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Oral Sex: Talking and Listening Your Way to Passionate Intimacy Paperback – February 17, 2006
... the authors blend useful information, stories and personal experiences to teach practical way of talking about sex.. -- Pat Lynch, Founder and Editor-in-Chief WomensRadio
The book shows how both compassion and self-acceptance are central to enjoyable sex.... -- Marty Klein, Ph.D., sex therapist, author Ask Me Anything, publisher
The one indispensable book ALL couples should read together. -- Ian and Alicia Denchasy, founders of FreddyandEddy.com
About the Author
Jordan Paul, Ph.D. is a well-known psychotherapist, author, motivational speaker, personal coach and college professor. Dr. Paul is the author or co-author of seven books including the national best-seller, Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Information about his last book, Becoming Your Own Hero and his innovative approach to Fulfillment Coaching. Jordan can be contacted by email at, email@example.com
Brenda Freshman, Ph.D. is the founder and president of Social Logistics, a communication training and coaching firm whose clients include government agencies, educational institutions, healthcare professionals and real estate corporations. As an executive coach, Dr. Freshman assists leaders and managers realize their professional and personal goals. She is a professor and academic researcher who has published journal articles in the United States and abroad on Emotional Intelligence, Communication, Spirituality in the Workplace, and Social Networks. Brenda is a sought-after speaker on topics of individual and organizational communication and can be contacted by email at firstname.lastname@example.org
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Top Customer Reviews
Within the Introduction, the authors Jordan Paul, Ph.D and Brenda Freshman, Ph.D make a connection to create a blend with an issue of such importance as communicating within a relationship and sexual activities. They aptly name this chapter "Becoming a Cunning Linquist".
Cunning: Skill or adeptness in execution or performance.
Linquist: A person who speaks several languages.
-The American Heritage Dictionary
The first chapter, "Having a Heart On" is all about the Heart Connection. Within this chapter they include everything with regards to having the "Light On" for both of you to connect and also what happens when the "Light Is Off" and the disconnection that will follow. During the time that your heart wavers from on to off, you realize that one main feeling courses through you; Fear. Through learning from exercises of compassionate listening and taking on personal responsibility you will see how you can take action to return to your heart.
Within Chapter 2, "The Nuts and Bolts of Holistic Sex", you will find how the body, mind and spirit intertwine together to make sex the most intimate experience ever. Here each segment will be broken down so that the reader can grasp how each part, whether it be the body (scientifically and physically), mind (beliefs of masculinity and femininity) or spirit (living in the present) is shown by example within a quote or testimony.
Chapter 3, "Oral Sex for Fun, Pleasure and Healing", brings communication to the front, and shows how it can be expressed in so many great ways. Having fun means going back to the basics and using what we all have within ourselves to "pleasure" oneself. This means using; Sensual Hearing, Pleasurable Sight, Sensual Taste and Sight, and Transcendent Touch. This chapter will examine the Common Belief versus the Heart-Connected Belief for each of these senses. The authors give their own personal experiences while weaving in stories to express each sense. Healing is a part of this wonderful time, and there isn't anything more beautiful than the story of "No Strings Attached".
Chapter 4, "Falling in Love" is a walk down the road of what we all should have done to practice the basics of communication. Everyone can relate to the "chance meeting, first date, getting to know each other, discussing safe sex" and finally determining the fine line of "just dating" and a "significant other". When I read this chapter I laughed at myself that I was lucky that I got as far with Freddy, since I strayed a bit from following this path. Although, I do remember when we got married, my stepfather said to both of us that "communication" is all I have to give you for advice". And that sticks to me and my heart every day.
Within Chapter 5 of "Staying In Love: Part 1 Intimacy and Sex", you will read how intimacy within a relationship is a staple for it to survive. You will see how sexual intimacy moves from "getting" to "giving" and how it changes the way you look at one another and grow to the next level in your relationship. I have seen how couples who have grown more apart over the years, due to not committing to have their hearts connect and letting their needs be filled with "receiving" instead of "giving". Throughout ones' relationship other issues may appear such as Sex and Parenting, Sex and Disability and Sex and Aging. Reality says that they may all appear at least once in your committed relationship.
Lastly Chapter 6, "Staying In Love: Part II Intimacy and Freedom, expands on the topic of Chapter 5. Losing your personal freedom is a fear that seems to rear its' ugly head once in awhile in relationships. Why is it that people think that a relationship has anything to do with freedom? Are we not respecting each other as an individual, (what made us attracted to each other in the first place)? The combination of Fear and Freedom can only lead a couple down a path that may lead to some very undesirable place, such as Infidelity. Is that bad? Or is it a learning curve.
Oral Sex - Talking and Listening Your Way to Passionate Intimacy is a well written book that showcases how we all need to use the most important aspect in a relationship - COMMUNICATION. With a slight tongue-in-cheek, yet informative attitude, they offer great advice and insight as what ALL couples will face down the road of life together. Hopefully they will be heart connected.
We are beings of mind, body, and spirit, and our most rewarding relating comes when all three are in harmony, flowing lovingly through open hearts. There are so very many books about sex that deal only with the body, or with the body and mind. There are tantric volumes that deal with the spirit and the body. "Oral Sex" fills the gap, weaving body, mind and spirit together, creating a tapestry of opportunity where open hearted comunication about the most intimate physical loving can grow into a deeper spiritual and emotional bond betwen lovers.
Whether you are starting a brand new relationship or hoping to enrich or reviatlize a relationship that has already weathered a few storms, embracing open hearted communication about sex will create a loving and intimate environment where both partners can grow and blossom.
Oral Sex is the perfect foreplay, to bring your loving to new heights of intimacy, honesty, and love. And isn't that what we all long for, after all.
YES!YES!YES! (I'll have what she's having.)
The authors have done a superb job of speaking clearly and creatively about how to really experience the deepest joy of life that comes from true intimacy in connecting with that one special mate. With humor and a creative genius they have taken a mix of common sense & practical, modern human psychology along with the wisdom of the ages as embodied in Buddist or Tantric and other ancient schools of thought to give a guide that will only deepen the loving connection between committed couples. No couple that takes this easy to read book seriously will be disappointed. Any couple that allows these talented teachers work to assist them will reap the greatest rewards possible of more joy, greater fullfillment and a more deeply loving committment. Read this book, turn off the TV, and tune into the most fulfilling and gratifying phase of your life.