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Dr. Robert A Glover

Robert A. Glover

No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life Hardcover – January 8, 2003

by Robert A. Glover (Author)

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Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.

Print length

208 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Running Press Adult
Publication date

January 8, 2003
Dimensions

6.3 x 1 x 9.25 inches
ISBN-10

0762415339
ISBN-13

978-0762415335
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Popular Highlights in this book

What are popular highlights?

It is actually a person's rough edges and human imperfections that give others something to connect with.
Highlighted by 9,983 Kindle readers
Surrender doesn't mean giving up, it means letting go of what one can't change and changing what one can.
Highlighted by 9,898 Kindle readers
My definition of integrity is "deciding what feels right and doing it."
Highlighted by 6,778 Kindle readers

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Robert A. Glover holds a PhD in marriage and family therapy and is himself a recovering Nice Guy. As a result of over thirty years of clinical work with countless men and women, Dr. Glover has become widely recognized as a leading authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome.

Dr. Glover lives in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, where he writes and leads workshops and seminars for men. His website drglover.com features numerous online courses focusing on personal growth, relationships, sexuality, and career.

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Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Running Press Adult; 38928th edition (January 8, 2003)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0762415339
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0762415335
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.6 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.3 x 1 x 9.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #3,508 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #16 in Codependency (Books)
- #22 in Popular Applied Psychology
- #39 in Marriage

Customer Reviews:
7,604 ratings

About the authors

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Dr. Robert A Glover
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Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Running Press, 2003)
Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications.
Through his book, online classes, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped change the lives of countless men and women around the world.
As a result of his work, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of Nice Guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males. Along with these personal changes have come similar transformations in these men's professional careers and intimate relationships.
Dr. Glover is the creator of Dating Essentials for Men, the director of TPI University, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Washington.
Dr. Glover divides his year between Bellevue, WA and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
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Robert A. Glover
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Discover more of the author’s books, see similar authors, read author blogs and more
See more on the author's page

Customer reviews

5 star		77%
4 star		13%
3 star		6%
2 star		3%
1 star		2%

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MatthewFF

Reading this book saved my life. Actually that was just chapter 1.

Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2018

Verified Purchase

Reading this book saved my life. Actually that was just chapter 1.

It was a punch to the gut and a knee to the face all at once. The book reads like it was written about me and for me. I've been called a "Nice Guy" all my adult life and never understood why that was a problem. I've been called needy and clingy. Didn't understand that either. I am 48 years old and finally understand what I need to do to change my life for the better.

229 people found this helpful

Helpful

Kayleigh D.

I have hopes from this book.

Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2017

Verified Purchase

Wife perspective...***My husband has seemed to hit a heck of a rut in life lately. I can't get through to him and it seemed like he was trying to go about things in unhealthy ways that, from what I see, wasn't helping. This all has been happening these past couple of months and frankly I was getting hurt and pushed away no matter what I tried to do to help him. One night after googling what he has been going through, I found out that he was a classic 'self shamer'. Down to the T. In one of the articles I read, this book was mentioned so I looked into it on here. I ordered it right away and although my husband was reluctant to even go near this book, as he felt what good what come from it, I began reading out loud to him from the book. Just getting through the first chapter had him hooked and wanting to know more. He's not much of a reader, so I've still been reading out loud to him which I feel has helped us both. He can see what he is doing, and I can know how better to help him. He still isn't fully out of his funk, but at least he has agreed to go through counseling to help get back on track because of this book. And while I'm still feeling down and lonely because of whatever he is going through too, at least it gives me a little hope that this book will work.

As I said, I'm just a woman, but if your partner is feeling like theyre getting no where in life, or that they feel as if they have basically failed at everything, then read this book. If you see them struggling, read this book because it has a lot of insight of what is going on. And it can even help you.

577 people found this helpful

Helpful

J.S. Bach

BECOME THE ALPHA MALE. This book is the path to true masculinity

Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2018

Verified Purchase

So
What I liked
-COMPREHENSIVE PLAN.
In this book, Dr. Glover gives a very detailed and thorough plan for recovering and kicking the "nice guy syndrome". This plan will 100% work if you execute it.
-CUTTING TRUTH
many sentences and descriptions in the book left me openmouthed, swearing under my breath, and even in tears once. This book can see right into the soul of the Nice Guy. The Truth about the way I lived life was a hard pill to swallow but one of the best things I have ever done
-CONCRETE EXERCISES
the Book includes some 50 step by step exercises designed to make you happier, more attractive, stop seeking approval, and enjoy life
-CURED ME OF THE NICE GUY SYNDROME
The Nice guy syndrome caused some major issues for me mentally when I was younger. To be able to break free of old patterns and create the future as something new Is a something that will stick with me for a long time.

What I didn't like
-EXCESSIVE NICE GUY MENTIONING
this book mentions the opposite of the nice guy the Integrated Male only ONCE. I really wished that the contrasted the two figures against each other to see how they handled different situations.

Summary: No More Mr. Nice Guy is a book for almost every man in this day and age. If you are intruiged by the concept, buy the book. It is something you will not regret.

233 people found this helpful

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John

Fantastic Book for those for fit the "Nice Guy" Profile

Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2018

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This is a fantastic book for those who fit the "Nice Guy" profile. And it's by far the best self-help book I've ever read.

The negative reviews appear to be mostly from those who don't fit the profile correctly. It seems that you're either a pretty extreme "Nice Guy", or not a "Nice Guy" at all. I could see how this book wouldn't be very helpful for men who might generally lack confidence, but don't otherwise fit the profile.

The profile of a "Nice Guy" is:

Avoids conflict at all costs
Focuses on giving and is uncomfortable receiving
Constantly seeks approval from others, especially women
Hides their flaws and mistakes
Believes there is a "right" way to do things
Represses their feelings
Makes a distict effort to be different than their fathers
Are often more comfortable relating to women than to men
Have difficulty making their own needs a priority
Make their partner their emotional center
Has deep shame about themselves and a general feeling of "I'm not okay"

Basically everything a "Nice Guy" does is calculated to gain the approval of others in some way.

If this sounds like you I would highly, highly recommend this book.

201 people found this helpful

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j.v.v

TRANS-FORM

Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2017

Verified Purchase

I’ve got 4 feet of self-help books on a shelf. Most of them half read. This was the one I needed. I’d like to say I wish I found it years ago, but the truth is I probably wasn’t ready years ago, but “When the student is ready the master appears.”
This book has in a short space changed how I approach my life; it’s taught me how to (and why I should) express my point of view and desires in work and personal relationships more directly. I now find something remarkable happens when I state my case clearly, I save all the energy I used to put into trying to “juggle” and turn things into what they weren’t and never could be, It made me aware of how I took for granted the state of emotional starvation I lived in, and how impossible I thought it was to change that. I learned how to admit and define my position in relationships. The title of the book suggests it’s going to turn you into a self centered aggressive a-hole. I found the opposite to be true, I found it let me open up to the love that was already around me but that I had been holding away, because I thought I wanted something else. I was ready for this book and it’s brought me new levels of peace and freedom. Many thanks Dr. Glover.

190 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Paul

Possibly the most important book you'll ever read

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 21, 2018

Verified Purchase

Depending on your personal history and psychology, this book will either be of moderate use to you or one of the most important books you ever read. This is essentially a manual on assertiveness and moving past the experiences which have prevented you being an integrated person, focusing on sexual and relationship issues - but far from exclusively.

Dr Glover is focussing on men who for whatever reason cannot safely and openly be themselves. The consequence is that such a man cannot be assertive and open, but must present a 'nice' persona all the while being manipulative with others - hence Nice Guy Syndrome. This has all kinds of negative consequences for both him and those around him, and fundamentally is not actually nice at all. For example a Nice Guy may want sex, but will not want to do so openly for fear of rejection, fear of female sexuality or fear of being 'dirty' - and will therefore try manipulative strategies to get it, as if they will be owed it by a women as a consequence.

The book is very pragmatic and practical, although, as per the warning in the book, liberating yourself from Nice Guy Syndrome can radically change your life and relationships. The exercises are well worth doing and spending some real time with. This is a book to return to repeatedly to digest all the lessons.

This is well worth reading for all men, if only to ensure you avoid the problems it describes and learn to be a genuine person with those that are closest to you. This is probably most potent in the late teens when figuring out how adult relationships work.

It is probably also useful for women to understand the psychology of men who appear nice, but are also manipulative or underhand at the same time - or, in a word, 'creepy'.

Finally, this is not a 'red pill' or PUA type book; it's not cynical about people nor is it about maintaining some kind of manipulative grip on another person. It's actually about becoming a better, healthier man.

66 people found this helpful

Greger Johansson

Long long overdue read...

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 13, 2017

Verified Purchase

The saddest part is that i needed this book and wake up 30 years ago. Crushingly accurate in way to many ways. Now at the age of 50 I sadly realize how much I made myself miss in my life.

79 people found this helpful

William Fergus Martin

Superb, In-depth, Very Insightful.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 6, 2019

Verified Purchase

Dr Glover nails the topic of what causes Nice Guys, to get friend-zoned so often, get disrespected (not the same as being liked) in long term relationships, and how to break out of those patterns. He lays it all out there and the more a Nice Guy you are the more harrowing - in a positive way - you will find this book.

I certainly found it a harrowing to read, but it has done me immense good. Seeing my unconscious beliefs about myself and about life spelled out in black in white has been incredibly powerful in helping me to let them go.

I actually used to write about Nice Guy Syndrome some decades ago, but this book, No More Mr Nice Guy, goes into the topic in far more depth, for more profoundly and far more insight-fully than anything I ever managed to come up with - and that I have ever come across before. Hats off to Dr Glover and his book, No More Mr Nice Guy.

If in doubt, buy it anyway. You’ll know someone who needs to read it for sure.

While you are at it you might want to get my book so you can forgive yourself for all those mistakes and missed opportunities…
https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B078SBYFQB&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_9hxsDb1H78G3M

8 people found this helpful

MJ

Life changing

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 30, 2019

Verified Purchase

I never really considered myself a "nice guy", i.e. Someone who thinks that being nice is enough to get everything they want in life and when that inevitably doesn't happen, they shout that the world is unfair and manipulate everyone around them (deliberately or otherwise). I bought this book because I felt like I wasn't assertive enough.

But now, I feel like more of a man and with a deeper understanding of what masculinity actually is. It's essentially a crash course in psychology of why we might feel inadequate and thus the need to hide our flaws and even manipulate others, followed by how to break these patterns and be more honest and direct as you move through the world. It's simple but effective. I'm only a third of the way through and already I'm having better relationships with other men, with people in general, and I'm also getting more dates. Thank you, Mr. Glover. I can't wait to finish it and really start to succeed.

7 people found this helpful

Psycho Spirituality

No More Mr Nice Guy

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 24, 2018

Verified Purchase

Get more sex now!
Stop ‘trying’ to be nice. Nice guys aren’t really nice at all. Learn to ask for what you want. This book will
change you if you want to change. I think I’m probably quite light on the ‘being too nice’ front. I know
some guys are crippled by their need to try and be nice. Woman hate it and can see it for what it
really is! This book will help nice guys stop being nice. It will help nice guys just open up and ask for what
they really want. Becuase doing the washing up doesn’t guarantee you a BJ that night.

15 people found this helpful

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