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Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity Paperback – February 3, 2004
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From Publishers Weekly
Refusing to pander to audiences expecting Dr. Phil-type quick fixes, Glass (who has appeared on Oprah herself) chooses "a new, fact-based, scientifically and therapeutically responsible approach" to a subject she contends is fraught with public and professional misconceptions. Drawing on research studies (her own and others') and clinical cases from her 25 years as a psychotherapist, she explores "the new crisis of infidelity" resulting from platonic relationships that become progressively intense. Personal and professional friendships between men and women have become so prevalent and accepted that, according to Glass, even "good" people in "good" marriages can be swept away in a riptide of emotional intimacy more potent than sheer sexual attraction. Glass scrutinizes affairs and offers well-defined guidelines, including tips for determining how vulnerable individuals and relationships are to temptation, and prescriptions for keeping relationships "safe," repairing betrayal-induced damages and recovering from the trauma. Glass's credentials and commitment lend this book credence as a valuable resource; Staeheli's easy, personable style and the well-organized format make it user-friendly, too.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Michele Weiner-Davis author of The Sex-Starved Marriage So illuminating, instructive, down-to-earth, and inspiring that it truly transforms lives. Since no marriage -- including yours -- is immune to infidelity, this book is a godsend.
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples NOT ' Just Friends' puts a new face on infidelity. The author, using clinical experience and current research, broadens its definition, causes, and means of resolution. I recommend it for anyone considering an affair, in an affair, or recovering from an affair.
Pat Love, Ed.D. author of The Truth About Love and Hot Monogamy A must-read for anyone whoever hopes to be happy in long-term relationship.
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She also covers how and why the betrayed spouse needs to piece together the past to understand what was real and what was false in their life and marriage - putting the pieces of the puzzle together and how important it is for the infidel spouse to help in that process. The book covers everything from the trends in the last 10 years rise of women in the work place, electronic communications, etc. and impact on infidelity and the myth that it only happens in bad marriages. She then moves through how infidelity occurs, how to protect against it, discovery, deciding to stay or split and reconciliation / rebuilding including communication coaching for the spouses that chose to rebuild their "shattered vase with super glue" to make their marriage stronger and better than before.
If the author could add something, it would be nice to touch on the meaning of specifics in affairs. For example, what does it mean that an infidel spouse never intends to divorce yet takes photos with their lover, which sooner or later will be found (self-destructive, wants to be left but won't actively leave). Also, what about revenge affairs? This isn't covered in the book. Many betrayed spouses feel it's only fair to revenge affair or to create a plan-B in case the marriage doesn't work out. It would be nice if the author would expand on these topics
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1/ It is good if you really want to understand what happen when "THIS PROBLEM" happen in your Relationship
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