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Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships Paperback – May 1, 2008
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"A luscious smorgasbord of non-monogamy as an opportunity for breaking free of one-way models of sex and love. Taormino's discussion is remarkably nuanced and balanced--and encourages readers to proceed with their eyes wide open." -- Jack Morin, PhD, author of The Erotic Mind
"Bold advice for explorers of open relationships. Comprehensive, clear, and grounded in practical realities, this book is one of the best to come along in a long time!" -- Deborah Anapol, Ph.D., author of Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits
"Courageous, stunningly thorough and inspiring. If you need a pathfinding guide for evolving your relationships, this is it." -- Daphne Rose Kingma, author of The Future of Love
"If you are looking for an everyday, run-of-the-mill relationship guide, this introduction to the world of nonmonogamy is probably not for you. Village Voice sex columnist Taormino, who has authored or edited a handful of guides on physical relationships (e.g., The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women), sheds light on the various types of open relations and shares tips on how these relationships can most successfully be maintained. Those put off by the book's premise shouldn't be: this is not so much an espousal of nonmonogamous relationships as it is a comprehensive guide to the phenomenon, offering numerous firsthand accounts from those involved in open relationships. With its modern twist on conventional relationships, her latest title would be best suited for contemporary nonfiction collections."---Carolann Curry, Mercer Univ. Medical Lib., Macon, GA -- Library Journal--July 2008
"Superbly informative, sympathetic and literate." -- Dr. Gloria Brame, author of Different Loving
"Taormino cuts through all the utopian theory and gets down to what people really need: the nuts and bolts of how open relationships work. I want to give Opening Up to everyone I know who asks, 'How do you do it?'" -- Susie Bright, author of Best American Erotica Series
"This is the book you want to read if you're looking for a voice that is balanced, sensitive and sensible when tackling the thorny question of sexual boundaries in love relationships. Opening Up is sure to open up your mind." -- Esther Perel, author of Mating In Captivity: Unlocking Erotica Intelligence
About the Author
Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, editor, and sex educator. She is the author of True Lust: Adventures in Sex, Porn and Perversion, Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women and editor of the Lambda Literary Award-winning anthology series Best Lesbian Erotica. Her popular Village Voice column "Pucker Up" is nationally syndicated. She runs her own adult film production company, Smart Ass Productions, and is currently an exclusive director for Vivid Entertainment. Tristan has been featured in over 250 publications including The New York Times, Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Entertainment Weekly, Details, New York Magazine, Men's Health, and Playboy. She has appeared on HBO's Real Sex, The Howard Stern Show, Loveline, Ricki Lake, and on CNN, MTV, and The Discovery Channel. She lectures at top colleges and universities, where she speaks on gay and lesbian issues, sexuality and gender, alternative relationships, and feminism. She teaches sex and relationship workshops around the world.
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Only thing I would do different is maybe include more exercises and perhaps even some examples of "contracts" to give people more to start with. And even though the author made a lot of effort to not be "couple-centric" there were large stretches of the book that seemed to ignore solo polyamorists. These were very minor niggles about an otherwise excellent book that I'll be recommending to anyone interested in non-monogamy.
It's by no means a thick tome, but it's still packed with very useful advice that is much more difficult to put in to practice than it sounds. You will probably find yourself going back and referring to the book time and again to get yourself back on track.
Unfortunately, openness and honesty in relationships is not something implicitly encouraged in our society (despite outward appearances). It takes a lot of effort to get in to the swing of things and this book will really help you do just that.