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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls Paperback – January 1, 2003

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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

Language

English
Publisher

Mariner Books
Publication date

January 1, 2003
Dimensions

5.31 x 0.75 x 8 inches
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Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0013L2DZ0
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Mariner Books; 1St Edition (January 1, 2003)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.31 x 0.75 x 8 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #4,335,171 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #10,259 in Popular Social Psychology & Interactions
- #92,280 in Mental Health (Books)

Customer Reviews:
345 ratings

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4 star		13%
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1 star		2%

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AverageJoeReview

Must read for Dads and Teachers

Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2019

Verified Purchase

I am a 44 year old Dad with a 12 year old girl. As a man with long term best friends relational aggression was not even on my radar. I didn’t comprehend it. When my girl would tell me about girls being mean pinching, pushing, kicking shins, silent treatments, etc. I didn’t think anyone could treat another person that way. My daughter is honestly smart, beautiful, athletic, funny as hell and really creative. But I fell into the trap of saying what did my girl do to deserve this. I blamed the victim. No one could possibly treat another like this unless they did something to deserve it. How wrong I was. 7th grade has come. The rumors and lies, nasty texts etc are happening. Thanks to this book I am supporting my girl and understand a little more how the dynamics work. I love my daughter even more knowing how strong she has been dealing with things. Please read this book. Also don’t get overly involved. Empower your girl to handle it. Trust she is a strong courageous girl and trust she will get through it.

41 people found this helpful

Helpful

Don J

Review for men

Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2017

Verified Purchase

If you are a man seeking to understand why the woman you love has found herself cast out of a group, or if you want to understand your teenage daughter's challenges to forming long lasting friendships.

Or if you are wondering how you ended up in the middle of a conflict with no idea how to help either side.

This book was very revealing to me.

30 people found this helpful

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Barbara L

Oh My God

Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2014

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The writing is exquisite, but the subject matter is gut-retching: girl aggression. I loved the way the author used language to emphasize the seriousness of what she is communicating: “girl version of a stealth bomber” (p 69), “silent and smooth as a marble” (p75), “conflicts hang like leaking gas in the air” (p 69). As I read the book and its truth hit me, all I could think is, “How did I survive?” and “This is why I am how I am”. My reaction seems similar to the author’s and some of the person’s she includes in her book. It seems that many of us—girls and grown women—have reached the same conclusions as a result of the aggressive behavior we experienced as students: we stopped trusting parents (p53) and other authority figures such as teachers; we don’t trust women (p. 55); we believe that people can and do erase people (p79); and, school can’t be trusted to protect its students (p115). The author reveals that females aren’t taught how to create relationships nor are we taught that conflict is natural. We aren't taught that there are mean people and toxic friends/relationships. The basic problem seems to be that girls/women are taught to be one way, but, in the real world, an opposite way is required. The author spends two chapters giving detailed instruction and examples of how parents can help their daughters deal with hidden aggression. She, also, discusses how teachers can spot and deal with covert aggression. She writes about modern day instruments of torture: FaceBook, sexting and other means of delivering attacks. All parents, no matter how perfect they think their daughters or the schools of their daughters, need to carefully read, and then use the information given in this book. Doing this could save their daughters much concern and possible damage.

49 people found this helpful

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Lynn Hobby

A MUST READ

Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2019

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As an elementary school teacher, I recommend this book to every parent and teacher. I first read this when my daughter was in middle school. I wasn’t teaching then. Recently I ordered two more copies to keep in my personal lending library. I love that it’s updated to include the role of social networks.

9 people found this helpful

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Tabitha

Ok, Couldnt Help but to Put it Down a Dozen Times

Reviewed in the United States on January 15, 2019

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A book written about a very important social dynamic. However, it was written in such a way that it could not hold my attention. It was laborous to read. I have been picking it up over the pass 3 yrs and I am a reading teacher.

5 people found this helpful

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BR

a MUST READ for EVERY parent of daughters ages 11 - 18‼️

Reviewed in the United States on November 12, 2017

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Odd Girl Out, a book originally introduced on the OPRAH SHOW with the then grown women who were the “BULLIES” in high school and junior high/middle school. Thes, now adult women, expressed regret over their behavior when they were younger.

This is a MUST READ for EVERY parent of daughters AGES 11 - 18 and school teachers of those ages. Odd Girl Out gave me insights into my students’ behavior when I was teaching middle school.

Unlike boys who may settle their differences physically and then move on, girls who bully leave EMOTIONAL SCARS which can follow the bully and especially the victim into adulthood.

Bully may be the wrong term here, since often it is more subtle, i.e. a group of friends suddenly leaving one from there group suddenly without EXPLANATION, out of their activities - sitting together at lunch.

15 people found this helpful

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bball

Must read for parents of adolescent girls

Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2021

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This is a great book to read and share with your daughter prior to middle school and/OR if she is being bullied (and maybe if she has bullying tendencies). It resonated with me as an adult looking back and as I looked at adult dynamics in a former work environment. Women, young and old, we need to do and be better. Until then, we need to prepare our daughters to navigate some difficult spaces.

2 people found this helpful

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lenka

If you have a daughter, just buy it!

Reviewed in the United States on March 15, 2022

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It will help you know more about the girl’s world. I really think it’s useful to understand what are the girls thinking and give you advice.

2 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

RainyDayRun

Great Resource

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 2, 2018

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With a 5 year old daughter, I wanted to understand her already complex relationship with her friends. This book, while about older kids, has been a great resource to help me see relational aggression from the child's point of view. I've recommended this book to many other parents and will continue to do so.

The final chapter has some suggestions on how to help parent your child through these situations. There are also quotes from children about what they find helpful from their parents.

MsG

A book for everyone...

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 6, 2010

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As relevant to adult women as to school-age girls.

My library copy went back today but I just had to buy another to re-read.

5 people found this helpful

Jan

Aha!

Reviewed in Canada on March 11, 2013

Verified Purchase

A must read for any mother of a daughter or a woman in search of herself -at any age. Provided many 'aha' moments and provided insight on a childhood endured 50 years ago. This book explains girl society and female bullying in a clear-headed, objective style. Not just a by-woman-for-women only read. Adds depth and perception to an overlooked aspect of female behaviour and interaction that has profound effect and echoes throughout a female's Kidd span. Very illuminating and informative and sadly, a one of a kind. This aspect of female behaviour warrants so much more exploration.

Natalia Pierce

An excellent resource for the elementary counselling office

Reviewed in Canada on January 16, 2017

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An excellent resource for the elementary counselling office! This is a book I keep in my personal library and often recommend to parents .

Tina

Amazing book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 8, 2012

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As a mother of an 'odd girl out' at last i have something to relate to! Im not going mad!

One person found this helpful

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