- File Size: 3333 KB
- Print Length: 334 pages
- Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
- Publisher: Someday Lady Publishing, LLC (September 16, 2017)
- Publication Date: September 16, 2017
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B075PK7JSR
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #507,631 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
|Print List Price:||$9.99|
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Once Upon a Page (Shadowing London Book 1) Kindle Edition
"Bones Don't Lie" by Melinda Leigh
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I downloaded the sample and thought I'd found a new author to enjoy. I loved the quirky heroine and the old-fashioned language. So I bought it. The setup: the dead body of a young man is found in a peer's library, and a professor (who recently made a technological breakthrough) is missing. Our heroine, Penelope, and her long-lost heartthrob, Samuel, must go galavanting off across Britain to find the professor and save him from a likely horrible fate. The cover story needed for the couple to search for the prof? Samuel and Penelope are eloping to Gretna Green! How scandalous! A great mystery looks like it's about to unfold.
Wrong. As soon as the professor is not found in the first place the daring duo look for him, the story takes an abrupt 90 degree turn into Harlequin Romance Land. Sexual tension simmers! A mysterious stranger is chasing them! What else is there to do but take shelter in an abandoned barn on a rainy night and shed their wet clothes? I mean, there's no helping it. What's a girl to do? Duh.
Well, anyway, hilarity ensues and they end up actually getting married once they get to Scotland.
(Pause here to voice a gripe. Dear author, if Penelope is allowed to perform a strip-tease in a barn, and we are allowed to understand that the hero has enjoyed seeing her nekkid boobies, why aren't we allowed to even have a hint of the wedding night??? Just asking. You know, that's really not very nice. You set us up for a nice yummy scene, and then.... nothing. C'mon.)
And then... we take another hard turn into... Trope Land! Oh yes. As if the barn wasn't bad enough, we now get to enjoy oodles of angst, brought to us by The Dread Secret (both of them have one!), The Big Misunderstanding, The I'm Unworthy of His/Her Love, and Heroine Suddenly Becomes TSTL.** The last one is particularly weird, because throughout the book we are constantly reminded that Penelope is a person of outstanding intellect, who is really wasting her brain power by being "just a secretary" to a peer. (Even though back in the day, secretaries to peers were typically well-educated males. Having a young female secretary would have been outstandingly bold and forward-thinking on the part of the employer. I mean, she'd be unchaperoned, and stuff. Shocking.)
And, good lord, if Penelope twitches her fingers one more time, I am going to THROTTLE her.
Anyway, our couple goes toddling back to London, where the mystery once again takes center stage. Mayhem! Attempted murder! Lots of tears and additional angst! Lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!
The professor makes a brief appearance, so we know he hasn't been offed. But who killed the poor young man who was found dead in the first chapter?
I will never know. I'm supposed to buy the next book in the series to find out. Which I'm not going to do.
Oh -- one more thought. There are some misspellings in the book, the kind that should have been caught by spell-check, as they are mostly word fragments. My favorite, though, was "she dipped a crusty." Brings to mind french fries and puddles of ketchup.
** TSTL = Too Stupid to Live
Jessie Clever does tells the story a hero who gains strength as he comes to the aid of the woman he loves. Danger, mystery, romance, marriage and a cliff-hanger finish. I loved it!