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Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent Paperback – May 4, 1999

by Meredith F. Small (Author)

94 customer reviews

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A thought-provoking combination of practical parenting information and scientific analysis, Our Babies, Ourselves is the first book to explore why we raise our children the way we do--and to suggest that we reconsider our culture's traditional views on parenting.

New parents are faced with innumerable decisions to make regarding the best way to care for their baby, and, naturally, they often turn for guidance to friends and family members who have already raised children. But as scientists are discovering, much of the trusted advice that has been passed down through generations needs to be carefully reexamined.

In this ground-breaking book, anthropologist Meredith Small reveals her remarkable findings in the new science of ethnopediatrics. Professor Small joins pediatricians, child-development researchers, and anthropologists across the country who are studying to what extent the way we parent our infants is based on biological needs and to what extent it is based on culture--and how sometimes what is culturally dictated may not be what's best for babies.

Should an infant be encouraged to sleep alone? Is breast-feeding better than bottle-feeding, or is that just a myth of the nineties? How much time should pass before a mother picks up her crying infant? And how important is it really to a baby's development to talk and sing to him or her?

These are but a few of the important questions Small addresses, and the answers not only are surprising, but may even change the way we raise our children.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"So packed with compelling information about parenting practices around the globe that the reader may have trouble putting it down."
--Salon

"Nothing less than a liberation. For too long parents have agonized...that there is one 'right' way to raise an infant. With engaging wit and profound scholarship...Small opens our eyes to the variety of child-care practices in other cultures."
--James Shreeve, author of The Neanderthal Enigma

"Wise, humane and packed with information."
--Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, professor of anthropology, University of California, Davis.

"In elegant, engaging prose, Meredith Small shows the mother-child relation to be a microcosm of society."
--Frans B. M. de Waal, Ph.D.

From the Inside Flap

are faced with innumerable decisions to make regarding the best way to care for their baby, and, naturally, they often turn for guidance to friends and family members who have already raised children. But as scientists are discovering, much of the trusted advice that has been passed down through generations needs to be carefully reexamined.

A thought-provoking combination of practical parenting information and scientific analysis, Our Babies, Ourselves is the first book to explore why we raise our children the way we do--and to suggest that we reconsider our culture's traditional views on parenting.

In this ground-breaking book, anthropologist Meredith Small reveals her remarkable findings in the new science of ethnopediatrics. Professor Small joins pediatricians, child-development researchers, and anthropologists across the country who are studying to what extent the way we parent our infants is based on biological needs and to what extent it is based on culture

See all Editorial Reviews

Product details

Paperback: 292 pages
Publisher: Anchor; Reprint edition (May 4, 1999)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0385483627
ISBN-13: 978-0385483629
Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.7 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 94 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #61,511 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #124 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Anthropology > General
- #304 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting > Early Childhood
- #306 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Anthropology > Cultural

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Olga Be

A very important read for first time parents

February 4, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Excellent book for those who want to understand the needs of babies in a scientific, researched way - free from the cultural dogmas. I found it extremely valuable as I am preparing for having a baby in a multi-cultural family living in the US, where the advice flows freely and in opposite directions. The quality of information presented by this book is a welcome change from the opinionated and unsupported BS found in most consumer websites that are the most common information source for the pregnant women these days.

5 people found this helpful6 people found this helpful

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Schmitty

Liked it

December 9, 2011

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I just finished the book and had a few observations that might help
you read it more efficiently.

- Like most non-fiction the first third of the book lays the ground
work but can be boring (kind of like the first two years of undergrad
classes). You can skim the first two chapters if you want.
- Chapter three is where things start to get good.
- I especially like the sections of the book on crying, sleeping, and
eating. The author can get a bit preachy at times but she provides
good evidence and always cites her sources.
- The section on temperament was the only really boring part and can
be skipped in my opinion.
- The last quarter of the book is notes, so it's not as long as it seems.

Overall the book was extremely interesting and mostly validated how I
want to raise our kid, and more importantly it gave me good ammo for
arguing with people (mainly my family!) about why I'm "right" ;)

Enjoy!

7 people found this helpful8 people found this helpful

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mils

A refreshing perspective on parenting

February 23, 2013

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

Read this if you feel, as I did, that parenting books and advice generally offer too narrow a perspective on parenting goals and styles. This book helps us see that the most disparate of views on parenting that circulate in the US and Europe nearly all share the assumption that it is desirable to accelerate our baby's independence. This book offers much needed perspective on the geographic and historical variety of parenting goals and approaches, and on the assumptions that we bring to parenting in the US and Western Europe today. To parents who have been made to feel any qualms about holding, sleeping with, responding to, carrying their babies, and generally, letting their babies by babies, this book should make you feel more confident about trusting your instincts, and doing what you feel is right.

3 people found this helpful4 people found this helpful

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Jennifer Juday

Compelling & Thought Provoking Read for This Parent-to-Be!

April 17, 2005

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

My husband and I are pregnant for the first time. I read OUR BABIES, OURSELVES with an eye to getting a broader perspective on parenting. OUR BABIES, OURSELVES delivered that. OUR BABIES, OURSELVES gives a broad view of parenting practices, quoting scientific and anthropological studies to give a view that leaves me much more comfortable trying out some practices that were not part of my upbringing. Several years ago, I can remember it seeming a bit strange when I found that a friend and her husband had taken on holding and/or touching their baby for the entire first year of his life. After reading OUR BABIES, OURSELVES, this does not seem as weird as it did then. I may not take on that goal, but I find it much more compelling after reading about practices in other cultures regarding breastfeeding, responding to babies crying, sleeping alone or in a family bed, etc.

I was hoping for an anthropological take on the subject and got it. OUR BABIES, OURSELVES also quotes from a number of scientific studies. If you never read scientific nonfiction, you may not enjoy this approach. If, like me, you do, then I think you will find this one a page-turner. OUR BABIES, OURSELVES kept me awake a long plane trip where I had expected to do much more sleeping! I called my husband to share bits and pieces that had me excited and thinking in a new way, and got him thinking too!

A quick glance at other reviews tells me that some people found OUR BABIES, OURSELVES overly prescriptive. I did not. I found it less prescriptive than some of the other parenting books I have taken a look at. While Small does come down favoring parenting that lines up more with the rest of the world (co-sleeping, more touch, responding rather than letting children "cry it out"), I found the sketches of parenting practices in a variety of cultures empowering. They were not all identical. The take away message, at least for me, is to listen more to the child and less to western prescriptions for "getting parenting right."

I highly recommend OUR BABIES, OURSELVES. It is a fun read, and a book that will make you think!

9 people found this helpful10 people found this helpful

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