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Oh No She Didn't: The Top 100 Style Mistakes Women Make and How to Avoid Them Hardcover – Bargain Price, October 12, 2010
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About the Author
Clinton Kelly is the co-host of TLC's popular show What Not to Wear, a spokesperson for Macy's, and a motivational speaker who has successfully talked thousands of women out of wearing stirrup pants. He received a master's degree in journalism from Northwestern University and has worked as an editor at several noted fashion publications, including Marie Claire, Mademoiselle, and DNR, a weekly men's trade magazine. Originally from Long Island, he lives in New York City.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
THE ATROCITIES I’VE SEEN
I mean, seriously, sometimes I’m surprised I haven’t already gouged out my own eyes. Truth be told, I did come pretty damn close once. I was in Pittsburgh, at the airport, or maybe it was Cincinnati. Doesn’t matter, really. There I was, just minding my own business, reading the newspaper and waiting for my flight to board, when a couple of women approached me.
“Are you Clinton?” one of them asked.
This question always kind of bugs me. You know it’s me. Just say hello and go back to your quadruple mocha latte. “Yep,” I replied, and looked up to see two of the most horrific outfits imaginable. Both women—both—were wearing horizontal-striped turtlenecks tucked into high-waisted Mom Jeans with white cross-trainers.
“We love your show!” said one.
“We watch it all the time!” declared the other.
I smiled and said thank you, because I’m a gentleman. But inside my little head, I screamed to the heavens with all my might: Why, God! Why do you hate me so much!
Maybe I get a tad exasperated from time to time, but certainly you can understand why. I’ve spent the good part of a decade explaining, with as much patience as I could muster, why you shouldn’t pair socks with sandals, why you might want to avoid tube tops after the age of forty, why elastic-waist pants are evil incarnate. But, evidently, not everyone is listening.
Still, I continue on with my mission to make America a more beautiful place. I’m like that Native American dude from the commercial who cries when he sees people litter. Except, I’m not crying. It’s more like I’m laughing at you. In fact, he’s laughing at you too. We’re having gin and tonics right now, and I was just telling him that your outfit was revolting. And you know what he said?
And how! Couldn’t you just die? I almost peed my pants a little.
© 2010 Clinton Kelly
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Top Customer Reviews
Likewise, this book isn't for people with Very Firm Rules about political correctness. Clinton Kelly is the antithesis of that.
In "Oh No, She Didn't," Mr. Kelly has turned loose his humor. It's witty, bawdy, hyperbolic, and sarcastic. I've watched "What Not to Wear," and this book completely transformed my opinion of him from "seems like a nice guy" to... well, I'm swooning. He speaks my language. He's bright, he's funny, and -- to my chagrin, sometimes -- he's also right about what not to wear.
Yes, he caught at least three fashion blunders I'm guilty of. (There may be more. I'm not admitting to them.)
Mr. Kelly sets the stage for each style mistake in the book. The first chapter opens with, "I was recently nursing a hangover on the couch and flipping through the TV channels, when I stumbled upon The First Wives Club." For me, it was love at first line. In just 23 words, I had a clear picture of Clinton Kelly's real life and his humor. I was dazzled.
In my opinion, "Oh No, She Didn't" is both a slide-off-your-chair riot of humorous jabs and a breath of fresh air. Even when he says outrageously snide things -- and included a photo of one item I wear regularly -- he was so witty, I didn't take it personally. (However, I am ruthlessly going through my closet today, casting off Things I Shouldn't Be Wearing.)
If you're going to take Mr. Kelly literally and seriously, and feel insulted... this isn't the book for you.
For example, after the section ridiculing the worst of "mom jeans" -- and explaining exactly why they fail -- a later section on "muffin tops" explains when you might need higher-rise jeans or slacks, after all.
If you don't understand what he's saying about mom jeans, that might seem like a contradiction. Never fear, he tells you what to be extremely careful about if the "squishy stuff" (his words, not mine) really must be restrained by something from Urkel's closet. (I'm in that category at the moment, so I was grateful for his advice, and laughed along with him.)
I enjoyed this book so much, I read it -- cover to cover -- in one sitting. And, I'll probably re-read it regularly, in case I backslide.
If you've had enough of dour lectures about what not to wear, you'll like this book. If you've heard so much conflicting advice about fashion, your brain hurts, this book will simplify it. Clinton Kelly tells you -- every woman, no matter what your age or body type -- the 100 looks you absolutely must avoid. And, Mr. Kelly delivers that message with to-the-point photos and witty comments that would make Jeeves (of "Jeeves and Wooster") proud.
If you're a "What Not to Wear" fan, Dress Your Best: The Complete Guide to Finding the Style That's Right for Your Body is good, and worth reading. However, for flat-out, "avoid these atrocities" advice, "Oh No, She Didn't" is better, and laugh-out-loud funny.