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Opening To Love 365 Days A Year Paperback – November 1, 1999
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"...Thought-provoking, inspiring, and wise, these affirmations are little one-page teachers; if today's lesson feels like familiar territory, you can bet that tomorrow's will open your eyes to a new idea, perspective, or facet of relationship.
This wife-and-husband team, co-authors of The New Intimacy, offers for each day a page-long meditation, a distilled one-sentence affirmation, and a complementary (and complimentary) quotation. Just one of the meditations is ample kindling for a great heart-to-heart bonfire with your sweetheart; two or three absorbed would qualify as a good counseling session; 15 or 20 could be spun into a self-help book; 365 is an abundance." -- MW NAPRA Review
"Don't be deceived by the apparent simplicity of this book. It provides practical wisdom about the things that matter to us all. Notice the complexity of emotion offered in the daily meditations. We all need direct, uncomplicated guidance to love well in our complicated lives."
-- Thomas Moore, author, Care of the Soul and Original Self
Judith & Jim have followed their very valuable relationship guide, The New Intimacy, with this accessible yet deep book. These authors are so very good at everything they do, including this latest offering. It addresses countless subjects that would normally be omitted from a guide to loving well, and yet are critically important to creating three-dimensional love. Partners in love and business for a solid dozen years, Judith & Jim tirelessly cheerlead their readers toward deeper and greater love. This delightful book is an admirable combination of down-to-earth practicalities and soaring wisdom. Steven Svoboda -- Everyman: A Men's Journal, March/April 2000
From the Author
Readers tell us this is the perfect book for their jam-packed lives. They love the practical, fun and deeply meaningful ideas for creating more love in their lives. Singles use it to prepare themselves for a future relationship or to deepen their dating experience. Couples enjoy the daily discovery and loving adventure together. And families get such a kick out of including the kids in so many of the ideas.
We're just about to celebrate 13 years since we met and 12 years married, and it's such a pleasure to put into words so much of what we've learned about the invitation to love more fully -- each and every day.
We urge you to celebrate the magic of your differences and enjoy!
Judith & Jim
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over we begin again. Our days are spent in being cool, calm and loving. I buy it as a gift for others.
counselor/author/workshop-leader/radio-host team, have followed
their very valuable relationship guide "The New Intimacy" with this
accessible yet deep book.
Sherven and Sniechowski are hardly the first authors to create a
book allotting one page for each day of the year and offering an
inspirational message for each day. So why buy this book,
especially if you, like me, are not particularly drawn to this sort
Here is why: These authors are so very, very good at everything
they do, including this latest offering. The format is simple yet
delightful. A thought-provoking saying appears at the start of
each month. Each day's page contains two to four short paragraphs
of philosophy and wisdom for that day, followed by a corresponding
affirmation and finally by a closely related pithy quotation.
Nearly all quotations were new to me, and many of them are
delightful in their own right.
Partners in love and business for a solid dozen years, Jim and
Judith are no sentimental fools. This book addresses countless
subjects that would normally be omitted from a guide to loving well
and yet are critically important to creating three-dimensional
love. Working together for a worthy cause can bring you closer to
your partner. (May 18) Real romance includes being grumpy. (June
5) Solitude is important to a relationship's success. (March 17)
Developing a life plan is wise. (June 18) Doing chores can be an
act of love. (August 23) Sharing with your partner memories of
the insecure, dorky kid you used to be can help bring you closer.
(September 24) Loving confrontation is one of intimacy's gifts.
Sometimes Sherven and Sniechowski send their readers messages on
issues which are downright disagreeable and yet no less important.
When love dries up so that perhaps your marriage even seems to be
over, this might be an opportunity for integration and further
growth of your love. (June 29) Conflict in marriage or obstacles-
-a job loss, a lawsuit--can defeat you or can make you stronger.
(November 18) Verbal or physical violence violate both yourself
and the love you claim to feel. (August 26) You can bring life to
your love by discussing your feelings about death with your
partner. (October 30). And don't forget to prepare financially
for death. (April 15)
Sometimes the advice is surprising, contrary to much received
wisdom about relationships. Marriage should come first, so that
the children feel safe in a family unit in which the grown-ups
respect themselves enough to put their needs first. (May 11) If
you never quarrel, you're emotionally cheating on your
relationship. (January 27 and September 5) Love the one you're
with because being "in love" is make-believe. (August 4). Banish
comparisons of yourself (and, presumably, your partner) with
others. (June 11) Don't compromise to settle a fight but rather
commit to finding a new way to be together that respects both of
you and expands your relationhip. (October 20) Some differences
are non-negotiable. (January 7) Fault-finding is an expression of
fear, but constructive criticism can enhance love. (February 4)
Sexual cheating is always the byproduct of both people's neglect of
the relationship. (February 23) We may want to write down several
of the ways our partner really bugs us, and then next to each item,
describe how it's perfect for what we need to learn in response to
it. (March 14)
"Opening to Love" contains a wealth of valuable insights. That
indefinably wonderful feeling of oneness that many experience at
the beginning of a relationship can return later, not in the same
form, but in a deeper way if each parntner allows the other to have
his or her own individuality, so that oneness can be reached
through twoness. (May 1) Strange behavior is usually caused by
scar tissue around one's heart. (July 21) Conflict, which is
inevitable in imtimate relationship, opens you to deeper awareness
of each other's vulnerabilities. (May 6) We get some clues about
fitting our spiritual life in with our romantic life. (May 20)
Nagging is a symptom of poor communication skills and is a form of
self-sabotage. (September 9) Your partner cannot reject you; you
are the only one with the power to truly reject yourself.
Throughout, as in their previous book, Sherven and Sniechowski
tirelessly cheerlead their readers toward deeper and greater love.
Committed relationships can be difficult but you are the co-creator
of yours, so don't give up! (April 6) To love well and wisely, use
your head as well as your heart. (August 5) They forge a lovely
metaphor of learning to see the world through our partner's
telescope. (April 10) While it's easy to get caught up in daily
life and feel separated from your partner, the truth is you live in
each other's minds and hearts and are never apart. (February 26)
"Fair Fighting 101" offers a welcome reprise of "The New
Intimacy"'s central message. (July 16) In the early years of a
relationship, your challenges may seem overwhelming; respond by
taking one small step into love. (March 8) Do not place your love
in competition with your partner's career. (September 2) Urges to
change and renew one's life need not mean the relationship is
ending but rather love can move us to expand and better ourselves
and can move us beyond our imagination. (September 3) And don't
forget to celebrate frequently (September 6) and to experiment with
sacred sex (December 19).
Some of their wisdom approaches the succinctness of haiku or Zen
koans. "You can only have the kind of love you believe in and work
for." (December 21). "To love only the 'good' and 'nice' is to
love not at all.... Make darkness your teacher, the source of
humility and grace." (November 9) The following day may contain
the book's core thesis: "Real romance waits for you every day when
you stay open to all the ways you touch one another, even when
you're apart." (November 10)
Every aspect of "Opening to Love" seems to have been carried out
with loving attention to detail. Like previous offerings from
Health Communications, the book is attractively produced, in a
lovely cover and a variety of appealing typefaces, with high-
quality binding designed to bend and flex for many decades of love.
Very occasionally, the authors lapse into advice that may strike
some as silly, on how to write lovenotes to your partner (January
23), how to give your sweetie nicknames (October 7) or even on
whispering sweet nothings to your partner (November 5). The
occasional somewhat bizarre suggestion, such as the notion of
competing for a day over which of you loves the other more, do not
meaningfully detract from this delightful book's admirable
combination of down-to-earth practicalities and soaring wisdom. At
most, we may be reminded of the risks the authors are taking by
passing through some of these less-travelled regions of the heart.
Maybe most of us can't realistically open to love every day of the
year, but this book will help empower all but the most intransigent
and most angelic of us to make a significant move in that
direction. It is hard not to be moved by a husband-and-wife couple
who--after lots of Saturday nights alone and two failed marriages--
found each other in mid-life and can now write together: "It
doesn't matter how many times you've failed at love.... All you
need do is come to love again, opening to learn beyond the barren
fields of your earlier days.... It isn't easy to come to love
again and again.... Yes, come again. Love is waiting for you.
Just hold out your hand. Love is waiting for you. Come again."'
Opening To Love 365 days A Year is a simple guide in this complicated wilderness. . . tiny, thoughtful and gentle ways to express, feel and to be grateful in our dailiness of existance. Here are accessible reminders everyone can do - from remembering to give a compliment to the comfort of a big pot of vegetable soup simmering on the stove. These all say love.
A book to light up your life - day by day.
Corinne Edwards Host and Producer "Book Tours" on Wisdom Television