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The One You Get: Portrait of a Family Organism Paperback – September 12, 2017

by Jason Tougaw (Author)

4.5 43 ratings

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In The One You Get: Portrait of a Family Organism, Jason Tougaw marries neuroscience and family lore to tell his story of growing up gay in 1970s Southern California, raised by hippies who had "dropped out" in the late sixties and couldn't seem to find their way back in. "There's something wrong with our blood," the family mantra ran, "and it affects our brains"―a catchall answer for incidents such as Tougaw's schizophrenic great-grandfather directing traffic in the nude on the Golden Gate Bridge, the author's own dyslexia and hypochondria, and the near-death experience of his notorious jockey grandfather, Ralph Neves.

With shades of Oliver Sacks and Susannah Cahalan, this honest and unexpected true story recasts the memoir to answer some of life's big questions: "Where did I come from," "How did I become me," and "What happens when the family dog accidentally overdoses on acid?"

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"The One You Get: Portrait of a Family Organism," (Dzanc, $16.95 paper) Tougaw's brilliant and beautiful memoir, and winner of the Dzanc 2017 Nonfiction Prize, takes two convergent paths: the first is that of his own personal story growing up in the sun-soaked Seventies and new wave Eighties of Southern California in a family of outsiders; the second is one of scientific interpolation. The book is alive. --Scott Cheshire, The LA Times

"The story he tells is extremely well written and will hold its readers' interest to its affecting end."--Booklist

Jason Tougaw brings together neuroscience and family lore in "The One You Get: Portrait of a Family Organism", his story of growing up gay in 1970s in Southern California. He was raised by hippies who had "dropped out" in the late sixties and couldn't seem to find their way back in. This is an intelligent memoir that is very funny at times as it tells the story of a very peculiar and unconventional family. Tougaw brings together reflections on the brain science of human memory and development and "the ongoing mystery of why some of us survive a chaotic and brutal childhood and others don't." The self here is a mysterious and strange accident that yearns to be understood by its possessor and it is great fun seeing how that happens. --Amos Lassen

Why was Tougaw one of the more fortunate ones? How did he rise above the pernicious family lore? Did he get lucky, genetically, by dodging the illness that plagued his great-grandfather and his cousin or is there another reason? "As a kid, I had a tendency to bob and float, dodging the worst predators." For the rest of his family, he says, "our collective memory tells a story of resilience barely achieved. Great-grandpa Neves didn't make it, but Ralph did. So did his children. We find ourselves in deep shit and we dig our way out. That's the spine of our story." --The Guardian

Tougaw is great at capturing the somewhat hallucinatory existence of childhood of adolescence. . . [H]e is more than successful in creating an illuminating work--a combination of a retelling and journey of discovery--calling it The One You Get. --Lambda Literary

About the Author

Jason Tougaw is a professor of literature at City University of New York. He is the author of two nonfiction books, Strange Cases: The Medical Case History and the British Novel and Touching Brains: Literary Experiments in 21st-Century Neuromania. Excerpts from The One You Get have appeared in Boys to Men: Gay Men Write about Growing Up and Electra Street: A Journal of the Arts and Humanities. He blogs about the relationship between art and science at Californica.net.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Dzanc Books (September 12, 2017)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1945814322
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1945814327
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.4 x 0.8 x 8.4 inches

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4.5 43 ratings

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Jason Tougaw

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Jason Tougaw is the author of The One You Get: Portrait of a Family Organism (Dzanc Books), The Elusive Brain (Yale UP) and Strange Cases: The Medical Case History and the British Novel (Routledge). Excerpts from The One You Get have appeared in OUT magazine, Boys to Men: Gay Men Write about Growing Up, and Electra Street: A Journal of the Arts and Humanities. His writing has appeared in Electric Literature, The Quivering Pen, and Literary Hub. He is a professor of literature at City University of New York. He blogs about art and science at californica.net and writes a monthly column for Psychologytoday.com.

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seo-young chu

multilayered • fascinating • vibrant • sharp • enlightening

Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2017

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Opening a gift.

Reading the Bible.

Dissecting a living brain.

Glimpsing UFOs in the dark skies.

Watching a vivid, compelling documentary about the Aplysia californica.

Swimming in the ocean.

Swarming in the ocean.

Experimenting with thoughts.

Meeting a friendly genius who knows how to explain complicated phenomena in lucid terms.

Going on a road trip through the shimmering busy nervous system of a family organism.

Meditating.

Listening to a mixtape of songs by New Order, Howard Jones, Fad Gadget, Elton John, the Cure, Joy Division, Bad Manners...

Listening to a toddler utter his first sentence.

Feeling ants under one’s skin.

Experiencing postmemory.

Finding homeostasis.

Listening to the friendly genius, the one who explicates sophisticated concepts with ingenuity and exactness, recount a traumatic event from his past with candor and without self-pity.

Staring at geraniums.

Sitting in a classroom where the temperature is perfect.

Having a dream in which ecological networks and pink ribbon streams might be metaphors for each other.

Having a dream in which consciousness is both a network and a stream.

Having a dream in which the human skull is a mirage and consciousness is solid.

Waking up.

Hallucinating trenchant insights from the ether of the author’s childhood memories.

Creating the past.

Creating a version of the past.

Creating a memory.

Studying the seeds of memory under a microscope.

Seeding one’s own vocabulary anew and again: engram, reentry, qualia, nucleus accumbens, noise and signal...

Being diagnosed as part of a family organism.

Being transformed by the sight of squiggly black shapes on paper surfaces.

Being moved.

Learning, learning, learning.

Being conceived.

Waking up and dreaming at the same time.

Above: just some of many figures of speech (e.g. metonymy) for reading Jason Tougaw’s iridescent, illuminating, remarkable, unforgettable memoir THE ONE YOU GET: PORTRAIT OF A FAMILY ORGANISM. I am so grateful for its existence in the world and for its presence in my life.

(...Being diagnosed as a reader empowered and inspired by a book.)

2 people found this helpful

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SCV Diveguy

The book hit close to home.

Reviewed in the United States on September 16, 2017

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“The One You Get” is an authentic look at growing up in an era of opportunity in San Diego’s North County, by a young man whose home life was markedly different from the children around him. The financial prosperity and social norms others took for granted were unfamiliar to a young boy raised by aging, increasingly impoverished and drug-addicted hippies, who once mingled with Hollywood’s elite. I was impressed with the author’s description of his childhood haunts as well as his vivid account of the chaos and turmoil he felt when as he realized what made him different. The book is about more than sexual awakening, growth, and the author’s eventual maturity; Tougaw’s insight extends beyond a personal memoir. The book explores how memories are made, how they change us—how we change them—and what ultimately creates our sense of self, family, and belonging. To another reader, Tougaw’s musings will be engaging and informative; his writing style is easy to follow even with discussions of brain chemistry and physiology. For me, the book was personal and familiar. Tougaw writes of his own experiences, but in doing so, he describes the lives of many others who likewise grew up feeling awkward, wrestling with similar questions. Our stories are different, but by showing us who he is and how he came to be, Tougaw unwittingly, or perhaps skillfully, hits on emotions and memories far more common than people would politely or comfortably admit; but “The One You Get” is not about being polite or comfortable: it is about being authentic, and in that, the author succeeds splendidly.

2 people found this helpful

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Darryl Brasseale

I also loved this read and found myself particularly in the spaces ...

Reviewed in the United States on October 25, 2017

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I'm writing this for my mother...on my husband's account. But as a daughter of a North Korean refugee, my 74 yr. old mother found a sense of belonging between herself and the author Jason Tougaw. She applauds not only the honest story telling but the outcome of the author into a well-rounded compassionate story teller despite the hardships of his upbringing. She most appreciated the liberation she felt in discovering herself as a non-victim after reading this book... Not to erase any hardships or suffering, but rather to find a way to own her experiences into creating herself as an adult. Personally speaking, I also loved this read and found myself particularly in the spaces of growing up in the 80's, but I'm completely humbled by the fact that my mom and I chose to both read this book and she found a mirror between herself who grew up in Seoul during the Korean War, and the author. I think you will be pleasantly surprised to also recognize the pangs/rewards of growing up with The One You Get.

One person found this helpful

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Beverly Bayer

Four Stars

Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2017

I loved the Neuro science woven into the story. Also loved the conversation about memory. Great read.

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Peter Torres

You'll be amazed on what a child can over come.

Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2017

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Such an insightful personal story, that allows the reader to more understand your own brain processes. While journeying with the author through his
early unconventional adolescence. This book was honest, beautiful and so relatable. These years are an exciting time of many varied and rapid changes. The child grows and also starts to feel and think in more mature ways. You may feel amazed as you see the author begin to turn into an adult. But this can be a confusing time for both child and guardian. Both must get used to the new person the child is becoming. Jason Tougaw helps to put this in a new fresh perspective. I could not put this book down.

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jeanne

His childhood was unusual to say the least and he describes it with great clarity. I love that this memoir reads like ...

Reviewed in the United States on September 19, 2017

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Jason Tougaw had me hooked on the first sentence and after that I didn't...er...couldn't...put the book down until I had read it in it's entirety! His childhood was unusual to say the least and he describes it with great clarity. I love that this memoir reads like a very captivating novel. His personal story told in the historical context of the hippie generation, his explanation of how neuroscience affects our reactions and memories to life's circumstances and the honesty with which he tells of his young life is a so well written and compelling read. It's up there with the best of the books I have read.

One person found this helpful

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