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Obscene Thoughts: A Pornographer's Perspective on Sex, Love, and Dating Paperback – June 13, 2013
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Top Customer Reviews
I'm a guy who's read a lot of evolutionary psychology, and I thought this was pretty good. The problem was that I already knew most of what was in the book, although most people probably don't. I was hoping for some kind of reconciliation and solution to the battle-of-the-sexes mentality, but the author is even more cynical than I am.
If you've read authors like David Buss, websites like bakadesuyo, and "manosphere" stuff like the red pill or roissy(heartiste), you are probably decently well-versed in the concepts this book proposes... Although this book has a more palatable tone, it still felt like reading the redpill subreddit, albeit with less fluff.
I would have liked more focus on what the porn industry taught him, because that is his unique selling point. The stuff about abused women being promiscuous could have used more citation and elaboration. A lot of the book seemed to be sort of anecdotal or inferred, which is still valid, but not ideal. However, I think evo-psych in general is plagued by over-reliance on surveys and difficulty of performing empirical research. I wouldn't have minded if the author had blatantly thrown in many more anecdotes, as long as he was clear that that's all they were.
I'm curious how the author intends to proceed with relationships now that he has written a book which blatantly and repeatedly tells men to cheat but lie about it. The fact that he would shoot himself in the foot by writing such a book makes me wonder whether he is more idealistic than he lets on. (Prioritizing honesty and the search for truth over his own reproductive success?Read more ›
A Pornographer’s Perspective on Sex, Love and Dating. By Dave Pounder.
As I read this book on my iPad, someone asked me what I was reading. ( a woman) and I told her. Instantly she wrinkled her nose and said, “Why are you reading that? Wait, I know why.” A huge spark of debate could have ensued as at first I felt like I had to defend myself for reading something that was NOT, pornographic… This was one of those instances where the book was being judged by its title. Now I admit I was skeptical at first, but the truth is I was pleasantly surprised. I know, you’re thinking, “You man” of course you’re pleasantly surprised. But seriously, the author does an amazing job, balancing the subject of what men and women both want out of sex, and what drives them towards the goal. It’s an argument as old as time. A romance writer once said to me. “Women give sex to get love while men give love to get sex.” That statement while bold is true.
The author, a former actor in the adult film industry, has a true insight to how both genders approach sex. An interesting example is: Women in the adult film industry didn’t care what the male actors looked like, their age, if they were built or fat…so long as they got their required pay rate. To them…it was a job.
Where the men, would take a pay cut or half their rate to do a scene with a woman who was exceptionally attractive. This was no surprise to me because guys are easily visually stimulated.
The book goes on to go into great detail the mental arguments, statistics, and pros and cons of why sex is such a hang up for most Americans.Read more ›
How many ways can this author be wrong?Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Yes, you get an intelligent and thoughtful (and sometimes even funny) thorough-going analysis of men, women and men-and-women. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Jacques Laroque
A candid, humorous analysis of the market forces at play in male and female relationships.Published 5 months ago by Peter
The title of this book gave me the impression that its emphasis would be on sex and pornography. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it was as much about relationships... Read morePublished 9 months ago by Glen Chern
I was expecting to be highly entertained by this book but after just a few pages found myself bored. Read morePublished 11 months ago by Chris in Denver
This book puts out there what most women refuse to admit -- that male sexuality, not individual male choice, is what drives infidelity and male desire for multiple sex partners. Read morePublished 11 months ago by Patricia Boekhout