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I'm Okay, You're a Brat!: Setting the Priorities Straight and Freeing You From the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood Paperback – July 13, 2001
My Father Before Me
The popular new release from Chris Forhan. Learn more
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Peppered with quotes from parents, researchers, and her earlier works (Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and End the Struggle and Dance with Life), the first chapters may come as a bit of a shock to parents not able to freely admit to the daily struggle of parenting--while there are most definitely rewards, who among us enjoys being spit up on? Where's the fun in attending soccer matches when soccer bores you to tears? Who loves parenting when the child just dented the new car and broke curfew? Jeffers insists it's time to openly talk about the downside of parenting--the loss of privacy, lack of sleep, financial struggles, and the instantaneous guilt felt by the majority of parents whenever they attempt to express these downer feelings. Often funny, and always thought provoking, you'll feel quickly reassured that you are not a bad parent for feeling this way--in fact, by freeing yourself from the good/bad parent complex, you may ultimately find greater personal fulfillment both as an individual and as a parent. --Jill Lightner --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
“Brilliant! A brave and revolutionary book that dares to confront many of our long-cherished beliefs about parenthood and parenting.” ―Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Emotional Blackmail
“An excellent investment! If you read it before you have children, it may change your life. If you read it after you have children, it may save you years of therapy.” ―Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Why Men Are the Way They Are and Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say
“Many welcome suprises await the reader of this marvelously honest book! I heatily recommend it! It will remove any guilt and confusion you may be having about so many aspects of parenthood...whether you are a parent or not.” ―Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D., author of Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know
Top Customer Reviews
The author describes what changes occur in your life once a child is born. She is absolutely right on that score. And for some of us, it isn't a pretty sight. For would-be parents, this is a God-send, and for those of us already in the fray it is reassuring to know that we aren't crazy for wondering where our adult life went.
What I was most impressed with was her talking about the "mad myths of parenthood" and the guilt-gurus who do their best to make us feel guilty. It all makes so much sense. By the way, this book should definitely be read by men as the author points out how sexist the world is when it comes to men and their children. It also reaffirms how important men are to the lives of their children.
I closed the book realizing how much we are brainwashed about the ideas of parenthood and how important it is to think for ourselves. I also came away feeling that my children have their own course, their own calling, and that, while it was important for me to do my best to give them loving care (whatever that means for each of us), I must let go of the outcome. There are so many factors that affect them body, mind and soul.Read more ›
Additional note: For those who think someone else's reproductive agenda is your business, you are incorrect. It is very rude to ask the wife or the husband when they plan to have children. It is none of your business and they would appreciate you not inquiring.
I did get what I wanted, and more. If I had read Susan's book before having my kids, I would have really hated it. I wouldn't have believed most of it. I would have said to myself, "these are problems that other people face with their kids, but because I will do everything right, these issues won't affect me." And that would have been incredibly naive.
What has happened to me is that when I got my kids, I REALLY got my kids. It is me who takes care of them "24/7." It is unreleived by any job, or very much help from my spouse (although some). Our financial situation makes babysitting help a rare luxury and we are not in a tight community.
Now I know why I am going a little crazy, and also a few things to provide myself with some relief. This book helped me to see that although my children do need to have high quality care at all times, it does not need to be provided by me exclusively. Also, taking care of myself in terms of doing some things that are important to me will ultimately help my children more than my constant availability.
The section about the "guilt gurus" was also especially helpful. This is the part that made me want to give the book to everyone I know. Because society has drummed it into us that it is all up to the parents, especially the mother.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
As the mother of a 9 month old who doesnt sleep well or eat well, I know about the trials of parenthood, but the author takes her parenting hating views and says that everyone has... Read morePublished on September 23, 2012 by B. Habina
I read this book when I was married and had just hit the magic '30', pressure was mounting from my Catholic family to 'stop wasting time and do what I was put on this earth for'... Read morePublished on July 19, 2012 by Jay Kay
The book provides some relief for parents with built-in sense of guilt, but other than that does not give you any insights about children, only tells you to not take them that... Read morePublished on April 7, 2011 by J. Kay
This book is great if you are open minded on hearing all the things people don't tell you about being a parent. Read morePublished on March 3, 2011 by Brusso
I've read the book and listened to the abridged audio. The audio never tells that some full grown children after age 21 commit suicide. This is a small percentage. Read morePublished on January 28, 2011 by jackiepapertracer
So we all have struggles as parents, but this book is so negative and selfish. I'm a single mom and I understand hardship. Read morePublished on January 25, 2011 by Andrea
This book is a must read for parents of all age children, Childfree and the ones who are undecided. Being a counselor I am now recommending this book to many clients of mine with... Read morePublished on December 30, 2010 by Shadow
I'm Okay You're a Brat:
Setting the Priorities Straight
and Freeing You from the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood
(Los Angeles, CA:... Read more
I approached "I'm OK You're a Brat" having read the back of the book and leafing through it a bit, and expecting to really enjoy hearing from someone who saw parenthood as it truly... Read morePublished on November 21, 2009 by K. Hosley