Nude Nuns with Big Guns [Blu-ray]
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This is a little indie film that can. It is in the vain of the 1970's exploitation films that have recently made a resurgence under the category "Grind-House". For those of you who don't know...they are called 'Grind-House' because back in the day...the only place the producers of these films could get them shown where in porn theaters and strip clubs (or grind houses).
There have been a lot of these films coming out lately...and I'm pretty pleased with that fact. I love the Blaxsploitation, Pinky Violence, and Roger Corman stuff, among others, so much that having modern fresh takes and ideas is just plain fun for me. (believe it or not...there is even a category called Nunsploitation...and this can easily fit into that category) Now surely...just as in the past, a lot of these films are turkeys and barely worth viewing once...at least barely worth viewing while not intoxicated. Lucky for me...and you...as you seem you may have an interest in this film, "Nude Nuns with Big Guns" is not one of those. This is the little indie that could. It is loaded with everything that makes a grind house film fun...hot babes, crazy action, and a bit of over the top exploitative film making. "Nuns" sets itself apart with it's clever direction, great looking cinematography, and pretty solid acting, the colors pop on the blu ray. This film is just a hoot. It is not for faint of heart...or the too conservative...but if you like you're guns blazing, and your corruption raunchy..this is the film for you. I walked into this film thinking it would be a one off..and a wasted night...I've seen it several times sense...it is just outrageous. If you want a quick splash of crazy in your life..in the vein of "Nun of That", "Machete", "Mrs. 45"...and other timeless pieces of celluloid wackiness then "Nude Nuns with big guns is not to be missed. Get it for the bottom shelf of your collection..you will not be sorry.
I tripped across this diamond in the rough on cable channel 69666. Since I am bizarre by everyone's standards except my own I will take a moment to explain that when I am not out pretending to be like everyone else, I subsist on a diet of junk food and sexploitation movies...Oh wait, that IS when I'm pretending to be like everyone else...Never mind.
NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS---the title says it all. If you're a devout Catholic you may want to move to Vatican City in order to avoid this film, or otherwise accept the fact that you're going to hell just for being on this webpage.
A Mexican drug gang (Los Muertos = The Dead), led by a nun-raping murderous slugcharmer named Chavo, is being funded and supplied with cocaine by a corrupt Monsignor and his Churchly underlings who are using well-morphinated nude nuns to cut the stuff and mule it around in their habits (when they are wearing any between bouts of gratuitous lesbianism). The nunnery is being run by a fleshily repulsive penguin named Mother Magda, who also keeps the local brothel and strip club staffed with her little sisters of mercy.
After being shot full of smack and encountering the Angel of The Lord in her delirium, Sister Sarah finally has enough. Sarah listens to the Lord's command. She becomes a one-nun vigilante. Armed with pistols, shotguns, and a Thompson Submachine Gun she takes vengeance on all evildoers within her firing radius. It's Ash Wednesday Gone Wild as Sarah leaves powder burns on forehead after forehead. Saying that NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS is violent is like saying that Heinz makes 57 Varieties.Read more ›
Asun Ortega stars as Sister Sarah, the nun on the cover, who, after taking her vows finds that the Lord's work isn't exactly how she pictured it would be. Forced by the church elders to pack cocaine (and do so in the nude, of course), she then acts as a mule to transport the drugs to the local distributors, a motorcycle gang known as Los Muertos. The deal goes bad, and Sister Sarah is sold into prostitution and hooked on heroin. During one of her trips, she evidently (it's never shown) hears a message from God, one inspiring her to seek vengeance for herself and for her sisters.
Like I said, I expected a comedy, even if it was going to be a sleazy one, but everyone plays it straight here. You get a lot of nudity, rapes, murders, lesbianism; as much as possible for the director (Joseph Guzman) to throw on the screen it seems, so if that's your thing, then you are going to love this movie. That probably won't come as a surprise if you've already watched his first film, Run Bitch Run. He also gives extra attention to disrespecting the church's conventions (again, not surprising given his previous movie), even over and above the little synopsis I gave, so if you think that would make you uncomfortable, then you should avoid this film at all costs. With the title, you might think that was obvious, but the amount of anger leveled at the clergy's corruption is beyond even what's suggested there.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
OMG, This one I had a lot of hope in, but sadly it's just a really bad, low budget movie and I wished I would of just said No...!Published 1 month ago by God-Of-Lyf
This was one of the most outrageously bizarre movies I ever watched. Felt a little guilty watching it being a reformed Catholic, but have passed it around and all my friends love... Read morePublished 5 months ago by Patrickj Fennell
Dont get offended.remember a movie is made of anything that u can imagine.this is rough but have an open mind.Published 5 months ago by john shustar
The title alone will be off-putting to some, however the acting, while definitely over-the-top, fits the subject matter of the film, especially that of the lead character played by... Read morePublished 8 months ago by Marc Filippone