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The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money Hardcover – February 3, 2015

4.5 out of 5 stars 142 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Harper; F First Edition edition (February 3, 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0062247018
  • ISBN-13: 978-0062247018
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (142 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #78,029 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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By Bassocantor TOP 50 REVIEWER on February 3, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition
THE OPPOSITE OF SPOILED is an extensive investigation into why kids are spoiled--and more importantly, what we can do to avoid that mistake.

There are lots of practical tips, interviews, and stories from families that have tried different methods to make your kids
value work and spend their money wisely. For example, the author gives an example of one family that calculates the most fun per dollar spent on their recreation. The whole family gets together and discusses what's the best use of their money.

Ron notes that spoiled kids have four things in common. First, they don't have many chores; second they don't have any rules; thirdly they have lots of free time assistance; and fourthly, they have a lot of stuff.

Here are some other great ideas:

♦ It's important to talk to your kids about money matters; "Take out the bills and show them. Let them ask all the questions they want."

♦ Teach kids delayed gratification: "How to delay gratification is a key part of learning to handle money well... "Teaching our children the ability to wait is a big part of our overall goal, and what's most important about allowance is what will happen when they're too old to get one."

♦ It used to be that people compare themselves to others horizontally. But now it's possible to compare yourself vertically - that is against wealthy people.

♦ Studies have shown that kids who watch commercials are much more likely to want to play with a toy rather than with other kids. So the author recommends severely limiting watching of commercials.

♦ Encourage your kids to give money away: "Storing allowance money in a 'give jar' along with the 'spend' and 'save' ones will help.
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Format: Kindle Edition
The subtitle is really the key to this book: this is about everything having to do with money and raising kids to be smart about it: from being honest about how much you make (and other financial matters) to learning to save, spend wisely, and give. Raising kids who aren't spoiled isn't a main objective so much as a side result of helping them to be wise about money. Note that it really isn't about ways for lower income families to deal with lack of money so much as higher income families manage an abundant stream available to their kids.

The book breaks down into sections: Talking about finances with your kids, allowance, save/spend/give, impulse control, giving to others/charities, jobs/work ethics for teens, and more. There are some excellent points made about things we take for granted: e.g., the topic on allowances was very enlightening and challenged some long held beliefs I had about how/why/when I give an allowance. As well, a section on managing teen issues such as wants/needs (brand name jeans, video games, etc.) was also very informative.

Since the book was about money, none of the emotional issues such as overparenting/helicopter parenting/doing everything for a child instead of letting them do it/fail are not discussed. I disagree with the author a bit that managing money alone will help keep children from being spoiled. But on the single subject of finances and kids (which encompasses much more than the spoiled title), there is a lot of good information here.

Suitable for parents with toddlers through teen years (even college years, a bit), the book has a broad reach. It is an easy, if dry, read that can be finished in a few hours. Reviewed from an advance reader copy provided by the publisher.
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Format: Kindle Edition
Nobody wants their kids to be spoiled. New York Times columnist Ron Lieber wants to help. The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who are Grounded, Generous, and Smart about Money provides some principles and guidelines for parents to think about as they talk about money with their kids. And as Lieber says, talking about money is a great place to start. So many parents keep their kids financially in the dark, either out of a desire to avoid boasting and pride or to protect the kids from financial worries. But Lieber wants parents to "promise to our kids that we will make them better at money than we are."

Lieber recognizes that there's not a good word for the opposite of spoiled as we use the word to describe spoiled kids. So he starts by describing spoiled kids. They have few chores, few rules, doting parents, and lots of material possessions. As any parent of any socio-economic level will recognize, these traits are not found exclusively among children in wealthy families. In The Opposite of Spoiled he attempts to describe the "values and virtues and character traits" that "collectively add up to the kind of grounded, decent young adults that every parent hopes to send out into the world."

Of course the quality of being spoiled doesn't have only to do with financial matters, but that's where Lieber keeps his focus. As the cover illustrates, Lieber is a big fan of the three-jar, save/spend/give plan. Even at a young age, kids can learn to make choices and think in terms of budgeting. One principle I especially liked is the Fun Ratio: before we (or the kids) spend money on things we want, we can "estimate the hours of fun per dollar that any Want of theirs might provide.
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