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No Visible Wounds: Identifying Non-Physical Abuse of Women by Their Men Paperback – October 8, 1996

4.6 out of 5 stars 29 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

There have been plenty of titles written about physical spousal abuse: now appreciate an unusual focus on the emotional battery of women by men. Outlines of psychological, social and economic battery used in manipulation processes make for thought-provoking chapters on recognizing and acknowledging more subtle patterns of abuse. -- Midwest Book Review --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Inside Flap

DOES YOUR PARTNER . . .
* have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?
* become jealous without reason?
* prevent you from seeing friends and family?
* deny you access to family assets such as bank accounts, credit cards, or the car?
* control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
* insult you or call you derogatory names?
* humiliate you in front of your children?
* turn minor incidents into major arguments?
If you or someone you know can answer "yes" to the questions above, chances are you are suffering from nonphysical battering--controlling, tyrannical behavior that is just as damaging to a woman's self-esteem as a broken bone or a black eye. An experienced counselor who works with abused women, Mary Susan Miller breaks the silence that surrounds this devastating form of domestic violence. She identifies the many types of nonphysical abuse verbal, emotional, psychological, social, and economic--and explores why this outrageous treatment of women continues unabated in our society.
Dr. Miller also shares the stories of many survivors who have escaped their abusive relationships. Their experiences--with law enforcement, the legal system, and the community itself--can help prepare any woman for the decision of whether to stay or leave the relationship. And if she decides to go, Dr. Miller offers sound guidelines on how to protect herself and her children, since a woman's decision to leave is usually the time she is in the most danger from her abuser.
Finally, Dr. Miller inspires hope: You can break free of the nightmare of nonphysical battering and heal, once again engaging in a life of integrity, dignity, and peace.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; Reprint edition (October 8, 1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9780449910795
  • ISBN-13: 978-0449910795
  • ASIN: 0449910792
  • Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.7 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #643,137 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
I found this book just by chance. What a fortunate accident! Miller's description of men just like my now-ex-husband amazed me. Even so, at first I considered the book kind of simple. Then the memories started coming back, from two decades of marriage. His cutting remarks and actions that left me emotionally lost suddenly made sense. My always-failing attempts to make myself better for him, to make our marriage and family better, suddenly looked preposterous. A year after reading this book, old memories still surface with a profound new perspective. No Visible Wounds is not at all simple. It is enormously enlightening and liberating. I highly recommend this book. I am giving it to my own parents, who still don't understand why I divorced him, who this cruel man (they think he's delightful and sincere) still has wrapped around his little finger.
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Format: Paperback
When I stumbled across No Visible Wounds, I felt I had found an ally in Mary Susan Miller. I have written my own book, Living On A Dream: A Marriage Tale, about my mother, a wife who fits the profile of the psychologically abused woman, as described by Dr. Miller. This book is a powerful one, a wake up call for many. Hers is a knowledgable voice about a subject that is rarely given the notice that it deserves. The problem of emotional battering has been overshadowed by the more visible problem of physical battering of women by men. No Visible Wounds is a hidden dilemma,and Mary Susan Miller's book is the important, and prehaps, the only qualitative book on the subject. Every woman should read this book, because it affects many, those who hide and deny, and those who know someone, a friend, or neighbor who lead lives of desperation. This book ranks alongside the other Dr. Miller's famous book, Alice Miller's Drama of the Gifted Child, a.k.a., Prisoners of Childhood.
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Format: Hardcover
As a counselor in the field of domestic violence, specifically working with women's groups, I feel I've finally found a thorough explanation of men's non-physical abuse of women in our society. Dr. Miller does a phenomenal job of peeling the onion, i.e. defining and explaining all the convoluted reasoning behind men who control women by any means necessary. Dr. Miller calls this behavior what it is ABUSE. She points out that we are socialized to deny and accept and cover up domestic abuse. My favorite line is her description of our society's response to domestic violence, including non-physical abuse, as one of "learned helplessness". This book is enlightening for those who work with women in abusive relationships, for the women themselves and for all of us living in a culture that creates, reinforces and perpetuates abuse against women.
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Format: Paperback
This book makes apparent what those in charge of prison camps have known all along. Psychological abuse is more debilitating than physical abuse. If you even think you are in an abusive relationship or if you feel you have an adult child in one, read this book. It won't make it all go away but understanding is the first step to healing.
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Format: Paperback
I knew there was something wrong with my marriage, but couldn't put my finger on it. This book opened my eyes and woke me up! I have to be honest, I cannot tell you much about the quality of Mary Susan Miller's writing style, I was too busy trying to absorb all the information.

Please don't hesitate to buy it; the price is small compared to the knowledge you will gain. I read this book cover to cover, then read it one more time and passed it on to my daughter. I'm going to buy a copy for my Mom, and one for each of my sisters. I feel this information is of value to every woman, no matter what kind of relationship she is in.
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By A Customer on January 4, 2003
Format: Paperback
My copy of this book is dog-eared. It was the most helpful printed material I read as I fled from my abusive marriage the final time.
Mary Susan Miller writes with incredible insight and sensitivity, and effectively identifies the complexities of nonphysical battering. If you are in an abusive relationship, get this book. If you have a friend in an abusive relationship, get it for her. If neither of the above apply, donate a copy to your local Domestic Violence Shelter. Every abused woman should have a copy.
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Format: Paperback
This book is the ONLY book that describes the verbal/emotional
abuse of "Gaslighting", psychological abuse that subtly debilitates and destroys a person's mind. The worst abuse is a man stealing his wife's personal items and telling his wife that "something is wrong" with their child,then asking the wife to question the and spank the child for stealing--- and then telling the child to "not upset Mommy because she is crazy and can't help it". This torture has been used to steal family money, to destroy a mother/child relationship and to ensure that the wife come under complete control of the husband. Read this book if you have been abused severely. It is of help to know that others exist.
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Format: Paperback
I was married to an emotional, physcological and financial abuser. Reading this book helped me understand his motivations and my responses in a way that counseling did not. For years I could not understand why he did the things he did, but this book helped me see things in a different way and I was able to get some closure. The last chapter made me cry. Finally someone other than my therapist understood my feelings, what I went through and was now experiencing, after the marriage had ended. This is a must read for women who have lived with abuse and their friends and family. If you have never been in an abusive relationship, believe me, you cannot understand what it is like. This book will give you great insight into what your friend or family member is experiencing. I applaud Ms. Miller for wanting raise the awareness level of the damage and pervasiveness of emotional abuse. That is the first step towards stopping it.
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