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About Oscar Sparrow
Oscar Sparrow was born in Winchester UK in 1949, apparently thanks to the American Marshal Aid programme to re-build Europe after the war. As the colour red leached its way out of the map of the British Empire, Oscar attended a die-hard Church school designed to create noble savages to serve what was left of the savage Nobles. The Eleven Plus exam revealed that he could not even count to eleven and he became a mechanic, labourer, truck driver and poet. He read Wordsworth and car maintenance manuals in a lorry cab near both Oxford and Cambridge universities. Oscar became a member of the Socialist Workers Party and was a shop steward for the GMB trades union.
At the age of 25 he heard the music of Edith Piaf and learned to sing all her songs. A few years later he realised she was French and that he was an ugly swan not a beautiful duckling. The shock propelled him to London where he joined the Metropolitan Police. Car chases and riots followed but he did not take it personally. He spent his spare time touring the Art galleries, singing Piaf and learning turistico Italiano.
Eventually The Authorities fell for his transparently fraudulent sophistication and gave him a desk job in the Art department of Interpol London at Scotland Yard. He spent evenings in low venues performing his poetry, always careful to leave ahead of any applause, flying tomatoes or furniture.
After twenty years of public service, Oscar returned to the open road as a trucker, taxi and bus driver.
Throughout all this time he was a would be poet, short story writer and novelist. Always scribbling he sent waves of short stories to magazines and published poems via the National Poetry Foundation magazines. He wore out a typewriter and the patience of more or less all major publishers with his novels. Oscar has always been very conscious that success too early in a literary career can spoil a writer and has avoided any such risk.
Oscar has wonderful children whom he will not mention in order to save embarrassment. They know who they are. Oscar has lived a fortunate and blessed life on the cusp of a breakthrough.
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What could link a webcam girl, a cross-dressing police chief and an escaped ferret?
A British nation torn by Brexit staggers on. Frankie Ferret, a pre-school children's TV celebrity, escapes into sewers of London and surely is dead. The people unite in grief. Police Chiefs, counselors and politicos stand in tear-stained sincerity with the common people. Viktor Pinupskin of Russia offers a genetically-modified bear cub with his own face as a substitute. Internet bots urge a vote and attempt to sway the masses. Chaos and panic threaten to destroy the economy.
Into the mix steps young police inspector, Crispin Bissel. His mission is to lead the search and target PR for the cops. His ex-girlfriend, Selena Fontesse, is a mature ex-webcam girl specializing in veggie porn. She has the looks and the bosom to comfort a people broken by sorrow.
Could love be re-kindled over an open drain? Could Frankie be alive? Could a billionaire, a hot air balloon, a pop star, and a staring messianic child, bring happiness back to a population in despair? And what if the big plans were to fail?
What if there were a cover up?
A deplorable basket-case of a book. All right-thinking people should be offended. Cross-dressing vegan cannibals will love this story. There's no safe space on campus when a ferret like Frankie gets into the pipes. A tender love story, an outrageous unfair satire, an exposé of the media-cult whirl in which we live, where news, fake news and spin are the currencies of coercion.
Buy this book and forgive yourself for laughing. It's not incorrect if you didn't mean to.
A shocking story of news and fake news. A tale of heroism and struggle with a literary stalker. A success story - one small man's push to come off of the bottom.
Oscar Sparrow is a sewage trucker and poet. This is his true story.
Pursued by a literary stalker, crippled by lack of dietary fibre, sometimes naked and soaked in foul waste he never loses sight of his vision. Even from his police cell he sees only the blue sky. Driven on by his reckless love of women he becomes a best-selling female romantic novelist. If you've ever despaired, fallen in love, or sat on a toilet, this book will change your perception of reality.
Through failure, rejection and self-doubt a man fights his way off the bottom. A love story conceived over an open manhole and delivered by Elvis. An inspirational account of our common struggles. Take his grubby hand and for the rest of your life a comrade walks with you through every set-back and brings you through as a winner.
The self-help book the bosses don't want you to read.
'My Life in Ladies' Knickers' is as British as a Friday night kebab and a pub fight. Oscar Sparrow is a sewage trucker and poet. His life is a slap-stick romantic comedy where the slap is the harsh truth of life. The tickling stick has a shitty end with which to fight back. The romance is the transformational touch of a woman's love.
Enjoy laugh-out-loud moments as you discover the true story of how a sewage sucker became a successful female romance novelist. An outrageous comedy adventure and memoir.
It's jokey, it's blokey, it's porn-hokey-cokey.
Scroll up now - grab your copy and enjoy Oscar's hilarious story tonight.
The Freeze Frame project brings together six international poets, each with their own vision of what would appear in the static frame if we capture the flow of our ceaseless contemporary narrative.
With an hour of free audio the reader may experience the full presence and intention of the poets on their Kindle or other e-reader device.
Whether you are seeking an inspirational quote or a cutting edge intellectual concept, Freeze Frame is a unique collection of short poems allowing you to step aside and perhaps hit the pause button of your own rushing life.
We are born without language into a world of tears, mystery, sounds, shapes, light and dark. Slowly words begin to allow us individual expression. For the poet, this process never stops.
The quest for words with which to capture the sound of wind in trees, an echo on a lonely city street, an unexpected jolt of joy and on and on is the quest and frustration of the poet. Whether it is the nuance of a relationship or the clatter of a factory machine, we seek to hold them so that they may be seen, maybe for just long enough to make a little more sense of them. By sense of course, I mean perhaps beauty, pathos, symmetry and on through an infinity of inadequate dictionaries.
Freeze Frame is a project arising from my own experience as a poet. We live in a multi-channel world. Poetry is no longer a mainstream medium and we should not be surprised at this. Our lives are dominated by work and survival. We can click on any film we wish to watch, or hear any song that was that was ever composed.
So what could poetry do that was special?
My response was that it could provide a tiny pause in the great evolving video of our time. Perhaps it was worth freezing the frame.
I invited five other writers to contribute to this collection. The great thing about other poets is that they are not me. They are free of my own influences and prejudices. The internet has allowed contacts and cross pollinations that would never have been possible previously.
Out there in the ether there are the images, the metaphors, the juxtapositions and the rhythms that say just a little more than the words alone.
I thank all of them for their preparedness to join this mission.
Watch the launch video and get the flavour of Freeze Frame - meet the poets and hear the music, on Oscar Sparrow's author page, click his name just below the title at the top of this page and find the video on the far right under the blog.
Why not take a look at a few of the poems - scroll up and click on LOOK INSIDE!
A collection of poems from the front-line of urban life, the cabs of lorries and the bluebell woods of mortality, complete with free audio links.
Oscar Sparrow was born in 1949 as the sonic boom of jets and babies began to draw a new world map of umbilical vapour trails. He was brought up on cod liver oil and National Health orange juice. As the colour red leached its way out of the map of the British Empire, Oscar attended a die-hard Church school designed to create noble savages to serve what was left of the savage Nobles. The Eleven Plus exam revealed that he could not even count to eleven and he became a mechanic, labourer, truck driver, boxer and poet. He read Wordsworth and Ford Cortina manuals in a lorry cab near both Oxford and Cambridge Universities. Eventually he found himself in London where he joined the Metropolitan Police. Car chases and riots followed but he did not take it personally. He spent his spare time touring the Art galleries, singing Piaf and learning French and Italian. Eventually The Authorities fell for the con and gave him a desk job in the Art department of Interpol London at Scotland Yard. Throughout all this time he was a would be poet, short story writer and novelist.
To Oscar, poetry is the spoken word. A link to free audio recordings of these poems, read by the author, is included.
Visit my author page (click my name at the top of this page below the title) to see and hear the title poem 'I threw a stone' in my book trailer.