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Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life Paperback – September 1, 2003

by Marshall B. Rosenberg (Author), Arun Gandhi (Foreword)

655 customer reviews

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Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, 3rd Edition: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)
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Do you hunger for skills to improve the quality of your relationships, to deepen your sense of personal empowerment or to simply communicate more effectively? Unfortunately, for centuries our culture has taught us to think and speak in ways that can actually perpetuate conflict, internal pain and even violence. Nonviolent Communication partners practical skills with a powerful consciousness and vocabulary to help you get what you want peacefully.

In this internationally acclaimed text, Marshall Rosenberg offers insightful stories, anecdotes, practical exercises and role-plays that will dramatically change your approach to communication for the better. Discover how the language you use can strengthen your relationships, build trust, prevent conflicts and heal pain. Revolutionary, yet simple, Nonviolent Communication offers you the most effective tools to reduce violence and create peace in your life—one interaction at a time.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

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Product Details

Paperback: 222 pages
Publisher: Puddledancer Press; 2nd edition (September 1, 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1892005034
ISBN-13: 978-1892005038
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 15 ounces
Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (655 customer reviews)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #13,317 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #26 in Books > Reference > Words, Language & Grammar > Communication
- #175 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations
- #734 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling

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Top Customer Reviews

Profound! The most important book I've ever read.

ByRachelle Lambon December 17, 2003

Format: Paperback

Initially I thought this book wouldn't be relevant to me since I didn't consider myself a "violent" communicator. A few pages into the book however, it became evident to me that despite my easy-going nature, I had much to learn about communication. Dr. Rosenberg identifies learned communication that disconnects us from each other and is at the very root of violence. He then offers a simple yet powerful 4 step model that leads to respectful and compassionate communication. One catch - while the model is simple, it can be challenging to apply, especially when we're upset. That's because most of us have learned to blame others when we're upset and it's hard to unlearn this behavior. However, use of the model deepens our awareness and it becomes very clear how destructive our habitual knee-jerk reactions are to both ourselves and others. The Nonviolent Communication model helps us to become conscious and choose to respond differently - that is in ways that are more likely to lead to positive and satisfying outcomes for everyone. If you'd like to transform your relationships, for example: learn how to really listen to others while not taking anything you hear personally (what a gift!), learn how to give and receive in ways that are deeply gratifying, and much more, this is a must read. Also, this model is applicable in all relationship types - perfect for couples, parents, teachers, managers, executives, counselors and anyone else interested in relationship building.
On a personal note, this book has been life-changing for me. I have witnessed truly amazing results in all my relationships including one relationship which had been a great struggle for me for many years.

0Comment 365 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

New edition's chapter on self-compassion well worth reading

ByAmazon Customeron December 27, 2003

Format: Paperback

In November, 2000, I read the previous edition of this book...The quality of empathy I now am able to provide has enlivened my therapy practice, and meets my need for hope that I can contribute to the well being of my clients, and also connect deeply with my friends and family. The step-by-step empathy skills in this book are learnable by anyone..
This latest edition of Dr. Rosenberg's book has a completely new chapter called, "Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves." It's about what he calls, "self-compassion." He writes, "When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others." I enjoyed this chapter because it helped me translate my self-judgments into statements of my own unmet needs. I now see that when I am angry with myself it is because my actions were not in harmony with my values. Seeing things from this perspective helps me mourn my action and move into self-forgiveness by connecting with the specfic need I was trying to meet when I used a strategy that I now regret. I particularly enjoyed the section on translating "have-to" into "choose-to." The exercise showed me how to locate the choice in what I do, by connecting with the need, want, or value each activity serves. I find I have more energy, more compassion when I experience choice in my life.

33 comments 192 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Good material, but presentation leaves a bit to be desired

ByThomas Hochmannon April 6, 2004

Format: Paperback

I borrowed this book from the local library after it caught my eye, sitting on the "new books" display. It's a pretty good book, although I do have some reservations about it.
/Nonviolent Communication/ is a rather easy read. This is both good and bad - good, because you're not slogging through lots of academia-speak and technical jargon; but also bad because you might breeze through the book too quickly to truly absorb the rather useful and insightful information it is offering.
The idea behind the NVC process is rather simple - it's mostly about learning to be more precise in expressing your feelings, their cause(s), and what you would like done to resolve them. Rather than saying "you never clean the !@#$ kitchen," the NVC approach would be to say something along the lines of: "When you do not take out the trash in the kitchen, I feel __________." And so on. NVC also encourages you to be receptive to what other people are saying and feeling, even if (or perhaps especially if) they do not word things with as much precision and care.
The approach is very sound, but I have reservations about the way the book presents it. Most of the example conversations are so unbelievably robotic, at times I just wanted to laugh out loud at how absurd they were. My initial thought was that I was being unreasonable - after all, they're just words on a page, and perhaps they would seem less laughable in person with real emotion behind them. And then I realized that was the key that was missing - the conversations were little other than the facts of the situation, and the exact words the people said. There was no emotional context, no insight into the feelings that were being expressed. I found this to be extremely ironic. A book about expressing emotions, with lots of examples that HAD no emotion!
I think if you can get beyond the rather mediocre examples, and put genuine *thought* into the principles the author outlines, you will find much of value in the book. Before reading /Nonviolent Communication/, I didn't think much about how the imprecision in our wording can cause a great deal of conflict. "You are so inconsiderate!" versus "When you leave your dirty dinner plate on the table and go watch football, I feel very angry. Would you please rinse the plate and put it in the dishwasher?" It's a world of difference, and I believe there is much benefit to this approach.
Final thought: there's a lot of good stuff in this book, but the presentation could use some work. Read the book carefully, and do not go as quickly as the breezy writing style allows - the material here needs careful consideration for it to truly benefit you.

2424 comments 412 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

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A really helpful book

Published 13 days ago by Sara Said This....

Insightful and constructive

Very insightful on how to lead a team with high morale and camaraderie. Great book to adhere to in corporate discussions with peers and superiors too, on how to present your view...Read more

Published 18 days ago by TechnoFreak

a good choice

I feel this is goodon CD and love listening to it. Clearly a good buy

Published 1 month ago by JoyKind

please buy this and share it with your friends

wish more people would read this book. I love it.

Published 1 month ago by Stuart L. Chambers

Five Stars

Excellent source to help us grow within ourselves and with others we interact with.

Published 1 month ago by carole dlouhy

Good read

Rosenberg points out that the way we respond verbally to others often is with language that is hostile or violent.Read more

Published 1 month ago by John G. Chase, Jr.

Five Stars

Should be in every school's curriculum.

Published 1 month ago by Rania Hanna

A Handbook for Effective Comminication

Changing the way we talk with and listen to others is not an easy task. Yet if there were a way to listen to others and to express yourself that was more compassionate AND more...Read more

Published 2 months ago by Trudy

Five Stars

Great concept- wish I had known about this form of communication years ago.

Published 2 months ago by Karen

Solid, Effective

I enjoyed reading this book several years ago. Since then I've sincerely tried to apply the principles as far as I internalized them.Read more

Published 2 months ago by MichaelWright-Author

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Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life Paperback – September 1, 2003

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