these patterns and be more honest and direct as you move through the world. It's simple but effective. I'm only a third of the way through and already I'm having better relationships with other men, with people in general, and I'm also getting more dates. Thank you, Mr. Glover. I can't wait to finish it and really start to succeed.
So much that I have no resentment getting a copy for my now ex-partner and wish her all the best. Dr. Glover is absolutely insightful and spot on in how he communicates in a way that a nice guy would need.
Stop kidding yourself, and even if it doesn’t turn out to teach you anything new I suggest pay it forward. The world needs healthier people.
I strongly recommend to anyone who lives their lives putting others first and is unhappy deep down.
I’ve never been a great reader, but the reviews and my willingness to adapt as a person compelled me to spend time reading this book. I followed the various guidance throughout and can only believe that this along with time made me become such a happier person.
Maybe I was just lucky and the book “struck a chord with me” but I have felt so grateful to the author and guidance from this book for a long time.