- Paperback: 106 pages
- Publisher: White Oak Publishing; 1st edition (February 1, 2001)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0970225504
- ISBN-13: 978-0970225504
- Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.2 x 8.5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
- Average Customer Review: 10 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,860,766 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Parent As Coach : Helping Your Teen Build a Life of Confidence, Courage and Compassion Paperback – February 1, 2001
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Jack Canfield, Co-Author of Chicken Soup for the Soul Series and The Secret says: PARENT AS COACH is a must-read handbook for parents of teen and pre-teens. This approach is practical, useful, direct and powerful. I use the PARENT AS COACH Approach in my own family. THIS WORKS! --Jack Canfield
From the Publisher
Parent as Coach Message: Teenagers can build lives of confidence, courage and compassion - when adults respect, nurture and acknowledge them in a one-on-one connection. Every adult can enjoy the teen years and help their teen build a happy and meaningful life when they view their young people as whole, good and wonderful and put aside the negative assumptions that often accompany the word teenager.
Parent as Coach Goal: To create positive, powerful partnerships between adults and teenagers, which allows all concerned to form lasting and enduring bonds of mutual love and respect. To transform parent-teen relationships of struggle, fear, silence and frustration into satisfying lives filled with joy, peace, deeper connections and real communication.
What is Parent as Coach? Parent as Coach is a proven and practical model for improving and transforming the relationship we have with the teens in our lives. The parent-coach model helps us as adults to examine our own core beliefs and respect the emerging beliefs of our emerging adults. Instead of teaching how to manage and control teens, Parent as Coach helps us appreciate the unique perspective of our teens and to express respect, understanding and support for who they are right now. A parent-coach does not dictate how to grow up; instead, guides a young person to their own solutions, inherent gifts, and the path to a meaningful and purposeful life.
Who is Parent as Coach For? Parent as Coach is for everyday adults everywhere who find parenting a teen challenging at best, impossible at worst. Relationships between adults and young people can be rewarding, fun, endearing, and energizing.
Why was Parent as Coach created? Out of necessity for one parent. Parent as Coach founder Diana Haskins discovered that previous ways of parenting were woefully inadequate as her child matured into a teen. This everyday parent, trained as a Personal Effective Coach, found that what worked best in the relationship with teen were the skills and processes she used as a professional coach. Coming from the passion of desperately wanting to help her teen and other young people grow into happy and productive adults, this everyday parent developed Parent as Coach for herself and for those who care for teenagers everywhere.
What Difference Will Parent as Coach Make? Parent as Coach changes our global perspective from Teenagers Oh No! to Teenagers How Cool!. From the parent-coach viewpoint, the parent-teen relationship moves from conflict and opposition to encouragement and support. The end result is that our children are raised to fill their adult shoes with the skills and maturity necessary to live as functional and responsible members of society.
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What the author, Diana Haskins, says makes a lot of sense. It left me thinking, "Wow, it's so simple. How come I never did what she suggests?" She encourages us to tell our teens that we "respect" them and "appreciate" them; "listen" to them so that we can "understand" them; and to ask them how we can "support" them. She stresses that we need to use those words because that is what they really want--to be respected, feel appreciated, to be understood and to have support; AND because it helps US remember that it is our job as parents to do those things so that they can become responsible and independent. Like many professionals who advise parents, she says we need to focus on the teen as an individual person, and not on a particular behavior.
Throughout the book the author describes her clients' cases, and how they used her guidelines to smooth things out with their teens. At the end of the book there is a section of questions parents ask, and one of those has to do with the "bad" things teens get involved in. She says that there are times we need to turn to others/community programs for help, but in the "singular relationship" between a parent and a teen, the parent should aim to have a positive influence by building up, rather than tearing down the teen.
There are exercises she recommends to get us into the habit of following her advice, and blank pages in the book for us to write down our thoughts as we go through them. Doing that would be ideal, but even without it, I feel I can improve the way I communicate with my sons, just beause I read the book and her advice will always be in the back of my mind.
But how does a parent take this approach? Obviously, one has to have the right communication skills. But which ones are they? And how should a parent perform these skills? This slim volume contains precious little about how-to.
Strangely, the content in this book was republished, seemingly without change, as "The Parent As Coach Approach," in 2008, under the name of Diana Sterling. I don't recommend this book for parents who want to take a different approach. But don't make the mistake of buying the other one - it's the same book.
Another point about this book. I love the wonderful, practical examples that Diana gives you throughout the book. You get to see first hand of how others applied these timeless principles and how you can do the same. You will now have the tools to help your teenager go from "teenager" into a "mature young adult"
I think this book should be a mandatory reading for every parent on his or her child's 13th birthday. It's the best manual on how to parent a teenager that I have ever seen. Highly recommended.
Zev Saftlas, Author of Motivation That Works and founder of EmpoweringMessages.com