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Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men's Lives Hardcover – June 4, 2019
| Walt Odets (Author) Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this author |
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A moving exploration of how gay men construct their identities, fight to be themselves, and live authentically
It goes without saying that even today, it’s not easy to be gay in America. While young gay men often come out more readily, even those from the most progressive of backgrounds still struggle with the legacy of early-life stigma and a deficit of self-acceptance, which can fuel doubt, regret, and, at worst, self-loathing. And this is to say nothing of the ongoing trauma wrought by AIDS, which is all too often relegated to history. Drawing on his work as a clinical psychologist during and in the aftermath of the epidemic, Walt Odets reflects on what it means to survive and figure out a way to live in a new, uncompromising future, both for the men who endured the upheaval of those years and for the younger men who have come of age since then, at a time when an HIV epidemic is still ravaging the gay community, especially among the most marginalized.
Through moving stories―of friends and patients, and his own―Odets considers how experiences early in life launch men on trajectories aimed at futures that are not authentically theirs. He writes to help reconstruct how we think about gay life by considering everything from the misleading idea of “the homosexual,” to the diversity and richness of gay relationships, to the historical role of stigma and shame and the significance of youth and of aging. Crawling out from under the trauma of destructive early-life experience and the two epidemics, and into a century of shifting social values, provides an opportunity to explore possibilities rather than live with limitations imposed by others. Though it is drawn from decades of private practice, activism, and life in the gay community, Odets’s work achieves remarkable universality. At its core, Out of the Shadows is driven by his belief that it is time that we act based on who we are and not who others are or who they would want us to be. We―particularly the young―must construct our own paths through life. Out of the Shadows is a necessary, impassioned argument for how and why we must all take hold of our futures.
- Print length368 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherFarrar, Straus and Giroux
- Publication dateJune 4, 2019
- Dimensions6.42 x 1.23 x 9.35 inches
- ISBN-100374285853
- ISBN-13978-0374285852
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"[Odets's] writing is poignant and achingly beautiful―so much so, in fact, that I occasionally had to put the book down to avoid weeping on the subway. There’s sadness in Odets’s life story, but there’s mostly resilience, tenderness and a willingness to fashion an unapologetic gay life, sometimes against all odds. (The exquisitely told story of Odets’s longtime friend and lover, who fled a trailer he shared with a brutally homophobic family and built a life bursting with meaning and intimacy, is the most compelling story of gay self-actualization I’ve ever encountered.)" ―Benoit Denizet-Lewis, The New York Times Book Review
“Odets’ trifecta of social commentary, memoir and therapeutic analysis is an astute statement on how to overcome trauma, loss and isolation to live a proud, self-actualized and fulfilling existence as a gay man . . . The final two chapters in which he describes the long road to coming out and his deep love for his lifelong companion, Matthias, and Matthias’ partner, Hank, are some of the most on-point and beautifully written thoughts on love, acceptance and family I’ve read in some time.” ―Alexis Burling, San Francisco Chronicle
"[A] fascinating exploration of gay male lives . . . Odets’s warm and lyrical voice, his inspiring picture of how imaginative gay life can be, has sent me queuing for the couch. I have a feeling that many other readers will follow." ―Marcus Field, London Evening Standard
"A book full of heart . . . Impressively sound and based on a wealth of research and experience." ―Steven Cordova, Lambda Literary
“[A] soaring combination of social critique, memoir, and manifesto . . . [Odets’s] discussions of gay men’s sexual expression and relationships are frank, compassionate, and open-minded . . . Odets’s greatest strengths are his moving prose and ability to make the psychological material accessible and as fascinating and thought-provoking as the poignant stories. Gay men will find much to ponder here, but any reader can find meaning in this extraordinary, stirring invitation to re-examine assumptions about what it means to be gay and to have a good life.” ―Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“An insightful and thought-provoking book . . . A luminous humanity shines through, never more so than in the final chapter, the author’s highly empathetic, memorable story of the three men he has loved." ―Michael Cart, Booklist
“[Walt Odets’s] writing is perceptive and honest . . . This is an encouraging and deeply compelling study of how gay men can build meaningful identities.” ―Kirkus Reviews
From the Back Cover
Odets's profound sensitivities to the dimensions of the closet, the plague
years,survival, and rebirth have resulted in a monumental and mature
painting--a giant mural of where we have been and where we stand. There
is loss and humanness, and there is hope in the despair he charts. There is
communion and commonality, and ultimately, there is celebration of how
outsiders insist on being known and seen. All the stories--from those closest
to Odets to those at a slight clinical remove--form a quilt that drapes
over a culture that is still learning what comes next after the worst has happened.
I wept with sorrow and pride at the persistent and contradictory life
force running in a seam throughout the book. Out of the Shadows is a major
addition to the literature of gay life and death, of the difficult task of finding
forms of intimacy that humans need in order to thrive."
--Jon Robin Baitz,playwright "Out of the Shadows is a beautifulbook, perfectly and artfully balanced between acknowledging the trauma ofHIV/AIDS and envisioning a future rich with possibility and joy. Walt Odetsdoes what few other writers have done before. Drawing deeply from thediversities of gay male culture, the lives of his clients, and his ownexperience, he skillfully and lovingly explores the emotional and psychicrealities of being a gay man today. Compelling, compassionate, and at timeseven humorous, this is an important book that addresses, with greatseriousness, both the demands of intimacy and powers of sexuality." --MichaelBronski, professor, Harvard University, and author of A Queer Historyof the United States
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Farrar, Straus and Giroux; First Edition (June 4, 2019)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 368 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0374285853
- ISBN-13 : 978-0374285852
- Item Weight : 1.3 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.42 x 1.23 x 9.35 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #646,932 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #870 in LGBTQ+ Demographic Studies
- #2,073 in Cultural Anthropology (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Walt Odets is a clinical psychologist in private practice who has worked with and written about the psychological, developmental and social lives of gay men for more than three decades.
His seminal book, In the Shadow of the Epidemic: Being HIV-Negative in the Age of AIDS, which Duke University Press published in 1995, was selected by The New York Times as one of the “Notable Books of the Year.” The Advocate magazine reported that In the Shadow of the Epidemic was also the No. 1 bestselling book among gay men that fall. The following year, OUT magazine named Odets "one of The 100 most impressive, influential and controversial gay men and lesbians of 1996.”
Odets’s recent work has focused on the psychological aftermath of the HIV epidemic, the long-standing childhood and adolescent stigmatization and trauma experienced by young gay men, and the conventional idea of “the homosexual” and its negative influences on gay identities, self-realization and relationships between men. This work has culminated in a new book, OUT OF THE SHADOWS: REIMAGINING GAY MEN'S LIVES, which examines the hopes and new possibilities for gay men today. The book will be released by both Farrar, Straus and Giroux and Penguin Random House (U.K.), in June 2019.
Walt Odets earned his B.A. in philosophy from Wesleyan University in 1969, and after two decades working as a photojournalist and pilot, a Ph.D. from San Francisco's Professional School of Psychology, in 1989. A public advocate, he has consulted for the Shanti Project of San Francisco and the Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC) in New York City, and been a member of the AIDS Task Force of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA). He has also served as a clinical supervisor for the psychology intern program at Berkeley's Pacific Center, and as a member of the United States Congress, Office of Technology Assessment evaluation workshop on AIDS prevention.
A seasoned and engaging public speaker, Odets has presented to a broad range of groups, including The Gay Men's Health Summit, the California Department of Health Services, the American Psychological Association, the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA), the Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC), the San Francisco Psychoanalytic Institute, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF), the National Gay and Lesbian Health Conference, the American Psychiatric Association, the San Francisco Department of Public Health, the State of New York Department of Health, the Yale University Institution for Social and Policy Studies, the Stanford Medical School and the Centers for Disease Control (CDC).
Walt Odets is the son of playwright Clifford Odets and stage actress Bette Grayson. He was born and raised in Los Angeles and New York, and presently lives in Berkeley, California, where he writes and maintains a private practice in psychotherapy.
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Website: www.waltodets.com
Facebook: @waltodetsauthor
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UPDATE:
Love this book. If you are gay you should read. (5 stars)
By Pete on June 20, 2021
UPDATE:
Love this book. If you are gay you should read. (5 stars)









