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Jane Ward

Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men (Sexual Cultures, 19) Paperback – July 31, 2015

by Jane Ward (Author)

4.1 218 ratings

Part of: Sexual Cultures (53 books)

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A different look at heterosexuality in the twenty-first century

A straight white girl can kiss a girl, like it, and still call herself straight―her boyfriend may even encourage her. But can straight white guys experience the same easy sexual fluidity, or would kissing a guy just mean that they are really gay? Not Gay thrusts deep into a world where straight guy-on-guy action is not a myth but a reality: there’s fraternity and military hazing rituals, where new recruits are made to grab each other’s penises and stick fingers up their fellow members’ anuses; online personal ads, where straight men seek other straight men to masturbate with; and, last but not least, the long and clandestine history of straight men frequenting public restrooms for sexual encounters with other men. For Jane Ward, these sexual practices reveal a unique social space where straight white men can―and do―have sex with other straight white men; in fact, she argues, to do so reaffirms rather than challenges their gender and racial identity.

Ward illustrates that sex between straight white men allows them to leverage whiteness and masculinity to authenticate their heterosexuality in the context of sex with men. By understanding their same-sex sexual practice as meaningless, accidental, or even necessary, straight white men can perform homosexual contact in heterosexual ways. These sex acts are not slippages into a queer way of being or expressions of a desired but unarticulated gay identity. Instead, Ward argues, they reveal the fluidity and complexity that characterizes all human sexual desire. In the end, Ward’s analysis offers a new way to think about heterosexuality―not as the opposite or absence of homosexuality, but as its own unique mode of engaging in homosexual sex, a mode characterized by pretense, dis-identification and racial and heterosexual privilege. Daring, insightful, and brimming with wit, Not Gay is a fascinating new take on the complexities of heterosexuality in the modern era.

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Sexual Cultures
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240 pages
Language

English
Publication date

July 31, 2015
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6 x 0.63 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

9781479825172
ISBN-13

978-1479825172
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"[Ward] shows that homosexual contact has been a regular feature of heterosexual life ever since the concepts of homo- and heterosexuality were first created -- not just in prisons and frat houses and the military, but in biker gangs and even conservative suburban neighborhoods." - New York Magazine

"[Ward] has arrived at an interesting conclusion: straight men - specifically white men - are having sex with other men to affirm just how straight they are, because to be straight and still be able to perform 'gay sex' - while always remaining uninterested - is the height of white masculinity." - The Guardian

"So readily visible are the pieces of evidence she amasses, and so surprising are her conclusions, that reading Not Gay is like doing a Magic Eye puzzle for the mind: All the dots you'd never before put together suddenly snap into place, allowing you to see just how hot for other men some straight men are." - Vice

"Jane Ward...has written what may be the definitive (or perhaps the only) book on [this] subject." - Breitbart

"Jane Ward...[has] penetrated the internet with one of those ideas that people were maybe thinking but just weren't saying: Male sexuality is as fluid as female sexuality... Ward's idea that our cultural understanding of men's sexuality has been way too simplistic for way too long is fundamentally sound and refreshing. Ward's reach suggests she's well on her way to enacting the change she intended with her writing." - Gawker

About the Author

Jane Ward is Professor of Feminist Studies at University of California Santa Barbara. She is the author of The Tragedy of Heterosexuality, Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men, and Respectably Queer: Diversity Culture in LGBT Activist Organizations.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 1479825174
Publisher ‏ : ‎ NYU Press; First Edition (July 31, 2015)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9781479825172
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1479825172
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.63 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #286,067 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #357 in Psychology & Counseling Books on Sexuality
- #393 in LGBTQ+ Demographic Studies
- #653 in General Gender Studies

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4.1 218 ratings

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Jane Ward

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Jane Ward (janewardphd.com) is professor of Gender and Sexuality Studies at University of California Riverside, where she teaches courses in feminist, queer, and heterosexuality studies. She is the author of The Tragedy of Heterosexuality (2020), Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (2015), and Respectably Queer: Diversity Culture in LGBT Activist Organizations (2008).

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4.1 out of 5

218 global ratings

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Matt

Don't judge a book by its cover (literally)

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 1, 2023

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Let me be blunt: I bought this book as a gay male because it had two attractive guys on the cover and talked about sex with straight men. Tell me more, I thought!

I knew I wasn't quite getting a how-to manual, but I didn't expect it to be as much of a work of academic research as it was. As a scholarly work, it is probably excellent. But that's not what I thought I was buying, and it seems like I'm not the first to make this mistake.

The premise of the book, quoting from page 5: "[I]n the chapters that follow, I am going to amplify this premise by suggesting that homosexuality is an often invisible, but nonetheless vital ingredient—a constitutive element—of heterosexual masculinity. Taking sexual contact between straight white men as my point of departure, my aim is to offer a new way to think about heterosexual subjectivity—not as the opposite of absence of homosexuality, but as its own unique mode of engaging homosexual sex, a mode characterized by pretense, disidentification, and heteronormative investments. In particular,I am going to argue that when straight white men approach homosexual sex in the "right" way—when they make a show of enduring it, imposing it, and repudiating it—doing so functions to bolster not only their heterosexuality, but also their masculinity and whiteness."

This is a really interesting premise, and it's well supported with extensive citations and informative footnotes. If I were to rate the book based on the thesis it sets out to address, it'd be an easy 5/5. But if I were rating it based on how well it met my expectations, I'd have to go with a lower score. I'm splitting the difference and going with 4 stars. If you're considering purchasing the book, I'd encourage you to set your expectations based on the paragraph above, not the photo on the cover.

Helpful

Donald C Barrett

Ward: A map for disentangling sexual behavior and sexual identity

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 22, 2015

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The premise of Ward's work rests on challenging the common assumption, by both straights and gays, that two straight-identified guys fooling around sexually are either gay or wannabe gays. As Ward discusses, there are a range of situations where there is public willingness to think of such sexuality as being not an indicator of an underlying 'gay': that the sex could be from needing relief when the opposite sex isn't available (e.g., prison, single-sex institutions), as teenage/young adults exploring, or as something akin to sexual abuse. But Ward's work points out that: 1) these reasons ('excuses') serve to trivialize sexual agency, and 2) the existence of these 'excuses' is closely woven in with current essentialist, normative, and identity assumptions about sexual variation. Since discussion of these assumptions is the core of the book, I'll not attempt to summarize Ward's excellent discussion of them, but will note here my own reasons for agreeing with her challenges to those assumptions.

By way of addressing Ward's linking of these 'excuses' to gay cultural/political assumptions, I'll share Ward's practice of illustrating the personal understanding of the research by using my own observations and reflections as additional 'data'. As an older (retired) gay male academic who has spent most of his life in urban, gay-identified, centers, I have a regular need to get away from the confining structures that urban life places on the people I interact with. Traveling around remote portions of the Inter-mountain West, I visit natural hot springs and similar rural swimming holes whenever I can. In those situations I frequently encounter men, ranging in age from 20's to 70's, who clearly identify as straight but enjoy some male-male sexual interaction.

My observations from those interactions, plus from 40+ years experience as gay activist/academic, have reinforced my critique of the contemporary gay political movement as far too often conflating identity with behavior, and as investing too much in the assumption that all same-sex activity is an indication of struggling to develop a sense of self (an identity) as gay or bi. Having watched young men struggle with coming out, but also having talked with and observed men of various ages who are comfortably straight but interact sexually with other men, it's clear that sexual activity and identity are not necessarily related. For some, the identity is important and that is a struggle, but for many others, sex just happens in all sorts of forms with a variety of partners.

Of course, embedded in the assertion that sexual partner mixing 'just happens' are two issues that are problematic for contemporary sexual politics: 1) choice, and 2) assimilation. While Ward's arguments draw into question the beliefs by some that same-sex behavior and same-sex identity are biologically hardwired, there is nothing in Ward's work that refutes the fact that both same-sex behavior and identity are frequently engaged/enacted when the participants clearly know that doing so can result in serious consequences (e.g., arrest) or, in some cultures, death. Clearly a wide range of factors result in behaviors and self-definitions that, while not biologically determined, are 'hardwired'.

Regarding assimilation, dominant in contemporary gay politics is a normative paradigm that assumes that if we just had marriages rights, our sexuality would be much like the idealized, dyadic, romanticized, image of heterosexual sexuality. Ward is right that the normative pressures in LGB culture create an investment in NOT acknowledging the same-sex activity of straight-identified and hetero-active men, just as the normative pressures create discomfort with acknowledging the fact that sexual behavior in general does not following the romanticized ideal. Fortunately there are multiple authors besides Ward who are arguing that the gay marriage model excludes far too many.

Before closing, it's important to address three other issues that are likely to arise with Ward's work:

Whiteness: Ward focuses on the experiences of white men. This tactic makes sense given that cultural assumptions about gay sexuality and particularly about sexual identity are based largely on assumptions about the sexuality of white gay men with, as Ward explains, non-white men being treated largely as MSM (men who have sex with men), not as gay. I wish, though, that Ward had addressed more explicitly the embeddedness of class in the culture's focus on 'whiteness' and 'white sexuality', since the cultural definition of whiteness is very class based.

“Sexual violence:” The quotes here are intentional. Ward acknowledges that same-sex sexual hazing rituals and similar activities are likely to be subjectively experienced by many as being akin to degrading rape. BUT, she admirably takes the risk of drawing the comparison to S&M and arguing for the positive acknowledgment of the agentic pleasure that may be experienced by some when in the submissive role.

Data: Concerns have been publicly raised about the data that forms a part of Ward's argument. Her analysis of Craigslist postings is used to illustrate the issues involved, but the argument built by Ward goes far beyond the Craigslist postings. Craigslist postings are clearly not the best source for understanding straight-identified same-sex activity, and I disagree with some of her analysis of that, but using that is a reasonable option given the lack of data on the phenomenon. Unfortunately, a fair amount of the publicity for the book focuses on the Craigslist data, which I feel misrepresents the breadth of Ward's argument.

Conclusion:

Having spent years challenging assumptions about class, whiteness, identity, and sexual expression among the same-sex active, I can attest that the issues Ward has taken on make very many uncomfortable, both general population gays as well as sex scholars. My largest critique of Ward is that, for the key audience of sexual rights activists, the book ends with a blank space – what to do next? The conclusion I drew from the book was a strong need for a push for rights for sexual behavior, regardless of any connection to identity. Ward doesn't provide any guidelines for such a political shift, but she has played an important part in laying the groundwork for a focus on sexual behavior rights.

29 people found this helpful

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Hu(man)

More Misandry

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on August 19, 2015

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The premise of Professor Ward's book is "that homosexual contact is a ubiquitous feature of straight white men" (p. 7). Following in the wake of Michael Kimmel's "Guyland" and "Angry White Men" (not cited), this is the work of an author who "in the late 1990s ... was a young dyke who would occasionally date boring straight men, especially after a difficult queer breakup" (p. 1). It is not clear why this should be relevant, but as one reads past the first sentence of the book, it becomes so as the author joins Professor Kimmel in the tendency known as misandry (disparagement of males). "Research" upon which the author's conclusion (not offered as an idea to be explored but as a position to be advocated) is meager and drawn from interviews with fewer than 200 young males 18-23 in the States and the UK (sources cited: Eric Anderson, Ritch Savin Williams). Professor Ward is fascinated by college fraternity hazing, in particular a ritual known as the "elephant walk" which she takes to be a form of homosexual interaction. It is not, but the author's thesis depends on seeing it as such. For the rest, the text is identifiably contemporary gender sociology, interlarded with terms such as postmodern sexuality, sexual constitution, sexual fluidity, theories of the closet, lens, heteropatriarchal, heteroflexibility, scripts, heteroexceptionalism, etc. The cover is an image of two shirtless young males, which should attract viewers. The reader learns about the author's life (she is "a new parent" of a girl and the author's "partner," the woman to whom the book is dedicated, pp. v, ix). Readers should borrow library copy to sample how disparagement of white men currently masquerades as research in sociology.

26 people found this helpful

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Marcus

The author makes a good case for there being no real boundaries where sexual ...

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on March 18, 2017

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As a straight male I guess I will be in a minority reading this book. What it seems to be saying is that sexuality is really about power. The straight men who allow themselves to be abused or who take part in the abuse of others are seeking to join communities they believe to be powerful. As the Romans might have said: where sex is concerned what matters is who is on top. The author makes a good case for there being no real boundaries where sexual preferences and behaviour are involved but what would be interesting would be a section about non-sexual male/male relationships. My best friend at university was gay but he never came on to me because 'you don't do it with your friends'. Civilisation has been built on the capacity of men to work together but lovers tend to be selfish and/or jealous - not the best formula for building pyramids or conquering empires!

5 people found this helpful

Musicals Fan

Well written and very informative

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on October 29, 2018

Verified Purchase

As a therapist I found this book very helpful to understand a subject I struggled with - ie Sex between straight men.
In recent months I have come to see gender and sexuality in a whole new light. The more I read the more I feel comfortable with none-binary identity and the rigidity (and unhelpful) gay/straight labels. We live in a world of diversity not conformity - lets embrace others and try to understand them and not reject them!

One person found this helpful

Trevor Flaxman

Straight men have sex with each other

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on August 11, 2020

Verified Purchase

This is a book about a subject no one thinks can be true. However from what I have read in other sources, and from personal experience, I can say that male sexuality like female is more flexible, and this an excellent book that shows this.

martin howard

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on March 31, 2018

Verified Purchase

Ok

One person found this helpful

Cliente Amazon

Muito interessante, didático e orientador.

Reviewed in Brazil 🇧🇷 on October 10, 2015

Verified Purchase

Comecei a ler este livro há uma semana e estou gostando muito. Poderei com esta leitura entender mais sobre o instinto animal sexual do homem, que, mesmo preferindo mulheres, quando necessitados de sexo e desejando algo diferente e ao mesmo tempo na igualidade de gênero, transa com outro homem, comportamento comum na antiguidade romana e grega. Excitante!

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