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There I was. Cornered. Attempting to suppress labored breath for fear my cover would be lost as the beast stomped in frustration only a few meters away, sniffing the air suspiciously.
After stumbling entirely by accident into the creature’s napping spot, and having almost evaded the encounter, I tripped, falling face first into a burgeoning hive of bees and alerting him to my presence.
The bear sprung to groggy action and took a swipe, but missed.
After running for the better part of an hour through the thick undergrowth of the mountain I had no clue where I was or where the bear was in relation to me. The sound of his heavy trot had faded a few moments before. I took the opportunity to catch my breath and take a long drink from my canteen, the only piece of kit I hadn’t dropped in the scramble of my earlier encounter.
My surroundings had a calming effect. There I was, deep in the woods, surrounded by all manner of life and sound, but somehow alone. I did not know where I was. No one knew where I was. I lay against a fallen log and stretched my legs out in front of me.
That’s when I heard it. The unmistakable crunching of sticks, leaves, and vocalization of an angry, hungry bear.
There I was. Cornered. Attempting to suppress labored breath for fear my cover would be lost as the beast stomped in frustration only a few meters away, sniffing the air suspiciously. I pulled my legs in close to my chest and assumed an upright fetal position. The bear walked past my log, into my line of sight. Still sniffing into the distance in front of us both. I reflexively pulled away, unable to control my fear.
The bear and I were equally startled by the metallic *Tink!* sound that emanated from my waist as I flinched. He turned to face me as I looked down to see what had given me away.
Salvation! My Guard Alaska™ Bear Defense Spray was still attached to my belt loop!
The bear looked more confused than angry, but I was not in the mood for chance. I grappled with the carabiner, quickly pulling the spray loose, popped the safety tab from it’s hold with ease, and took aim.
“Oooohhhh bother!!” Exclaimed the bear. “Why did you do that? I can’t see!”
“A talking bear?” I thought to myself. “Bear, are you talking?”
“Yes I’m talking! What is wrong with you?”
Taken aback, and internally reconciling the fact that I was having a conversation with a bear, I replied.
“I’m… I’m sorry. I thought you were about to attack me.”
“Of course not! You dropped your pack, I was bringing it back.”
The bear unshouldered my pack and tossed it over, then went back to rubbing his eyes.
“Um. Thank you bear. So you’re not going to eat me?”
“No. I’m not going to eat you.” He replied.
“I’m sorry about the bear spray. Do you know how to get out of here?”
“Why yes, of course. Why these are my woods after all.”
“Great! Thank you.”
The bear stood again, and began to walk. “We’d better get a move on, it will be dark soon. Say, friend, what’s your name?”
“Christopher, my name is Christopher. What is yours?”
“Petrus Ottoman O’Malley Hannigan” said the bear “but my friends call me Pooh.”
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