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No More Perfect Moms: Learn to Love Your Real Life Paperback – February 1, 2013
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From the Back Cover
If you have ever forgotten to pick up your kids,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Jill Savage in No More Perfect Moms gets honest—all mothers struggle. We fall short of our own standard of excellence, which causes us to feel insecure about being the perfect wife with the perfect kids, perfect husband, perfect home, perfect friends, perfect marriage and perfect body . . .
ThisPerfection Infection attacks when we compare our insides to others outsides. No More Perfect Moms speaks to the root and reality of the insecurities mothers feel, and it provides The Antidote.
No More Perfect Moms will help a mom:
o Change her unrealistic expectations to realistic hopes
o Give grace and love to her husband and children even during struggles, and discover the beauty of grace when she stops judging herself and others
o Find freedom from disappointment when she embraces her real family, her real challenges, and her real, but imperfect, life
About the Author
Top customer reviews
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From the beginning of the book to the end, I knew God was speaking directly to me through the authors. Influenced by my own upbringing, I tend toward the “perfection infection,” and God has been working in me and transforming me. This book has proven to be another step in that journey for me.
In No More Perfect Kids, Savage and Koch empower parents to better answer for their children those all-important identity questions, dedicating a chapter to each question:
Do You Like Me?
Am I Important to You?
Is it Okay I’m Unique?
Who Am I?
Am I a Failure?
What’s My Purpose?
Will you help me change?
I found the chapter two, “The Perfection Infection Collides with Parenting,” to be particularly helpful, giving 10 dangers of “perfection infection parenting.” The authors described the difference between perfection and excellence, a distinction that offered an encouraging, refreshing and freeing new perspective to this recovering perfectionist! But the authors don’t stop with the dangers. They go on to share the cure for the “perfection infection,” and then they give even more specific antidotes—compassion, perception, acceptance, and love—and how to put them into practice.
One of my favorite parts of the whole book (and there were many), was the “parenting love audit” at the end of chapter two. Taken directly from God’s way of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, the audit asks parents specific questions related to each characteristic of love. Here are just two examples:
“Love is patient. Am I patient with my child who is so different from me?”
“Love is kind. Am I kind when it takes my child twice the amount of time to do something than I think it should?”
Ouch! The audit gave me specific ways to begin applying these practical principles taken directly from God’s Word—principles guaranteed to transform me and my parenting.
I could go on and on about each chapter, because there are SO MANY great parts and so many great quotes. This is the most practical book I’ve ever read. At the end of most chapters, Savage and Koch include practical ways to put into practice the principles they offer with “Apply the Antidotes.” And, unlike most books, No More Perfect Kids includes a whole slew of appendices offering even more practical ways to transform your parenting:
Family Time Activities
Age-Appropriate Tasks for Children
How to Pray for Your Child
Developmental Age-Appropriate Characteristics
Character Qualities to Develop in Your Children
Recommended Reading for Perfectly Imperfect Kids
In short, I can’t say enough about No More Perfect Kids. Many of us know we’re victims of the “perfection infection” and we don’t like it, but we’re at a loss for how to get out of the rut. Savage and Koch guide readers to a way out in this practical, biblically-based book. Now it’s up to us readers to do the hard work and put the principles into practice! The great thing is that the authors work hard to make this book as practical as possible so it’s not just head knowledge, but something we can actually put into practice.
No More Perfect Kids, published by Moody Publishers, will be available March 1, 2014, through the publishers website, major bookstores, and online retailers. You can also visit the publisher’s book page at [...] and grab a free leader’s guide to use in a small group environment.
Jill Savage is an author and speaker who is passionate about encouraging moms. She is the author of six books including Real Moms…Real Jesus, Professionalizing Motherhood, My Hearts At Home, andIs There Really Sex After Kids? Featured in Focus on the Family, Today’s Christian Woman magazine, and Family Life Today, Jill is the founder and Executive Director of Hearts at Home, an organization designed to encourage, educate, and equip women in the profession of motherhood. Jill and her husband, Mark, have five children and make their home in Normal, Illinois. Learn more about Jill Savage and Hearts at Home at [...]
Kathy Koch is the Founder and President of Celebrate Kids, Inc., based in Fort Worth, Texas. She earned three degrees from Purdue University, including a Ph.D. in Reading and Educational Psychology. Kathy is author ofHow Am I Smart and Finding Authentic Hope and Wholeness, and is a regular contributor to three international magazines. Kathy lives in Fort Worth, Texas. Find out more about Kathy Koch and her ministry by visiting [...]
* Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for this review. However, the opinions expressed in my review are my own.
"Feelings breathe, they are fluid, and they don't always tell us the truth." -- Chapter 5, "No More Perfect Marriages"
I think one of my favorite ideas presented is something we all do and never really realized how incorrect it was. When you look at facebook, pinterest, Christmas letters and think how perfect that family looks -- what you are seeing is their outsides. Its a parade of their best. And who wouldn't want to brag now and then? But I'm comparing it to my insides. I must face my internal struggles daily, the difficulties I have with cooking, keeping a clean house, etc., and its not something I would post on facebook or in a Christmas letter. So why am I comparing my internal difficulties to other people's external photographs? What a truth to latch on to and unlock so much stress.
"Confidence comes from defining ourselves as God sees us: forgiven, loved, valuable, and filled with hope and promise. We're not perfect, but we are in the process of being perfected... Carry your God'fidence with you..." -- Chapter 6,"No More Perfect Friends"
This book points out how beautiful and messy motherhood is. But it also forces you to look inside yourself and the wrong things you do as well. From judging other moms to not forgiving our own mistakes. This book is like a warm hug letting you know its okay. When we re-focus and see our struggles in a different light, then we can actually see gifts God is giving us each day. He is building us up, bringing us closer to him, and longing to direct our steps. This book reminds us to trust God.
"We need perspective that the moment we are in is just as important as the moment we planned on that didn't happen the way we thought it would... When we don't value the moment we are in as much as the one we planned, we'll miss out on precious time with those we love." -- Chapter 7,"No More Perfect Days"
This book not only gives confidence but also helpful tips. It doesn't end with a "ready, set, go!" Its gives you a springboard to keep building up her advice. From becoming a "yes" mom to changing those unrealistic expectations into realistic hopes to accepting the reality of my life. Mrs. Savage even includes helpful appendices to remind us how God sees us and to show us places in the Bible we can turn to when we're feeling all different emotions. Feeling defeated, depressed, guilty, worthless? God has something to say about that, and Mrs. Savage gives you the keys to open those doors.
"We are on a journey to make peace with real life." -- Chapter 8, "No More Perfect Homes"
So where am I going from here? I'm going to lose my pride, fear, judgement, comparisons, agendas, and performances. I'm going to be honest, change my expectations, and combat this infection with humility, confidence, and grace. None of us are alone. We are among friends!