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No One's the Bitch: A Ten-Step Plan For The Mother And Stepmother Relationship Paperback – May 5, 2009
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From Library Journal
"A really interesting walkthrough; a ten-step plan that’s well thought-out and experience-based... A giant step in resolving this problem."
— Dr. Phil McGraw, on "The Dr. Phil Show" (2009)
"These straight-shooting, truth-talking, soul-baring women have their priorities right: When mom and stepmom are on the same page everyone wins, most especially the kids! If more parents could do as authors Jennifer and Carol have done, our courts would be far emptier, our kids would be far healthier and and all of our futures would be brighter!"
— Benjamin D. Garber, Ph.D., author of Keeping Kids Out Of The Middle
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Top Customer Reviews
I started reading this at lunch and read through another hour of "work" time I'm blown away. These two ladies have written a fabulous book that is solely focused on the relationship between the mom and the step mom.
In between the humor, the journal exercises, and the short quizzes is a book that will hit nearly every woman who's in a mom/step mom relationship right between the eyes. I know it did for me. A loving mental dope slap!
I was blessed to fall into a decent relationship with my husband's ex-wife and her family. It doesn't mean it's been a bed of roses. Fortunately, she and I can come together, put the kids first (and the kids are adults except for my youngest step son, who just turned 17), and do the right thing. Even with our great relationship, this book has given me my own a-ha moments!
Owning My Own Crap (I loved this chapter!)
I'm usually pretty good about owning my own stuff...and when the authors talked about this I realized that I'm still trying "look good" as a step mom. I've agonized over this because of my own self-imposed microscope and this silly false belief that my husband's ex-wife's family (ok, really, they're his family, too...long story...stay tuned) are watching me. Can someone pass the pin to pop my ego? No one is watching me!
Another thing that just made me cringe inside is how critical I've been towards my step kids' mom. At one time or another (even now) I can say "yes" to each critical statement Jennifer and Carol listed in their quiz "The Joy of Being Judgemental." I daresay, I have more WORK to do on myself!
Standing Ovation to Jennifer Newcomb Marine and Carol Marine - I believe you ladies have hit a Grand Slam!
I'm recommending this to every step mom I know and don't know!
Peggy Nolan, [...] and creator of "The Mother's Day Dare" Project
Wednesday Martin, Ph.D.
author, Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel and Act the Way We Do
In my own situation, I thought I was getting a lot out of this book at first. My husband's ex is herself remarried. She loves her daughters and has kept the conflict away from them. The divorce was mutual. Etc. It seemed like a good candidate for a decent working relationship. Reading the book opened my eyes to how the girls' mom was probably feeling about my arrival on the scene, and I started to feel a lot empathy for her. I tried really hard to adjust my behavior so as not to trigger common mom/stepmom issues, and I really tried to "own my own %#$^", as the book suggests. I also reached out a number of times, in both direct and low-key ways (asking her if she wants to have coffee, being warm at the door during drop-offs, etc). All as the book suggested.
Unfortunately, in my case it turns out that I was dealing with someone who is angry and will likely stay that way. If anything, I think my attempts to be friendly to her only made her angrier. And then when she rejected those attempts, it just made ME angry and hurt. Basically, my own optimism (drawn from the book) that this situation could improve totally backfired because I now feel rejected.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
great book. changed my life. I want to buy this for all the stepfamily friends I have in my life (is that weird? Read morePublished 6 months ago by Holly S.
I would give this 2.5 stars if that were possible. This is a very simplistic book, easy to read, with very little practical advice. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Alyx
Wow finally a book that understands both sides of the struggle . Thank you ! I Recommend this book to moms/step moms who are ready for a positive Change after years of riding the... Read morePublished 8 months ago by Lolis DD26
Great advice from bio-mom and step mom. As both, I highly recommend this book for either side - AND for the Dad in the middle of the two. Read morePublished 11 months ago by Kenyon Delk
Doesn't help at all if the other woman is, in fact, completely unreasonable and/or delusional.Published 20 months ago by Blixic