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You Only Live Twice (James Bond (Original Series) Book 12) Kindle Edition
Ian Fleming
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LanguageEnglish
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PublisherThomas & Mercer
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Publication dateOctober 16, 2012
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File size564 KB
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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The geisha called 'Trembling Leaf, on her knees beside James Bond, leant forward from the waist and kissed him chastely on the right cheek.
'That's a cheat,' said Bond severely. 'You agreed that if I won it would be a real kiss on the mouth. At the very least,' he added.
'Grey Pearl', the Madame, who had black lacquered teeth, a bizarre affectation, and was so thickly made up that she looked like a character out of a noh play, translated. There was much giggling and cries of encouragement. Trembling Leaf covered her face with her pretty hands as if she were being required to perform some ultimate obscenity. But then the fingers divided and the pert brown eyes examined Bond's mouth, as if taking aim, and her body lanced forward. This time the kiss was full on the lips and it lingered fractionally. In invitation? In promise? Bond remembered that he had been promised a 'pillow geisha'. Technically, this would be a geisha of low caste. She would not be proficient in the traditional arts of her calling - she would not be able to tell humorous stories, sing, paint or compose verses about her patron. But, unlike her cultured sisters, she might agree to perform more robust services - discreetly, of course, in conditions of the utmost privacy and at a high price. But, to the boorish, brutalised tastes of a gaijin, a foreigner, this made more sense than having a tanks of thirty-one syllables, which in any case he couldn't understand, equate, in exquisite ideograms, his charms with budding chrysanthemums on the slopes of Mount Fuji.
The applause which greeted this unbridled exhibition of lasciviousness died quickly and respectfully. The powerful, chunky man in the black Jukata, sitting directly across the low red lacquer table from Bond, had taken the Dunhill filter holder from between his golden teeth and had laid it beside his ashtray. 'Bondo-san,' said Tiger Tanaka, Head of the Japanese Secret Service, 'I will now challenge you to this ridiculous game, and I promise you in advance that you will not win.' The big, creased brown face that Bond had come to know so well in the past month split expansively. The wide smile closed the almond eyes to slits - slits that glittered. Bond knew that smile. It wasn't a smile. It was a mask with a golden hole in it.
Bond laughed. 'All right, Tiger. But first, more saks! And not in these ridiculous thimbles. I've drunk five flasks of the stuff and its effect is about the same as one double Martini. I shall need another double Martini if I am to go on demonstrating the superiority of Western instinct over the wiles of the Orient, Is there each a thing as a lowly glass tumbler discarded in some corner behind the cabinets of Ming?'
'Bondo-san. Ming is Chinese. Your knowledge of porcelain is as meagre as your drinking habits are gross. Moreover, it is unwise to underestimate saks. We have a saying, "It is the man who drinks the first flask of saks then the second flask drinks the first; then it is the saks that drinks the man.'" Tiger Tanaka turned to Grey Pearl and there followed a laughing conversation which Bond interpreted as jokes at the expense of this uncouth Westerner and his monstrous appetites. At a word from the Madame, Trembling Leaf bowed low and scurried out of the room. Tiger turned to Bond. 'You have gained much face, Bondo-san. It is only the sums wrestlers who drink saks in these quantities without showing it. She says you are undoubtedly an eight-flask man.' Tiger's face became sly. 'But she also suggests that you will not make much of a companion for Trembling Leaf at the end of the evening.'
'Tell her that I am more interested in her own more mature charms. She will certainly possess talents in the art of love making which will overcome any temporary lassitude on my part.' This leaden gallantry got what it deserved. There came a spirited crackle of Japanese from Grey Pearl. Tiger translated. 'Bondo-san this is a woman of some wit. She has made a joke. She says she is already respectably married to one bonsan and there is no room on her futon for another. Bansan means a priest, a greybeard. Futon, as you know, is a bed. She has made a joke on your name.'
The geisha party had been going on for two hours, and Bond's jaws were aching with the unending smiles and polite repartee. Far from being entertained by the geisha, or bewitched by the inscrutable discords issuing from the catskin-covered box of the three-stringed samisen, Bond had found himself having to try desperately to make the party go. He also knew that Tiger Tanaka had been observing his effort with a sadistic pleasure. Dikko Henderson had warned him that geisha parties were more or less the equivalent, for a foreigner, of trying to entertain a lot of unknown children in a nursery with a strict governess, the Madame, looking on. But Dikko had also warned him that he was being done a great honour by Tiger Tanaka, that the party would cost Tiger a small fortune, whether from secret funds or from his own pocket, and that Bond had better put a good face on the whole thing since this looked like being a breakthrough in Bond's mission. But it could equally well be disaster.
So now Bond smiled and clapped his hands in admiration. He said to Tiger, 'Tell the old bitch she's a clever old bitch,' accepted the brimming tumbler of hot saks from the apparently adoring hands of Trembling Leaf, and downed it in two tremendous gulps. He repeated the performance so that more saks had to be fetched from the kitchen, then he placed his fist decisively on the red lacquer table and said with mock belligerence, 'All right. Tiger! Go to it!'
It was the old game of Scissors cut Paper, Paper wraps Stone, Stone blunts Scissors, that is played by children all over the world. The fist is the Stone, two out-stretched fingers are the Scissors, and a flat hand is the Paper. The closed fist is hammered twice in the air simultaneously by the two opponents and, at the third downward stroke, the chosen emblem is revealed. The game consists of guessing which emblem the opponent will choose, and of you yourself choosing one that will defeat him. Best of three goes or more. It is a game of bluff.
Tiger Tanaka rested his fist on the table opposite Bond. The two men looked carefully into each other's eyes. There was dead silence in the box-like little lath-and-paper room, and the soft gurgling of the tiny brook in the ornamental square of garden outside the opened partition could be heard clearly for the first time that evening. Perhaps it was this silence, after all the talk and giggling, or perhaps it was the deep seriousness and purpose that was suddenly evident in Tiger Tanaka's formidable, cruel, samurai face, but Bond's skin momentarily crawled. For some reason this had become more than a children's game. Tiger had promised he would beat Bond. To fail would be to lose much face. How much? Enough to breach a friendship that had become oddly real between the two of them over the past weeks? This was one of the most powerful men in Japan. To be defeated by a miserable gaijin in front of the two women might be a matter of great moment to this man. The defeat might leak out through the women. In the West, such a trifle would be farcically insignificant, like a cabinet minister losing a game of backgammon at Blades. But in the East? In a very short while, Dikko Henderson had taught Bond total respect for Oriental conventions, however old-fashioned or seemingly trivial, but Bond was still at sea in their gradations. This was a case in point. Should Bond try and win at this baby game of bluff and double-bluff, or should he try to lose? But to try and lose involved the same cleverness at correctly guessing the other man's symbols in advance. It was just as difficult to lose on purpose as to win. And anyway did it really matter? Unfortunately, on the curious assignment in which James Bond was involved, he had a nasty feeling that even this idiotic little gambit had significance towards success or failure.
As if with second sight. Tiger Tanaka spelled the problem out. He gave a harsh, taut laugh that was more of a shout than an expression of humour or pleasure. 'Bondo-san, with us, and certainly at a party at which I am the host and you are the honoured guest, it would be good manners for me to let you win this game that we are to play together. It would be more. It would be required behaviour. So I must ask your forgiveness in advance for defeating you.'
Bond smiled cheerfully. 'My dear Tiger, there is no point in playing a game unless you try to win. It would be a very great insult to me if you endeavoured to play to lose. But if I may say so, your remarks are highly provocative. They are like the taunts of the sumo wrestlers before the bout. If I was not myself so certain of winning, I would point out that you spoke in English. Please tell our dainty and distinguished audience that I propose to rub your honourable nose in the dirt at this despicable game and thus display not only the superiority of Great Britain, and particularly Scotland, over Japan, but also the superiority of our Queen over your Emperor.' Bond, encouraged perhaps by the crafty ambush of the sake, had committed himself. This kind of joking about their different cultures had become a habit between himself and Tiger, who, with a first in PPE at Trinity before the war, prided himself in the demokorasu of his outlook and the liberality and breadth of his understanding of the West. But Bond, having spoken, caught the sudden glitter in the dark eyes, and he thought of Dikko Henderson's cautionary, 'Now listen, you stupid limey bastard. You're doing all right. But don't press your luck. T.T.'s a civilized kind of a chap - as Japs go, that is. But don't overdo it. Take a look at that mug. There's Manchu there, and Tartar. And don't forget the soanso was a Black Belt at judo before he never went up to your bloody Oxford. And don't forget he was spying for Japan when he called himself assistant naval attache in their London Embassy before the war and you s...
Product details
- ASIN : B008L40P7U
- Publisher : Thomas & Mercer; Reprint edition (October 16, 2012)
- Publication date : October 16, 2012
- Language : English
- File size : 564 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 175 pages
- Lending : Not Enabled
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#91,289 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
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- #15,394 in Mysteries (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Customer reviews
Top reviews from the United States
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The Kinlde version appears to be simply a compilation of page-by-page image files. It is UNREADABLE on my Kindle and cannot be resized! In the online app, the print/image quality is horrible, unreadable, and again ... cannot be resized. When I attempted to return for a refund, I got a message that said "item ineligible for refund."
Thanks a lot Amazon. A totally unreadable piece of c r a p for which you will not let me return.
"You Only Live Twice" finds Bond in a slump, unable to recover from the murder of his wife of only a few hours on their honeymoon. He's been eased back into work, but has literally made a mess of 2 missions and M is seriously considering revoking his Double-O status.
The Service consulting physician is fond of 007, and suggests an alternative. He states a man of Bond's psychological makeup cannot rise unless he is challenged against overwhelming odds, so he suggests giving him a literally impossible mission to accomplish and free reign to do it.
Unlike the usual assassination assignments, Bond is asked to travel to Japan and make contact with the head of the Japanese Intelligence Service, a mysterious man of which little is known other than his name; Tiger Tanaka. This is to be primarily a diplomatic mission, and he is to offer to trade British Intelligence resources & information in exchange for the treasure trove of Japan's Russian spy network. It is thought highly unlikely Japan will work with the British and will be a coup if Bond pulls it off. Bond accepts, and begins his adventure to the Far East; another routine assignment with more than meets the eye, scores settled with Ernst Blofeld, ninja training, and a second chance at life.
The detailed explanation of the Japanese culture makes this book fascinating. Bonds transition from British secret agent to Japanese fisherman under the guidance of Tanaka (a very different character than the movie version) comprises the majority of the story and sets the stage for the ending.
I had forgotten how the books are much more of an ongoing connected narrative. I look forward to the next one.
Top reviews from other countries

A reasonable plot line, then, so what's wrong with it? Well, by now, it's hard to keep swallowing the awful dialogue, and the constant undertow of national one upmanship becomes boring by the time 007 stops fencing with his opposite number, Tiger Tanaka. There is none of the narrative charm from earlier novels, in particular Casino Royale and Moonraker. Very little action, and very few dilemmas for Bond to try and get out of. Reminds me of the last few Sharpe novels where the formula lacked a little something.
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Kalter Stahl auf den Felsen

There is a good possibility he will be removed from active service when he is given a final chance on an impossible mission that takes him to Japan.
Whilst there he forms a friendship with Tiger Tanaka. Who is a senior figure in the Japanese Secret Service.
Tiger asks for Bond's help in a local matter. A Doctor Shatterband and his wife have recently arrived in Japan and have set up home in a castle in one if the nearby islands. They are encouraging people to come and commit suicide as Japan has high statistics of their people taking their life.
On being shown their photographs. Although disguised there is no doubt it is Ernst Stavro Blofeld and Irma Bunt who are masquerading as Doctor Shatterband and wife in their castle retreat.
Bond agrees to help. He does not let on that this is now a personal matter.
Does he get revenge over Blofeld?
This is a slow paced read which is better in the second half of this book. It lacks the action I associate with James Bond and the glamorous woman.
Then again the man is in a state of shook and like in his last adventure Bond finds a form of love in the shape of Kissy Suzuki.
Also mentioned in this are his parents Andrew Bond a foreign representative from Glencoe in Scotland and his Swiss mother Monique Delacroix who both perished whilst climbing at Chamonix in the French Alps when Bond was eleven years old.

TOO MUCH time is taken up by listening to Bond talk about Japanese food, drink, architecture, women, politics, history and culture that by the time we actually reach Blofeld (who is incidentally now but a shadow of his formerly magnificent self) the book is all but over. Maybe if I was reading this back in the sixties when Japan was this distant faraway exotic land I could have appreciated this more - but I make no apologies for being a child of the early nineties and as such I began to feel under pressure to continue reading.
It's sad because ''Live and Let Die'' proved that Fleming is more than capable of including a lot of local flavour and yet still write a fantastic book.
If I may be so bold as to say this; but I think this book just smacks of a man who was getting very bored of his creation. If the many rumours are true that he wanted to end the series here I honestly would not be surprised. Stick with the earlier books would be my advice.

First published in 1964, this is the twelfth print outing (eleventh full length novel) for Ian Fleming's James Bond. It was the last of the Bond series published in Fleming's life time.
Following the calamitous events at the end of `On Her Majesty's Secret Service', Bond is a wreck. He is drinking too much, he is gambling and losing too much, and even worse he is making mistakes on assignments that are putting lives at risk. M is on the verge of firing him from the service, but is persuaded by an eminent psychologist to give Bond one last chance, with an assignment so tough that it might shake Bond up and bring the old, dedicated and dangerous agent back to life. M sends him on a seemingly impossible mission to Japan, not to kill or investigate anything, but to schmooze the chief of Japanese intelligence into letting the British have access to a solid gold intelligence source they have in Russia. Bond is indeed shaken up and the assignment proves to be a tough one as he uses all his wits and judgement to get Tiger Tanaka on side. He gains the trust of the Japanese intelligence man, who agrees to hand over the intelligence, but at a price. He needs a deniable operative to perform an assassination, and it seems as though Bond fits the bill. One murder by Bond and the British can have all the access it wants. So Bond undergoes a transformation into a Japanese coal miner and is sent off to slay the mysterious Dr. Shatterhand in his garden of death. But it turns out that as well as the opportunity to fulfil his mission, Bond also has the opportunity for a personal revenge.
The book falls into three main sections, Bond's breakdown and the early stages of his mission in which he schmoozes Tanaka, a journey across Japan in which Tanaka immerses Bond in Japanese culture, and finally the mission itself in which Bond is on his own in an alien landscape. The first section is a well written and interesting study of a man taken to the brink and slowly pulling himself back from it. It holds the interest, and Fleming's usual excellent prose is used to good effect. The second section of the book however is a different story. Fleming often worked in a detailed description of something crucial to the plot (for example, guano farming in Dr. No, gold smuggling in Goldfinger, Heraldry in OHMSS) and made it utterly adsorbing. Here he attempts to sum up Japanese culture, and though mildly interesting to see it from the point of view of a middle aged man in the early 1960s, this whole section of the book is a real struggle for me to get through. It could have been trimmed to half, even a quarter of the length and the book would have still made sense and been a lot better for it. It is in the final third of the book, where Bond actually starts on his mission and realises who he up against that things really take off. Fleming uses all his descriptive powers to great effect to describe the garden of death in all it's alien horror, and the final showdown between Bond and his would be nemesis is an absolute cracker.
The book has a strong theme of character development and rebirth in it. Bond is transformed from a drunken gambler back to a man of action, then into an instrument of vengeance and finally into a normal human being living a contented life. Blofeld is shown as moving from a disciplined authoritarian evil genius into a raving lunatic (though no less of an evil genius), no longer in control of himself. Fleming also takes time to explore the state of the nation, with the exchanges between Tiger and Bond revealing how Fleming saw the position of the UK on the world stage at the time. There is also an interesting interlude at the end which leaves us on a bit of a cliff hanger, and gives us an opportunity to read Bond's obituary from M in the papers. That s a neat touch, and a great ending to what had been an only intermittently good book.
I wanted to like the book a lot more than I did, mainly because of the slow middle section. The opening, and the action packed finale are excellent, as is the philosophical depth that Fleming manages to bring to the piece. But that long tedious slog as Bond is trained to be Japanese just mars the whole thing. Three stars for the book.
The unabridged reading by Martin Jarvis is excellent. He manages a range of voices and accents with ease, and never slips into patronising or absurdity with his Japanese accents, as would be so easy to do. Over the course of seven and a half hours his excellent reading, with just the right pitch, intonation and pace, keeps the listener hooked, even through the sections of the book that are heavy going. So for the audio book I have to give it four stars, with Jarvis's excellent narration responsible for the extra star.

At the beginning of the novel James Bond is suffering from depression, experiencing a nine-month stretch in which his world crumbles and the colour bleeds from his life. He is not sleeping, he is drinking too much and his work for M has gone to hell. M, sensing that something must be done, sends him to Japan on what is regarded as an impossible mission - not because he believes Bond has any chance of succeding, but merely to present him with a challenge so insurmountable that he is forced to face reality and thus hopefully emerge from his moribund, drink-addled stupor. In Japan Bond meets Tiger Tanaka, finds himself getting an insider view of the Japanese secret service, and becomes immersed in Japanese culture (Tiger sees Britain as old, crumbling and decadent - a fading power - while for Bond Japan is a land of cloying ritual and rigid - too rigid - discipline); in a discussion on information-sharing between the two powers a side-issue emerges, a tale of a mysterious 'Castle of Death' in a remote coastal region of Japan where suicides flock in vast numbers to do away with themselves. Bond takes up the challenge to investigate and put an end to the macabre castle, and its mysterious owner, Dr Shatterhand.
The idea of a 'garden of death', a region cultivated with toxic plants that weep poisonous sap, yield lethal seeds and exude a miasma of decay comes - I suspect - from Nathanial Hawthorne's short story 'Rappaccini's Daughter', in which Dr Rappaccini cultivates flowers that positively exhale a toxic scent. In Fleming's hands the garden becomes a surreal devil's playground in which Blofeld - who patrols the garden in a suit of Japanese medieval armour in order to protect himself from the plants - provides what he sees as a noble service (a means by which suicides can easily do away with themselves without inconveniencing others). The accounts of Bond making his way through the garden to reach Blofeld's castle, and the sinister games of cat and mouse that follow, are amongst the finest things Fleming ever put down on paper.
In conclusion You Only Live Twice is one of the finest Bond novels. You can keep your straight-forward megalomaniac plans for world domination - a personal battle between Bond and an insane genius inhabiting a noxious landscape of beautiful poisonous plants is way more fascinating. Superb, surreal, baffling, dazzling stuff! Recommended.
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