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Odd Girl Out, Revised and Updated: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls Paperback – August 3, 2011
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"Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress"
Is the world really falling apart? Is the ideal of progress obsolete? Cognitive scientist and public intellectual Steven Pinker urges us to step back from the gory headlines and prophecies of doom, and instead, follow the data: In seventy-five jaw-dropping graphs, Pinker shows that life, health, prosperity, safety, peace, knowledge, and happiness are on the rise. Learn more
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"There has not been so much interest in young females since psychologist Mary Pipher chronicled anorexics and suicide victims in her 1994 bestseller, Reviving Ophelia."--The Washington Post
"Provocative . . . Cathartic to any teen or parent trying to find company . . . it will sound depressingly familiar to any girl with a pulse."--Detroit Free Press
"Encourages girls to address one another when they feel angry or jealous, rather than engage in the rumor mill."--Chicago Tribune
"Peels away the smiley surfaces of adolescent female society to expose one of girlhood's dark secrets: the vicious psychological warfare waged every day in the halls of our . . . schools."--San Francisco Chronicle
"Passionate and beautifully written. A significant contribution to our understanding of the psychology of girls." —Michael Thompson, co-author of Raising Cain
An American School Board Journal Notable Book in Education
From the Back Cover
REVISED AND UPDATED
WITH NEW MATERIAL ON CYBERBULLYING AND
HELPING GIRLS HANDLE THE DANGERS OF LIFE ONLINE
"Peels away the smiley surfaces of adolescent female society to expose one of girlhood's dark secrets: the vicious psychological warfare waged every day in the halls of our middle schools and high schools." San Francisco Chronicle
When Odd Girl Out was first published, it became an instant bestseller and ignited a long-overdue conversation about the hidden culture of female bullying. Today the dirty looks, taunting notes, and social exclusion that plague girls friendships have gained new momentum in cyberspace.
In thisupdated edition, educator and bullying expert Rachel Simmons gives girls, parents, and educators proven and innovative strategies for navigating social dynamics in person and online, as well asbrand new classroom initiatives and step-by-step parental suggestions for dealing with conventional bullying. Withup-to-the-minute research andreal-life stories, OddGirl Out continues to be the definitive resource on the most pressing social issues facing girls today.
"Passionate and beautifully written. A significant contribution to our understanding of the psychology of girls." Michael Thompson, co-author of Raising Cain
"Cathartic to any teen or parent trying to find company." Detroit Free Press
An American School Board Journal Notable Book in Education
RACHEL SIMMONS, best-selling author of Odd Girl Speaks Out and The Curse of the Good Girl, is an educator and cofounder of the Girls Leadership Institute. A Rhodes Scholar, she has appeared on Today, Oprah, and other major shows including her own PBS special, and writes frequently for Teen Vogue.
Reading guide and teacher's guideavailable at www.hmhbooks.com.
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This is a MUST READ for EVERY parent of daughters AGES 11 - 18 and school teachers of those ages. Odd Girl Out gave me insights into my students’ behavior when I was teaching middle school.
Unlike boys who may settle their differences physically and then move on, girls who bully leave EMOTIONAL SCARS which can follow the bully and especially the victim into adulthood.
Bully may be the wrong term here, since often it is more subtle, i.e. a group of friends suddenly leaving one from there group suddenly without EXPLANATION, out of their activities - sitting together at lunch.
it's a tough read and an easy read. easy, because simmons is an excellent writer and fills the book with real stories of real girls. tough, because the real girls she profiles reveal a profile of aggression (almost universally experienced) that is so painful, so destructive, it's difficult to read (especially if you care about teenage girls).
i had a great chat with my 13 year-old daughter, liesl, after reading this book. she was very open about how girls treat each other. i may be fooling myself, but i do think that liesl's private school (a waldorf school, which is particularly nurturing and has no tolerance for mistreatment) protects her from the fullest extent of what this behavior would look like in the vast majority of schools. in fact, i could easily see liesl being the aggressor (the rumor-creator, the silent treatment-giver, the "we don't like you" club-originator), were she in a different context.
the book talks at length about why this alternative aggression is so commonplace amongst girls. it also talks about why schools are so poor at addressing it. it's a bit light on suggestions for what we all (who care about girls) can do about it - but there is some of this, especially near the end of the book.
given my passion for early adolescent ministry, i was intrigued to read that this behavior is at its peak during the young teen years. the author focuses all of her research on girls from 5th grade through 9th grade, with the "sweet spot" (bad choice of words, i suppose) between 11 and 14.
here's one particular paragraph i found fascinating:
at first glance, the stories of girls not being allowed to eat at the lunch table, attend a party, put their sleeping bag in the middle, or squeeze inside a circle of giggling girls may seem childish. yet as carol gilligan has shown, relationships play an unusually important role in girls' social development. in her work with girls and boys, she found that girls perceive danger in their lives as isolation, especially the fear that by standing out they will be abandoned. boys, however, describe danger as a fear of entrapment or smothering. this contrast, gilligan argues, shows that women's development "points toward a diffrerent history of human attachment, stressing continuity and change instead of replacement and seperation. the primacy of relationship and attachment in the female life also indicates a different experience of and response to loss. the centrallity of relationship to girls' lives all but guarantees a different landscape of aggression and bullying, with its own distinctive features worthy of seperate study.
The smart Doctor looked at her, and started asking her questions about her best friends and social life at school. Later he preffered me to this book.
I went home and read it and it opened my eyes
I shared it with my wife, and started talking with my daughter, trying to understand more. Aparantly there is a dominant girl in her class, which applies social aggression on all her surrounding. Many other girls were involved but the silence was broken only when more and more parents talked about it. The book was acurate in both the phenomena and how to handle it. This book is an eye opened and a good guide for parents in sla similar situation.
Or if you are wondering how you ended up in the middle of a conflict with no idea how to help either side.
This book was very revealing to me.